I have said a lot in my last entry and yet. Lot more is needed to be said. I am tired and ready to go to bed very shortly as I have a big day tomorrow morning and early part of the afternoon. I have a fairly big weekend coming and I do have to admit that I am looki g forward to this weekend coming and Sunday finally rolling around. I am even looking forward to Saturday rolling around so I can see friends and church family. I have not been to church in a long time that when I went last week I really enjoyed myself very much at church e en the sermon seemed long by the time it was finished but no complaints here. Yes I am going to church again Saturday. I really have to get back into the Lord again. He has been in my life this long and has helped me with many things so I shall not fail Him now, right? Right!
People may be thinking that I am sort of venting here and to be honest with you, this next thought is in need to be put out and off my heart before it pulls it so tight that it hurts … So here it goes … I have been told something a day or so ago that has pulled the heartstrings and what was told to me was not harmful but my feelings got hurt a bit a d the trust in this person has been going downhill for a long time now. I will not say what was the situation as the situation is in the past and I am working hard on letting things go off my shoulder and I doing better at letting things roll off my shoulders more. I am okay otherwise. Anyway…I am not sure if the person who told me what was said was e en true or just misunderstood. Walking away from negativity has been a great start. I am doing my best changing my ways that need to be changed…towards a more Christian attitude with more positiveness.
I have more to say but right now I am going to get ready for bed and be prepared for my day tomorrow.
I could not vent yesterday … was not ready to do so at the time. Things have been coming and going in my world the past few days that I have been feeling a little bit overwhelmed, lost, and not ready for a lot of things that are happening around me so fast and furious. I am managing just fine, though. I have been managing my time better lately that the overwhelming feeling is not so great that it is unbearable. The feeling is bearable for the most part and I am not losing sleep over much of anything. A handicapped apartment is coming available in our building and it was offered to me but I had decided not to take the apartment for personal and understandable reasons. I suffer from anxiety and depression practically everyday of my life so change is yet in progress of accepting it quickly as I am taking one step forward in my life that does not make me fall down flat on my bottom. I do not know how hard I would fall anymore these days. I have enough with keeping my balance on some days … like today.
I have been watching some recorded programs and movies I have had an interest in for a while and found myself not really interested in them like I first thought when the programs or movies were recorded from the start I am definitely okay with that but honestly, it bugs me to no end. The movie “Prayers For Bobby” is the only movie that I have saved so far, and I have only watched a little bit of it so far in the past few days since it was recorded. I am not always in the mood to watch lot of television lately. More interested in the interent, my writing, reading, educational endeavors, Bing Crosby, and most importantly, getting away from this building as much as I can during this winter season. The energy is there and not there, lol. I am okay, though.
In the beginning of January, more preferably in the second week, I began watching what I eat and how much of it I do eat so I am beginning to lose weight. This is my 20th year since I graduated high school so we are having our reunion this coming August and this kid is going to go to her first class reunion even though this is the 4th reunion so far since graduation. I am looking forward to this point in my life. I am in contact with several classmates from the high school I went for 4 years and some classmates who I left behind when I moved from Milton to Janesville, Wisconsin. It is so awesome…
I am okay…honestly!