Honestly … sick and tired of guilt trips

On June 24, 2008, at midnight I had gotten a phone call that disrupted the rest of my night. As a matter of fact, I had just gotten into bed after my company left, and was about to get to sleep when my phone rang. At first I thought it may have been my friends who had just left 45 minutes earlier wanting to say good night to me but it was KW calling me. I was tired and ready to fall asleep and I did not like the way this phone call was heading or going. I felt I had lost 45 minutes of sleep by this time and it did indeed turn out to be that way by the time we hung up. She was all upset and not happy because I did not invite her to graduation or even send out invitations. I had then realized that KW was driving me down Guilt trip and i was pissed off. Very pissed off! I will not be going out of my way to call her anymore, seriously. I am done with her. I am done with the negativity and the bull crap that is played all the time while I try talking to her. It is like talking to a brick wall sometimes because she has so many people over at her place now and then and practically everyday. I am sick and tired of being on the sidelines and I am done playing her games. I am fed up with the guilt trips she has played. I have been hurt by her more than enough times while on guilt trip road, seriously.

Time is FLYING By These Days

Where in the world is June going? Where in the world has the days and nights come and gone. I have been so busy lately that it is driving me a little nutty at times because one minute its such a time and then another minute or two, or it seems like it anyway, it is an hour or two later. Had friends over Sunday and Monday night so I slept in the living room on the bed, but that was one hard thing to do. I have trained myself to sleep in the bedroom for one week and two night out in the living room threw my pattern out of whack. It’s a good thing, too. I was glad to have my bed back in my bedroom, believe me, but it was VERY nice to have my friends over. I do have to talk to JW about smoking on the property the next time I talk to her because she was caught smoking on the premises by the manger the other day and I did tell her that it was not allowed on the property more than once. I was a little unhappy about it, that’s for sure. I am not about to break a rule that has been enforced in 2006. I do not even smoke but still I would not break a rule where I live. Been here ten years now. This is my home now. I may not always be happy living here but if I keep to myself, I am definitely much happier in my own place. Visiting with other people … is like taboo around here lately anyway.

So much has happened from the 21st on to the present day (today) that I do not even know where to begin exactly. I do have to admit that the other night, after two wonderful days of feeling real good and happy, I was bothered by a phone call around midnight – someone had called me and told me that she was hurt because I did not invite her to my graduation after all she had helped with in finding the school, and she was deeply hurt by it. Honestly, to tell the truth, I did not even send out invites or call anyone in particular about going to graduation except for three people due to transportation. This person could have waited but when I am hurting and need someone to talk to right away, I do not care about time myself. I just a little unhappy having to have received a call at the hour because I so tired and kind of out of it and not asleep yet due to the fact that my company had left about a half an hour or so earlier. I was glad to be back in my bedroom by then, and the sacrifice of the bedroom was worthwhile even though I kind of complained. It was alright.

My dad visited from AR today for a little bit. We had lunch at Burger King. He was hungerin’ for a whopper, silly man, and so we ate at BK. It was alright but I did not eat my entire fish burger and Fries, or drink all my pop. Diet Coke is alright but I do prefer Diet Pepsi. Had a wonderful, but short visit with my dad. Got dressed up in my cap and grown, tassle, and stole for Dad and had a couple of pictures taken with Dad. Dad did not make it to my graduation so I thought it would be fun to include him on the excitement that still was raging in my mind since June 21st. I was GLAD to include him. Got a graduation gift of money of course so now I have to find what I need or want around here, which is more a need than want, and spend my graduation money, lol. I could care less about the money … the people I care about more … very deeply more.

Today, I feel that I have been so busy that my world is spinning so fast but I think I am keeping up for now. It was a busy week for me and I am looking forward to this weekend more than anything — planning on going to church.

I will be back later…