8/13 – The Blahs For Some REASON!

I just do not know what to think right now — I am feeling blah…meaning emotional and just wanting to cry my eyes out. Every time I am not busy, I end up thinking about that one phone call I had gotten the other night when RB was spending the night and the message that HI left was not pleasant to my ear or taste. Honestly I wish that some people would just get the message to leave me alone if I do not call them or do not return any of their messages. I have been emorionally free of HI for two months now and then the other night she broke the silence by trying to call but failed to get me because I will not talk to her anymore for personal reasons that she has no part of as my decision not to ever talk to some people in my life now-a-days is a choice I have rightfully made for myself to keep me sane in such an insane world. HI really set off my emotional triggers and I just can not calm them down. Do I have to change my telephone number again and make sure it is unlisted this time and I never give my number out to anyone ever again except for family members? It may have come to that … AGAIN! I wish people would just leave me alone sometimes. None of my DD friends have gotten me this upset ever yet and I know no one will here. I just block people out of my life if I think that the influence is bad anyway and I have done so with a few bloggers/diarists here so far. I have been here far too long to leave here.

I am having the blahs right now and I can not imagine why…and that is a scary thing — a very scary thing. More later … after I take care of myself. Bye for now.

8/13 – My Final Thoughts of the Day

The end of my day has come to a close. Bing and I have a busy day tomorrow dog sitting before noon tomorrow. My neighbor has to take her boyfriend to the doctor otomorrow morning for some kind of test but otherwise Bing and I would have had a morning and afternoon to 4 p.m. alone giving each other attention. No big deal really. I really like Bear a lot, though. Bing does too actually after Bear stops whining for his master after she drops him off and leaves, lol. Bing and Bear get along fine otherwise thankfully. I help my friend every Thursday night until her class is over with in a couple of weeks or so.

Not much has really happened since I had written. Did not have CD come up tonight after all because my neck hurt enough to just be alone and complain in my own hurting mind. I feel a bit better since my last entry of the day was written but I do believe that being a woman is the reason for my downswing instead of an upswing feeling right now. I did not do much today except play on the computer all day long just to pass away time for once. Played games at myyearbook.com all day long and want to return but will wait until tomorrow if the weather is decent and not storming like the weather says it is supposed to do tomorrow for the most part of the day. No big deal really. I am getting used to storms again after a young childhood experience being afraid of loud noises such as thunder claps, sirens from police and fire trucks, and noises coming out of handmade cannons in parades. Got past the fear of sirens but not handmade cannon noises. Still hate them with a passion even though I understand the significance of cannons and their meaning in wartime. Sometimes I feel like such a baby, lol even though I am not a baby. Just not used to certain noises. Oh yeah, forgot, I enjoy fireworks now more so than when I was a child myself. I have combatted a lot of my fears in most cases. Still afraid of balloons, too, though. Dang!

Well, anyway, Bing is right here on the desk laying and being a cute cat as he lays here. I am going to sign off here in a second by saying good night and God bless to all my friends here at Dear Diary. Television is soon to be shut off and going to bed here to read for a bit or lay and watch the light show in my bedroom from my Glade light show thing I had gotten a long time ago. I love it and it also relaxes me as well. I think Bing wants to have some cuddling time. Good night my dear DD friends.