May 8, 2008 – Evening…

Before it becomes midnight in good ol’ Wisconsin here, I better get to my thoughts so I can finally get some sleep and the rest I need. Anyway, I got my errands done this afternoon, thanks to my friend MEE, and was able to come home and relax a bit. I was planning on writing in my journal here earlier but my afternoon got away from me and I did not get the chance to write more earlier. Anyway, before getting to the evening, I have to say, after getting back home from running errands, my afternoon was confusing, nerving, and totally whacked. I was in an emotional state of mind not long after I returned home from running my errands that my thoughts went from one thought to another at random with no ending point, and the tears of frustration and confusion tried to run down my cheeks and failed, thankfully, but crying did try to make its entrance. The tears were hot, angry tears because the thought on “trust” kept rolling in on me without fail, as well as fear of what is going to happen that never happened. The emotions that I have been dealing with the past two days have been negative and unwavering. The trust issue I am having with people right now has found more compromises and trust with some people in my life has to be found again but my heart is becoming cold and hard to a point that I am finding friendship one hard subject to talk about with people just like sex, politics, and religion. I have at least 3 true friends I can count on but that’s all. The other “friends” I have are not in the “true friend” category according to my recent assessment as of this afternoon. Will I change this assessment? Nope. I am intending on walking away from more people and keeping my distance and I am not afraid of walking away from more people just to get away from the negativity and stress so I do not continue to get UTI’s and sick with a nervous breakdown or have anymore anxiety and depression. Enough said here.

Now with evening on its way out, before midnight comes, I am tired but sleep is kind of hard to find. My stomach hurts a little bit but it is a little better than it was a couple of hours ago. JS called me after she returned home for the day and she said I sounded tired and I was tired and am tired, and also my stomach ached a bit. I am excited, 11 hours later, about my glasses coming in a couple of weeks – reminding myself about my errands this afternoon with my friend MEE. Yes, I finally got to take care of my prescription for glasses someplace and got a new pair of frames. I am excited about the new glasses. So very excited! Can’t get my mind off the glasses! DANG!

Better say good night!

May 8, 2008 – Morning …

flower 2

Not much is happening yet. Just woke up around 8 a.m. in a groggy state and right leg beginning to cramp. Bing and I snuggled together for awhile and slept a little longer or at least laid on the bed. I have plans for after noon hour but I have to wait for MEE to call me first as I have a couple of errands to run today. Have to get my prescription for glasses taken care of and get quarters for laundry. The past couple of days have been emotional for me and if I keep myself busy I do not dwell on the emotional stuff that has been going on where I live. I have gotten to the point in my life and I have said and thought this many times before that I will not associate with some people where I live anymore just to relieve the stress … or will it create more stress?? It better not or I will definitely make plans to move out of here and get away from everyone in here and never give it a second glance back. Living in an apartment complex really stinks sometimes. For a while now, for the past 24 to 48 hours, this apartment of mine has not been a home to me at all. If anyone knocks at my door while I am home today, I won’t answer the door. I need more “me” time. Later…