Changes are Going to Be Made — More of Them

I have been dealing with some issues and those issues are very personal and private and may not all be shared here for good reason. I have had to walk away from friends and walking away from friends is something I have not done before until the beginning of the year. I know who my “true” friends are and those friends are here to stay and those friends know who they are, and it does include my DD friends on my friends’ list, but it is not my friends at DD I am talking about. I am talking about my friends who I see and talk to everyday or close to it. There are some friends who I have considered close and trustworthy but a couple of weeks ago or so now I have come to the realization that maybe some of those friends are not trustworthy anymore so I have been walking away from them to a point, and those friends will have to understand why without me having to explain why because i feel I need to explain myself to no one anymore. My life is my life and my life is to be respected even by me and me alone in most cases. Yes, I have issues to deal with and yes I am going to counseling for my issues, and no, no one has been going to my sessions with me anymore except for my caseworker and that is it for now. I have been told some things that have taken my heart right out of me and has been stepped on out of spite or anger and I have told myself I do not need friends like that but it has bothered me to the point that tears have been shed and I have not shared anymore of my feelings with many people like I have done so in the past because it just is not fair to me or to the other people. My problems need to remain where they are — here in my home and if they do not involve someone, that someone is not involved anymore; I also feel I have missed something today but I am not going to worry about it because I need time for myself. There are changes that are going to be made and more of them are going to be changed from this day forward whether my friends like them or not. I know who my “true” friends are and it is going to remain that way for the time being. Let me deal with my own problems and I just ask those who do not respect my feelings, go away and I will deal with you later.

Not Quite But Almost

Ok, Spring colds are just horrible. It is making me feel yucky and worse then it did yesterday and the day before. I have my heat on and I am feeling no heat for once. Took a bath yesterday in the hottest water I can stand and it just got lukewarm in 2 to 3 minutes, and I had to change my water three different times in order to get it to stay hot. The wind, this morning is sounding horrible and fierce but it is only blowing so much. That is what happens when you live on the third floor of TM — it sounds worse than it really is. Not quite but almost in other words. Right now not much is going on. Doing ok. Got up later than usual of course, 9:45 a.m. this morning — no early to bed and early to rise last night and this morning. Bing is laying on the bed right now — good ol’ Bing. Have to take care of his litter box in a while since it has shredded paper in it now — until tomorrow. I am glad to be going back to cat litter myself. Bing just does not like to do his poo jobs in the literbox right now because he has a litter pan liner in the litter box right now and he does not like litter pan liners at all. He wants to see the bottom of the litter box when he goes poopy. Poor Bing! I do feel for him on this little matter….trust me. I have no idea what I am planning on doing today. I do know I am staying home all day long today and not going anywhere today.