Family means a lot to me and to accepted and appreciated by other family members is important to me … very important. The feeling of not being appreciated by certain family members and having disputes is downright silly and meaningless to me. Right now family is not speaking to family members because of disagreements and problems that have come across to as “forget it and not discuss it rationally” attitude. I do not know what to think about the PA and AR having a problem and now the PA family is not speaking to me either because of the fact I am “family”. How rude is that seem to you? Downright rude and stupid to be honest with you. I have an inkling as to why things are going the way they are with family but I do have to admit that I am unsure of what is really going on because no one will explain it to me because there is only speculation and assumptions as to what is going on. Numbers and emails have either been disconnected or changed so no communication is possible except for letters and even letters right now may not be pleasant. Holding grudges and being angry with one another is not being bigger and better people. Life is too short to angry and having family problems and issues. Why can we not sit down and discuss issues without having some kind of issue? God would not want it this way. Well, whatever is happening is in God’s hands and he will watch over us all and find what is important to take care of. Yes, my heart is aching for the family because now other family members have been disowned and are being considered shit by other family members. Even I am in no contact with my PA family at this time. Something is not right here!!


Today was not too bad. The weather was better than it was supposed to be according to the weather. I have learned, in recent days, not to believe what the weatherman has to say anymore and go by what the sky itself looks. I think there is something wrong with the satellite in the sky. Who knows. My neck is still kind of stiff but not as bad as the tightening of the muscle between the shoulder and the neck is lessening and loosening a bit. I took a shower before 3 p.m. to wash my hair and got under the hottest water I could stand and that seems to help a little bit. I shall see what goes on with my stiff neck in a few hours. I have to go to bed soon as tiredness has hit a few minutes ago. I hope Bing lets me sleep tonight. His playing at night has awakened me from sleep once before already.

I have two days before my BM parents come for a visit now. Bing has never met his “grandparents” yet from NM so Wednesday is the day that Bing gets to meet my parents. I am looking forward to it because Bing is a different cat when compared to my first cat Emilee Marie Cuddles. To be very honest with myself, I have not seen my parents from NM for almost 4 years now that I am a little bit nervous. Seeing my family on the computer is different than seeing family in flesh and blood and in person if that is understandable… My nerves are getting the best of me lately…AGAIN!