Some Words Before June is Completely For a Year

Well my friends … June is pretty much gone and July begins tomorrow; All is good and I will be going to be here in a few minutes after I finish writing here. I am tired and Bing and I need to cuddle for a while. Had company for supper again tonight because my friend CD got back from her trip to see Judy Garland’s home, two of the munchkins that were in the movie Wizard of Oz, and she had a great time. However, CD came home and found some bad news … a friend of hers had passed away after 4 1/2 years battling cancer so CD is a little sad right now; Wanted her to join me for supper … my treat tonight and I think we had loads of fun. Gotta love CD.

Tomorrow I have my cleaning lady over around 9:30 a.m. Am I looking forward to her coming? Yes and no — the no part being that I do not want too much company tomorrow for some reason. Have been so busy that I kind of forgot how peaceful it is without company but then I get too lonely and down. I will be okay. I have another busy week this week filled with appointments. Hope this week is nice. Today was not too bad.

I really do not have a whole lot to say right now .. tonight. Getting tired and need some sleep. I am going to say good night and go to my bedroom now. Later days!

Time For Me

I have had my company for the evening over to share supper with me. She left a while ago and now I am having time for me. Not really a whole lot happened today. Just watched my recorded television programs for a while and decided, after my company to watch a recorded Doctor Who and then wash my hair so it will be ready to work with tomorrow morning before church, and then I can sleep in a bit and get the sleep I need to survive my three hours away from home after 8:30 a.m., and then come home to do what I want or need to do or both if it can be done. Bing is sleeping in the recliner right now and I am seriously thinking about going to my bedroom earlier than usual tonight and do some reading a little more than I am used to in a night or even a day. For the past couple of days or so now I have read a book titled “The Waiting Room” and I finished reading it earlier today. Good book for horror written in the 80′s. No nightmares thankfully. Now, I have, seriously, decided to read a book that was published in 1977 titled “The Messenger”. Sounds like a good book but haven’t started yet but I am hunkering to start it tonight. Hopefully no nightmares, lol.

I am seriously thinking of what I am going to do tomorrow after church but my plan is to do laundry on Monday sometime. I believe I have enough quarters to do a couple of loads anyway. Tomorrow is another day of just chilling out again. Have another fairly busy week this coming week, and I am looking forward to it to some point. Tomorrow begins a new week of something and I just have to grin and bear it for now.

Not much going on right now. I no longer have a big fan as the cord tore right in half where it was broken before because of stupid me tripped over it so now I have good reason to go to Wal-Mart and get a new fan with my graduation money I got from my parents, and I was seriously hoping to save it for something else in reality, but it is important for me to have a big fan to help with the circulating of air in my apartment. I have two small working fans, table fans, that work just fine to drown out any noise I wish not to hear or have rushing through my brain. I am fairly cool enough in my bedroom for once this summer — now I wonder why in the world I have decided to sleep out in the living room in the first beginning two years ago. Big mistake or the wrong kind of bed … who knows really. I surely don’t. God does, though. Anyway, I have my bedroom back to order, and I seem to always come back to that bedroom ordeal don’t I? Anyone sick of hearing about it yet? I am still in awe about my new sleeping arrangements and now I seriously think that I should not have changed my sleeping arrangements two years but did then. Oh well.

I really do not know what else to say or write about tonight. I am beginning to see that my diary entries are becoming long again but I can not really say if they are happy entries or not because I really do not take the time to read them after they are written but do read them as I wrote them the day of. i am glad to be feeling emotionally better and along with that, I have been keeping to myself these days and staying out of trouble where I live so I am not blamed for anything I did not do. Where I live today it has become to the point that when one thing is taken care of, another something pops up and problems brew among tenants and other people. I believe that this building has a hold of everyone to some point and it seems to be another soap opera situation after another as well. Life here has been carefully watched. I have two soap operas that I enjoy watching, when I have the chance, but don’t watch many of them because I feel that real life is a permanent soap opera in the reality of life. I just pretty much stay close to myself and have specific people at my place for certain reasons. I am living a real soap opera world right here. Not much more to say, really, or is there? Gossip and rumors hurt people and just never quits here and I have been a survivor of such being said and heard about me since I have lived here. I am not in the mood anymore to take crap from people, and my world is my private place today and always. I put up with guff more now than I have in the past.

The situation that happened on Tuesday night, the eve my friends left after spending two nights here, I had gone to bed and I was so tired and waiting for a beautiful day inside my own place, when I had gotten a phone call at midnight. That phone call disturbed me enough during the hour it was made that my sleep was deprived for a while, and I was glad that Wednesday was a no appointment or plans made day. On Thursday I was seriously thinking of telling my dad what happened but decided against it because it would have brought on a negative conversation between us both so not telling dad what was going on, was the best thing for me to do. Anyway, I did not have a lot of time with my dad, just a lunch date at Burger King, and a quick gab session before he had to leave for an appointment someplace. I was too excited, even though the time was very short, to see my father anyway. This past week has been an emotional, good, blessed week, even though Tuesday night could have ended better, sorry to say. I do not except phone calls after 10 p.m. anymore unless the person who is calling has been asked to call after 10 p.m.. Anyway, this person who was upset about not being invited to my graduation is pretty much over it now anyway. At least I truly hope so. I did not intend to hurt this person intentionally. That is not my heart and soul then, if you know what I am talking about.

This time for me is kind of cool if you ask me. It really brings out the ramblings in my head that can come rushing in. I sometimes do not make sense but then again this is my diary and I have been told many a time to write my feelings and get them out in the open, and I feel I have done so, also feeling that I have kept some of the feelings to myself for personal reason and not for gain. I better go for now and get ready for bed. I have a fairly big morning tomorrow and then I have an afternoon of what I need or want to do. Good night.

A Quick Note

I do love Chronicles of Narnia. I do have the series in books and now in audio book so I can have the story read to me at any given time on my IPod. I love my IPod, but I do not have much room on it now — almost filled up. I am listening, while online here, to the Magician’s Nephew right now. It is awesome. I will be retiring for the night soon though. Good night everyone!!!

Thanks for those who posted a comment tonight. Love ya guys very much and do have a blessed weekend! Gotta love C.S. Lewis!!!

Evening Thoughts for June 27, 2008

Today was a lazy day for me even though I did go to the credit union to get a couple of checks cashed from my graduation. The television was on a little earlier than usual today but it has not really dampen my routine I created for the ;past few days. Today, as a Chronicles of Narnia series fan, I downloaded the Chronicles of Narnia audiobook so now I can be read to and enjoy the story being read to me. It was not a lot of money as I expected and I believe that it was worth it. I talked briefly to my dad’s wife to let her know that I cashed their check that they have given me for graduation and she commented on the pictures of my graduation pictures that were taken. I really thought that was pretty awesome. I personally wish that my father was still in the city but he is up north with his brother right now. That’s okay, though. I know my dad will come again when he has a chance the next time he travels. He is an awesome guy. Of course, he’s my dad.

I do not know if we are really going to have a thunderstorm or not because the weatherman has been saying that we have been expecting thunderstorms for the past couple of days and nothing really happened. I do not believe in the weatherman much anymore. I more so believe in nature and God and that is what I go by these days. In that case, I am not sure if I will be online tomorrow as I would like to be but ini that case I will write my journal entries by hand and record them later when I have the chance. I still want to talk about my graduation that happened this past Saturday but I am holding back on doing so because of the fact that I have a friend who got so upset at the fact that I did not even send out invitations or even inviting her. I felt, Tuesday night, after having the two best days of my life, had gotten a call at midnight because my friend could not wait until morning at more decent hour to talk to me about it. I was so tired that I just wanted to go to sleep and sleep was not found yet, and after that phone call, I could not sleep very well. It was just a rough night for me and being tired was one problem of mine. Some people do not have the decency to be kind sometimes. I believe if my friend waited until morning, the conversation would have been a little more welcomed in my book. I do not make calls after 10 p.m. anymore. Some people say they are your friends but friends do not play the guilt trip game, do they? I am not allowing ANYONE to control anymore and that is how I felt that night AFTER that “could have waited phone call” I will talk about my graduation sooner or later, though….I promise. Just can’t right now.

It seems that time has not really escaped me today — did not go by very quickly at all. Watched a little TV of recorded programs. I have been into Doctor Who starring David Tennant. The Ghost Whisperer starring Jennifer Love Hewitt, Law & Order: SVU. CI, and L&O, and CSI. CSI Miami, and the Closer, Cold Case. and not watching while it is on … recorded to watch later in the week or when I have time. The TV has not been of great interest these few days for some reason and I am NOT going to find the answer to my new routine. I will be retiring to bed shortly anyway. The TV was on a little earlier than usual today as I watched recorded programs, and then at its normal routine schedule, and bed to read in a little bit. It is almost 9 p.m. now and that is my bedroom time to read, play games, or do my crossword puzzles. As a matter of fact, I have not done a crossword since Tuesday while traveling to Chicago for the day to go to the Museum of Science and Industry. That day was fun but I was so tired and ready to go to bed but had to stay up to say good bye to my friends who stayed over Sunday and Monday. Company is nice but it is also nice to get back to my routine after a couple of days. Sleeping in the living room was not easy for me this week … but done.

Gotta run now. Maybe tomorrow if weather is willing; Good night and God bless.

Friday Afternoon Thoughts…

I do have to admit that today is very slow and I feel like my hours are crawling like snails and my world is just lazy like; Did get to the credit union this morning, thanks to a dear friend of mine, and that is all that I did today, and now I am just sitting here at home, being lazy … on the computer, reading, and what else you think of on a day like today. I downloaded the Chronicles of Narnia audiobooks today and now I am going to enjoy being read to. It is only 3 p.m. in the afternoon here so I will be back, if the weather is good, to write more, but really, I do not have anything to do today. I had a busy week and now it is my time with Bing, of course, lol. Gotta run for now. Back to reading.

Honestly … sick and tired of guilt trips

On June 24, 2008, at midnight I had gotten a phone call that disrupted the rest of my night. As a matter of fact, I had just gotten into bed after my company left, and was about to get to sleep when my phone rang. At first I thought it may have been my friends who had just left 45 minutes earlier wanting to say good night to me but it was KW calling me. I was tired and ready to fall asleep and I did not like the way this phone call was heading or going. I felt I had lost 45 minutes of sleep by this time and it did indeed turn out to be that way by the time we hung up. She was all upset and not happy because I did not invite her to graduation or even send out invitations. I had then realized that KW was driving me down Guilt trip and i was pissed off. Very pissed off! I will not be going out of my way to call her anymore, seriously. I am done with her. I am done with the negativity and the bull crap that is played all the time while I try talking to her. It is like talking to a brick wall sometimes because she has so many people over at her place now and then and practically everyday. I am sick and tired of being on the sidelines and I am done playing her games. I am fed up with the guilt trips she has played. I have been hurt by her more than enough times while on guilt trip road, seriously.

Time is FLYING By These Days

Where in the world is June going? Where in the world has the days and nights come and gone. I have been so busy lately that it is driving me a little nutty at times because one minute its such a time and then another minute or two, or it seems like it anyway, it is an hour or two later. Had friends over Sunday and Monday night so I slept in the living room on the bed, but that was one hard thing to do. I have trained myself to sleep in the bedroom for one week and two night out in the living room threw my pattern out of whack. It’s a good thing, too. I was glad to have my bed back in my bedroom, believe me, but it was VERY nice to have my friends over. I do have to talk to JW about smoking on the property the next time I talk to her because she was caught smoking on the premises by the manger the other day and I did tell her that it was not allowed on the property more than once. I was a little unhappy about it, that’s for sure. I am not about to break a rule that has been enforced in 2006. I do not even smoke but still I would not break a rule where I live. Been here ten years now. This is my home now. I may not always be happy living here but if I keep to myself, I am definitely much happier in my own place. Visiting with other people … is like taboo around here lately anyway.

So much has happened from the 21st on to the present day (today) that I do not even know where to begin exactly. I do have to admit that the other night, after two wonderful days of feeling real good and happy, I was bothered by a phone call around midnight – someone had called me and told me that she was hurt because I did not invite her to my graduation after all she had helped with in finding the school, and she was deeply hurt by it. Honestly, to tell the truth, I did not even send out invites or call anyone in particular about going to graduation except for three people due to transportation. This person could have waited but when I am hurting and need someone to talk to right away, I do not care about time myself. I just a little unhappy having to have received a call at the hour because I so tired and kind of out of it and not asleep yet due to the fact that my company had left about a half an hour or so earlier. I was glad to be back in my bedroom by then, and the sacrifice of the bedroom was worthwhile even though I kind of complained. It was alright.

My dad visited from AR today for a little bit. We had lunch at Burger King. He was hungerin’ for a whopper, silly man, and so we ate at BK. It was alright but I did not eat my entire fish burger and Fries, or drink all my pop. Diet Coke is alright but I do prefer Diet Pepsi. Had a wonderful, but short visit with my dad. Got dressed up in my cap and grown, tassle, and stole for Dad and had a couple of pictures taken with Dad. Dad did not make it to my graduation so I thought it would be fun to include him on the excitement that still was raging in my mind since June 21st. I was GLAD to include him. Got a graduation gift of money of course so now I have to find what I need or want around here, which is more a need than want, and spend my graduation money, lol. I could care less about the money … the people I care about more … very deeply more.

Today, I feel that I have been so busy that my world is spinning so fast but I think I am keeping up for now. It was a busy week for me and I am looking forward to this weekend more than anything — planning on going to church.

I will be back later…

Will Get Caught Up

Not much going on right now. Thought it would be okay to get online for a while before retiring to bed. My computer is out in the living room and my television is off for the night. Got up this morning feeling very worn out this morning from yesterday’s walking about at the Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry. It was a beautiful day even though long and my legs proved to be allowed to be pushed to the maximum yesterday and it felt good to push my legs to move the more they were used to. Can feel it in the my buttocks and legs all day long. Slow moving but not allowing my slowness to slow me down. Walked a little bit today to get the stiffness out. Slept in the bedroom last night but ended up getting a call after midnight that disturbed me a little bit. Timing again for a certain person calling me was not good and I did not appreciate it very much — luckily I was able to get to sleep and that I was NOT sleeping yet by the call. I will NOT be accepting any phone calls after 10 p.m. anymore unless I say so differently.

i will get caught up on days i have not written yet but have been busy. As a matter of fact, I am busy tomorrow as my dad will be in town and we are going to lunch. I am excited about seeing him.

Tired

I am tired right now. Did not sleep well last night at all out in the living room while my friends slept in the bedroom. I am so used to my living room being a living room now — nit a bedroom. Tomorrow brings on a busy day for me. I have to get up at 6 a.m. in the morning.

Time Escaped Me

I am noticing that time has escaped me and right now I am wide awake as if I got my second wind. Did go to church yesterday morning, Sunday, and after Sunday School, I went to the church library to check out and see if they had Chronicles of Narnia series, and they did have a couple of the books, the entire series on CD, and the English version of Chronicles of Narnia. I decided to get the audio version of the entire set and the English version on DVD and I did enjoy the movie very much but happen to like the newer version of the stories better because they seem more realistic and the technology and the stories seem to flow better in the newer versions even though, no matter how I see it, Aslan is my most favorite of the story just as Bing is my Aslan in real life. I personally wish that I could sit in the living room of C.S. Lewis and hear about his dreams and stories of Christianity as I believe he would be awesome to hear from directly. When I saw the professor in the story, the version I had watched tonight, I was reminded of someone in my life who is no longer alive anymore, my grandfather because he always believed in things of the real life as well as the fantasy life like I did and still do to some extent of my life Aslan has been a favorite character of mine for a very long time and now with Chronicles of Narnia being a very popular series once again, C.S. Lewis’ stories have roared into my world once more. Even sometimes Bing shares a feature of Aslan. Am I being silly now? Anyway, enough of that, right? LOL

It is Monday morning and usually I am asleep by now and out like a light but I have friends over tonight and they are sleeping in the comfort of my futon tonight and I am out in the living room sleeping or in this case still wide awake to some point. Have not seen Bing for a couple of hours now that silly boy. He has been acting like an injured cat once again now that JW is here. Bing is such a good faker, lol, and he knows he is fooling us because he quits limping about after I tell him he is being such a little faker and he goes on his merry way walking normally. That little stinker. Bing is downright smart, I tell you. I literally called him a little shit tonight a couple of times and laughed at his antics. He is still my Little Man, though, no matter what. After JW leaves, he will be just fine. What a faker he was tonight!! I could just laugh until my sides hurt.

I should now go and try to get some sleep now. I am getting tired even though sleep WILL BE hard to get tonight because I am not in my bedroom that my body has been so used to the past few days. Anyway it is nice to have my friends JW and RB over for the night. RB and I worked more on my bedroom and got ride of a cardboard box and got my closet floor cleared out and stuff put in the closet after arranging that a bit. I looked over some memories from the old cardboard box and put the stuff in a rubbermaid container instead so there was no fire hazard risk. Later we are going to rearrange the living room slightly, too. I am on a roll … at least I hope so anyway.

Gotta run now. Good night or should I say, good morning now?! LOL I have plans today to do some looking at my Chronicles of Narnia on CD and see if I can put them on my computer or my IPod or both. We shall see after I get some sleep …. if sleep will come my way tonight or not. Bye for now.

I will still talk about my graduation. Have it written down on paper as of June 22 but did not write it yet here. I have been busy.