Time for bed here shortly. After the 1st Narnia movie is over, I am heading to bed for the night since I am tired. Thought I would write something quickly on the last day of January before getting ready for bed. I did have a busy day all day long as well as company a couple of times during the day and an outing that I enjoyed. Tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday and there are parties all around me going on so I am attending a party tomorrow for a while. I would like to say good night and God bless to my readers and friends of Dear Diary.
Good night everyone and have a Happy SB day!
I have said a lot in my last entry and yet. Lot more is needed to be said. I am tired and ready to go to bed very shortly as I have a big day tomorrow morning and early part of the afternoon. I have a fairly big weekend coming and I do have to admit that I am looki g forward to this weekend coming and Sunday finally rolling around. I am even looking forward to Saturday rolling around so I can see friends and church family. I have not been to church in a long time that when I went last week I really enjoyed myself very much at church e en the sermon seemed long by the time it was finished but no complaints here. Yes I am going to church again Saturday. I really have to get back into the Lord again. He has been in my life this long and has helped me with many things so I shall not fail Him now, right? Right!
People may be thinking that I am sort of venting here and to be honest with you, this next thought is in need to be put out and off my heart before it pulls it so tight that it hurts … So here it goes … I have been told something a day or so ago that has pulled the heartstrings and what was told to me was not harmful but my feelings got hurt a bit a d the trust in this person has been going downhill for a long time now. I will not say what was the situation as the situation is in the past and I am working hard on letting things go off my shoulder and I doing better at letting things roll off my shoulders more. I am okay otherwise. Anyway…I am not sure if the person who told me what was said was e en true or just misunderstood. Walking away from negativity has been a great start. I am doing my best changing my ways that need to be changed…towards a more Christian attitude with more positiveness.
I have more to say but right now I am going to get ready for bed and be prepared for my day tomorrow.
I could not vent yesterday … was not ready to do so at the time. Things have been coming and going in my world the past few days that I have been feeling a little bit overwhelmed, lost, and not ready for a lot of things that are happening around me so fast and furious. I am managing just fine, though. I have been managing my time better lately that the overwhelming feeling is not so great that it is unbearable. The feeling is bearable for the most part and I am not losing sleep over much of anything. A handicapped apartment is coming available in our building and it was offered to me but I had decided not to take the apartment for personal and understandable reasons. I suffer from anxiety and depression practically everyday of my life so change is yet in progress of accepting it quickly as I am taking one step forward in my life that does not make me fall down flat on my bottom. I do not know how hard I would fall anymore these days. I have enough with keeping my balance on some days … like today.
I have been watching some recorded programs and movies I have had an interest in for a while and found myself not really interested in them like I first thought when the programs or movies were recorded from the start I am definitely okay with that but honestly, it bugs me to no end. The movie “Prayers For Bobby” is the only movie that I have saved so far, and I have only watched a little bit of it so far in the past few days since it was recorded. I am not always in the mood to watch lot of television lately. More interested in the interent, my writing, reading, educational endeavors, Bing Crosby, and most importantly, getting away from this building as much as I can during this winter season. The energy is there and not there, lol. I am okay, though.
In the beginning of January, more preferably in the second week, I began watching what I eat and how much of it I do eat so I am beginning to lose weight. This is my 20th year since I graduated high school so we are having our reunion this coming August and this kid is going to go to her first class reunion even though this is the 4th reunion so far since graduation. I am looking forward to this point in my life. I am in contact with several classmates from the high school I went for 4 years and some classmates who I left behind when I moved from Milton to Janesville, Wisconsin. It is so awesome…
I am okay…honestly!
I had a great day today. As a matter of fact I was gone from 10 a.m. this morning with a friend of mine until the early part of the afternoon running errands and having lunch with several people…enjoying the company of everyone around me. I had a lot of company this afternoon as well when I had returned home. I am tired now and intend to sleep in a liitle with my snuggle bug Bing Crosby if he is wanting to. He has been kind of mad at me because of the fact the bed has been eliminated from the living room and now my sleeping quarters are where they should be…the bedroom, LOL. I am going to say good night for now and come back tomorrow. Good night everyone…God bless.
I am sorry that I do not have time to write tonight but I am retiring to bed by 9 p.m. tonight so I can get a good night sleep due to the fact that i have a big day tomorrow. I would like to say good night to my readers and friends here on Dear Diary. Good night, everyone!
I have had a good evening and my friend did have her friend go with us tonight for supper so there was three friends of mine enjoying dinner out instead of three of us. It was an enjoyable evening and to be very honest with you … I did have a good time and so did my friends. I had steak dinner with baked potato and sour cream, corn, salad with blue cheese dressing. It was delicious and very worthwhile the money. With time almost 10:30 p. I am going to be going to bed here in a few minutes because of the fact that I will be going to church in the morning despite how cold it is going to be getting — 25 degrees below zero…brrr! I just have not been to church in a while…again and so I better be going and fellowshipping with other wonderful Christians of my faith. I am, now, as the hour is getting late, will say that I am tired and rearing to go to bed here very soon. It has been hard to stay awake before midnight because I take medication at night to help me sleep a good night’s rest. I think, even though I didn’t really have an order of thought at this hour of the night, going to say good night and God bless my readers and friends here at Dear Diary, and go to bed here now. Good night and God bless, and do sleep well!
Not much going on right now really. Just turned the television off for the rest of the evening and in a while I am going out to eat with two good friends…maybe three if CB okays the idea of having another along. Yes, this past week has been chaotic and totally an up and down week but I am still here — survived it all. I did have some good points of my week too of course. Evening is upon us here in Wisconsin shortly as the day turns into night — giving it another day ahead. My phone has somewhat rung off the hook but it has been all in business related stuff and so on. Honestly, this past week, with my telephone ringing off the hook, it has sent my nerves into a nervous frenzy that teetered onto the edge of breaking me down to endless tears. Then, as the week continued onward to its final day — the seventh day — getting rid of some stuffed animals just practically killed me so a good friend of mine helped box up my stuffed animals and store them someplace in his parents home until this summer. Getting rid of stuffed animals was not an idea of mine I can even think of following through. I had gotten rid of the bed in the living room for reasons I did not need it anymore and it was just cumbersome to have it and then again I wanted my living room a living room again … not a bedroom/living room combination. All the stuffed animals I have, now boxed and put away, are very special to me and ALL of them have special purpose in my life, my world, even though I am still 38 years old. Stuffed animal collecting is one of my fun activities in life. I will go through my stuffed animals one day very soon and see what ones are worth giving away to kids who really need or want a stuffed animal of their own. I do feel great at heart that someone got the bed I gave to the Salvation Army the other day.
I do have a lot more to day but only so little time to say it right now. I will be back later tonight to finish my thoughts before they eat my right up inside. Dinner is in prospect here shortly.
This week so far may not have been one of the best weeks I have ever played or lived but it was one of those weeks lived no matter if I liked it or not. Life went on no matter what this week has come to at this point in time. I am not complaining or worried because then it just gives a time to vent or say what I nee to say in order to get anything out of my mind and soul before it eats me alive and I lose sleep over it. Believe it or not, there was one night this week so far I have lost sleep but I believe I have recovered from it fine and surely even though I am not sure of what direction I am heading. It is one of those times that have come to be unforeseeable and was not all too pleasant. I am still alive and lived through it, and no marks upon me except a heart that feels heavy with a burden I am yet not sure what to do, and I have been praying to God to find an answer. I am waiting patiently … as patient as I will with the week that I have lived so far. But there have been some good things as well, of course…and those things were planned and still in the works since there is a couple of days left this week yet to play so my week has not been a total disaster or a place of total disarray if there is such a thing as chaos these days. Yes, my week was sort of chaotic that I did not even want my living skills coordinator over on Tuesday and I did not want to go to my counseling appointment but knew that if I did go, it would be of more help than anything so I went to my appointment. I even got out of my apartment for a couple of hours yesterday and will be gone tomorrow for a while in the evening sharing time with two good friends of mine.
I did have a friend over for a while tonight as well so once again my week has not been a total disaster but definitely chaotic. On Tuesday and Wednesday, a good friend of mine took my living room bed out of here and took it to the Salvation Army so someone else can have a nice bed after I used it for 11 years and just do not need it or want it anymore. I had talked to MEE and he told me that my bed already had a sold sign on it yesterday when he took the last part of the bed to the Salvation Army, and I personally I was a tad bit shocked because it was sold so quickly but then my heart went into a patter putter time because I know whoever bought it will enjoy the bed very much and it will serve the person well as the bed did me all these years of 11 I have had it. With the bed out of my living room now, it definitely looks like a living room now instead of a bedroom/living room. It looks nicer in here.
So I guess I can say there has been some good out of this chaotic week…praise the Lord.
It has been one of those weeks…that’s all, and I will be absolutely fine. God has blessed me along the way. Oh yeah…got rid of some books too and plan to get rid of more in the next few days for the Salvation Army or Goodwill stores.
Yep, I am changing my tune a little bit but I am still me.
I am very tired now and I am going to bed. I will return tomorrow.
A lot did happen today. Giving my bed away so someone is going to be coming to pick it up tomorrow so I took care of everything to get the bed ready to eliminated from my living room for good. Along with that, I realized that I have a lot of stuff so I am eliminating some stuff from my life. Right now my apartment is in a disarray but very livable .. but not for long. I did have company for a while this afternoon before I got ready for the night. I have an appointment tomorrow so I am retiring to bed here very shortly. My Monday was a little chaotic.