To Suffering Servant

I would like to personally thank you for saying what you said in reply to my last entry here. Your words have touched my heart that my heart jumped a familiar beat of gratitude. Ever since my eye surgery on June 7th, it has been very difficult for me to tear and cry. Yes, my eyes tear normally, but my eyes ache to cry real hard and the doctor told me the reason why it is so is because my eyes are now strong again and the muscles have been placed in their proper place for me to be able to see straighter in both eyes. He also told me that it will feel strange for a while yet too. I can not wait until July 25, 2007 for another check up since the surgery, and I also can not wait until July 17, 2007 ecause I am going to get my eyes tested again to get new glasses. Anyway, with the situation that is at hand here…I would like to thank you personally for your prayers. This building needs a lot of prayer right now. It is the young versus the old around here and that makes me want to cry, scream, and holler at the top of my lungs the ache my heart feels. I have been taught to respect my elders and believe me, at the moment, my respect for my elders is very limited and very few now. I do not trust this neighbor anymore and I wish he would just leave me alone. He is probably going on with the baloney he is doing because he is getting a rise out of it and enjoying the fact that he is annoying me. I think that is wrong and stupid, and even downright cruel. What do you think?

To Suffering Servant & DD Friends

I would really like to let you all know that I appreciate your thoughts on my diary here and believe me, my heart is happy to know all of you. I do have to admit that the situation at hand SS has commented to has not yet been taken care of as I know at this very moment, and I know God is probably not to happy with me at the moment because I have been swearing up a storm because I have been so angry and so upset about the situation with this particular neighbor. Learning that this neighbor does not like young people or animals has really upset me the most along with his thumping, spreading gossip that I am the one who is making the noise in my apartment and such, and the fact that he has been told more than once things and he just does not listen to anything the manager has to say and so he believes what he wants. Does he not realize that the trouble has been causing here, some of the trouble is not geared at me, can cause a major problem or even the boot for him if he does not stop acting like a child? Apparently not if it has not penetrated his skull even the slighest. I have shed many tears in the past couple of weeks that make my eyes ache at night and during the day because of the crap that has been going on below me and two stories below me. Doesn’t this man who has caused so much trouble realize that he is lying through his teeth? God is probably not happy with him, either! I do admit that I have been swearing up and down using words that have been not pleasant but I have been hurt very badly here emotionally to the point that I just do not know what to do anymore except stay locked up in my apartment for a while and not venture out unless I have to again in order to keep myself away from such a jerk as my downstairs neighbor and his so-called girlfriend who defends him every which direction. I can not even pray for a man who has been giving me grief the past couple of weeks because I find it useless because I am so very hurt by all this crap that is going on. I am so mad that I can not cry anymore. I am so mad that I my heart even aches. What else can I do?