Well, what can I say. The past two weeks have been a living nightmare for me because I am still having nightmares about what happened to me on December 21, 2007, and what happened to me then ruined my Christmas along with the New Year. Yes, I am still hurting and still very angry, and not sure if I can exit my own apartment to leave the building yet. This girl, a person who I thought was a friend and would never attack me ever again after last year’s altercation, is no longer a friend and is no longer going to be in my life even if I have to walk away from a few friends who she is now friends with … the girl has really put my name and my reputation on the line in the past two weeks and my dad is not very happy about what happened, either. I have pictures, cell phone text messages from her cell phone to mine, two messages on my answering machine, one that is not very nice at all and then on Christmas Day a message that she wishes me a Merry Christmas using someone else’s telephone when she was NOT to have no contact with me … the police said no contact, her father told her to leave me alone, the management told her to leave me alone, and I am at the end of my rope because she is not listening to no one. She won’t even listen to me.

Tonight we are having a New Year’s Eve Party from 9 p.m. t0 1 a.m. and I will not be going to it because of the fact that this so-called friend is going to be there and I do not want anything to do with this person ever again. I am not even going to go to a Christmas party on January 4 because this girl is going to be there. She can not be in my space right now because I am afraid of her attacking me again. How pitiful is that? Very pitiful if you ask me.

In regards to what has happened to me on Friday, December 21, 2007, I will never give my key out to anyone ever again as Jennie has overstepped her bounds with entering my apartment when she was told to leave me alone. I do have to admit that I had learned earlier, last night, that Jennie has confessed to the manager that I did not hit her as she has been telling everyone around here that I did hit her and she is the very person who beat me up. I promise, all my DD readers, my key is not to be given to her again. Thank you for taking the time to read my entries the past couple of days.

Right now I am in the midst of changing the outlook of my diary here at DD for personal reasons and for something to do. I have had one helluva weekend that has caused my emotions to be real bad as I still reeling from being physically attacked by a person I thought was my friend but isn’t anymore after Friday’s physical altercation. I had no plans for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and if I did have any plans made, I would have canceled them and stayed home alone with my cat Bing anyway because my emotions are still reeling from what happened Friday morning early afternoon. No, I did not have the greatest Christmas this year as this Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. were both tear filled and a lot of tears and crying has been going on. I have been unable to dream good dreams the past two days and the dreams I have been having is the altercation that happened on Friday. Even my throat is sore from screaming at the top of my lungs along with my voice is hoarse from the screaming. My throat is so sore that it feels like something has been scraping along the walls of my throat until they are raw. Bruises on my left leg is the same way, feeling like someone took a grate to my leg and scraped the skin off to its raw nature along with a graying that proves that I have been kicked to a pointless reason except for the fact that I was trying to escape the wrath of my attacker but couldn’t…Honestly, I can not say that my Christmas was perfect because it wasn’t. I can not lie.

I have gotten six text messages from my attacker by Saturday morning and the problems does not end there.

Just like last year, I ended up being a victim to physical abuse of being hit and kicked by someone who I thought was my friend but learned the hard way, it is not so. Yes, this very person who I had a physical altercation with last year was the same person I had another physical altercation with. It all started because she opened her big mouth when she should have kept it shut and the manager of the building told her to not bother me and let me cool down and don’t go up to my place right then. Well, she did not listen to the manager and she came up and let herself into my apartment with the key that I had trusted her with once again and when I told her to leave and leave the key on my kitchen table she shut the door and locked it saying no and then I remember sitting on my bed and she was coming closer and I was so scared at this point that the only defense I had was to scream at the top of my lungs because she was trying to pull my head and hair, and hit me in the face with a fist that had a stack of keys in it. The glasses on my face were thrown off cockeyed on my face and the set of keys hit my nose and pulled off my glasses. I continued to scream at the top of my lungs while defending myself from her attacks. I finally found a way to get off the bed as I tried to get to my apartment door to get out but she had pushed and kicked me away from my own apartment door, so I sat down back on my bed feeling defeated and scared. By then, the door locked, the manager and her husband had gotten to my place and opened the door and the manager looked at my attacker and told her she did not listen and her father was going to be called and I told the manager that my attacker had called the police and told the dispatcher that I attacked her first and also called me a fucking retard and bitch. My manager witnessed my attacker throwing my phone down hard on the kitchen table which made the phone and a couple of things fall to the floor, making the phone’s battery cover come off and the phone was in two pieces with the battery dangling from its place with no cover on it holding the battery in place. My attacker said that she did not intend to throw the phone down that hard and the manager told her, yes you did, and told her to leave my place now. Before the manager left my place, I was dumbfounded, scared, shaking, and said that I did not start this fight and she had come right up and in. The manager told me to take five minutes and get my shoes on and come downstairs to the community room. I did just that and got downstairs. A police officer was there by then and the managers husband and my attacker were in the community room. The manager had called my attackers father and told the officer who was speaking to me that her father was on his way and I told my side of the story and the manager collaborated my story that she told my attacker to leave me alone and she did just the opposite, invading my home by letting herself in with the key I had given. I was asked if I got my key back and also told them that I was not going to let have anyone have my key anymore. The police officer also suggested I no longer give anyone my key anymore as well. The police officers left without making any arrests and the problems did not stop there.

What can I really say except the fact that time is going by fast these days. Ever since I have been back from my vacation in PA, time has had no speed except for fast lately. I do not know what to think sometimes, but I guess that’s ok, right? Right. Anyway, today has been a fairly good day even though I am stuck at home right now due to weather conditions outdoors being icy and snow on the ground. I was planning on going Christmas shopping with IDS this morning and out to lunch, but I had gotten a call @ 7:15 a.m. saying that the plans were canceled due to weather conditions so I stayed in bed for a while and slept a little longer — too long as a matter of fact, lol. I am okay though. Time is going by very fast these days. I wish it would slow down somewhat but not slow down to the point that it would feel like it stopped or something like that. I want to be of this world and no other world, ok?

My world today was a very sleepy one. Both Bing and I catnapped on the bed in the living room from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. today together. Yes, Bing slept with me the entire time on my legs comfortable and happy. Having Bing sleep with me all afternoon was a big treat because I believe in most nights I snore him right out of the living room, lol. Anyway, today was not a bad day at all but definitely slow and my body just did not work properly in walking or movement. It is so frustrating having arthritic pain invade my body because it slows me down and causes me to be off balance along with my weight issue and cerebral palsy. I am more embarrassed having balance problems because my weight and physical condition. I want to get rid of my black, four prong cane for good now and forever. I do not use it anyway when I walk from place to place anyway. My friend JS came by earlier today to get online and be with me and Bing for a while, and then company left leaving me and Bing alone for the night. It was a good day today even though I slept all day long practically.

My hair grows fairly fast and I have always had perms because my hair is fine and thin. That fine and thin hair comes from my mother’s mother side of the family, and that is one genetic trait I feel has been a curse of my life. My grandmother always had fine and thin hair and perms never held in her hair for very long, but in my fine and thin hair, perms have held for me. Anyway, a neighbor friend of mine and I went to her sister-in-law’s hair salon to have our hair done. I needed a hair cut badly enough that no more perm was in it and it was getting too long for me. My hair was permed and cut and when it was cut, it was done so shorter than my last perm and cut because it would be easier to take care of for a little longer. After our hair was done, we went to a restaurant nearby our apartment building and had lunch together chatting and having a fine time together. After lunch we ran a couple of errands to the video store and the Dollar General store and believe me, walking was difficult and a trying time for me. I want to get rid of my cane completely now and forever and forget about the cane but this wintry weather has been a pain in the butt for the past couple of days on my arthritic joints. By the time we got done running our errands after lunch, I was so glad to be home to take off my shoes and brace for the day and enjoy my time at home with my cat Bing Crosby before company hopped over for a couple of hours to use my computer and be my company for a while. Sleep has been hard to fine for the past couple of days and I am just ending an UTI and have been taking medication for it…drinking lots of water to flush out the infection along with the medication. This UTI is the fifth one I have had and I do not want anymore this year or next year but my anatomy is telling me differently these days, yuck!

I have another UTI and went to the doctor (emergency room) to get it checked out before it got any worse. This UTI is my 5th one this year and it is driving me crazy. What is wrong with my anatomy these days?! I used to get UTI’s all the time as a child and now again as an older adult, and they are driving me crazy having to be put on antibiotics all the time!!! YUCKY! When I shower and bathe, I make sure I am clean in the areas of my body and I do not take bubble baths often — only once in a great while. It is embarrassing to have UTI’s as they are uncomfortable and painful to the degree that sleep is very hard to find during that time of discomfort. I hate them with a passion. I don’t want anymore UTI’s this year or even next year!! I have a very busy life and my days and nights are not always in connection with other people getting me from one place to another!!! I hate it relying on people to get me from one place to another when I do not drive myself.

I have another UTI and went to the doctor (emergency room) to get it checked out before it got any worse. This UTI is my 5th one this year and it is driving me crazy. What is wrong with my anatomy these days?! I used to get UTI’s all the time as a child and now again as an older adult, and they are driving me crazy having to be put on antibiotics all the time!!! YUCKY! When I shower and bathe, I make sure I am clean in the areas of my body and I do not take bubble baths often — only once in a great while. It is embarrassing to have UTI’s as they are uncomfortable and painful to the degree that sleep is very hard to find during that time of discomfort. I hate them with a passion. I don’t want anymore UTI’s this year or even next year!! I have a very busy life and my days and nights are not always in connection with other people getting me from one place to another!!! I hate it relying on people to get me from one place to another when I do not drive myself.