Thoughts for July 20

July 20, 2008
12:30 a.m. – 1:44 a.m.

Ok, I was young and once or twice in love with a man, or so I thought at a younger age. To be honest here, I was and still am lacking some emotional understandings of life itself. At one point, my world was thought to have a man in my life to be happy to fill the gaps of what was missing, but today I do not feel that way because I have grown up enough to realize what is realistic and not realistic for me. I still have some troubles with understanding life itself, but I do not give up that easily to understand something of great importance and letting go of what is not important. Personally, to be honest, I do wish that one person in particular in my life I have known since I was in my twenties was more than just my best buddy or best friend but I do ACCEPT our relationship as is because our lives are perfect as they are, and God has plans for me somewhere. Okay, I am feeling like I am straddling the fence of decision here but I am speaking true of my own, pounding heart of love and patience, and compassion.

First of all, one might ask “why is she, this woman bringing up such a personal thought up? Well, that can be happening because she has an idea as to why , and it is not of jealousy, but of concern. If I find out later that it is jealousy, I will just scream so loud to shatter the silence around me for a while! I am concerned that someone, who has been in my life for almost 3 years now, has found love too quickly or does not understand the meaning of true love. A couple of red flags popped upped immediately when she has told me that her man/boyfriend is looking at houses on the market for him, his son, and her, and the fact that her boyfriend just broke it off with his girlfriend before going out with this person I am deeply concerned about, and he is on the rebound. Feels high schoolish to me and when a person is on the rebound it means to many people trouble in paradise. Something smells very fishy about this whole idea and my cat Bing does not even eat fish! DANG!

July 20 – What Happened With Today?

I can easily answer that question … slept through the entire morning and 4 hours of the afternoon not waking up until 4 p.m. from going to sleep last night. My bedroom is a good sleeping spot now — maybe even too good of a sleeping spot now-a-days really, lol. I feel okay. It is probably so because my monthly is ending now and my hormones are not raging like they have been for the past couple of days. I am surprised I am not overtired or undertired … undertired would be an understatement, I think, lol. So I slept the day away practically, but I am okay, seriously. It was just another lazy Sunday for me all day long and I did enjoy the most part of my waking hours. That is why I am up so late now going on 11:15 p.m. here in Wisconsin. All is fine in Wisconsin right now but we are expecting more storms tonight and Monday, and I have my day cut out for me and everything is pretty much set in stone for Monday — waking up at 8:30 a.m. or so, doing my dishes, getting dressed for the day, Bible study at 10:30 a.m., laundry after noon, and making sure my apartment is tip top shape for Tuesday so I can get out of here and go to lunch and shopping with LB at Wal-Mart. Woo Hoo! I am EXCITED! If Tuesday came any faster, I believe I would be unable to breathe very good, lol. But Monday has to come first, that’s for sure. Anyway, that is about it for today. Gotta run. My laptop is downloading something right now and it is almost finished so I need to tend to that right now. I am going to say good night and come back tomorrow.