For the past few days now since I have been writing off and on in my journal and going to a friend’s journal, DD has been taking its time to load its pages. Why is that? Are there a lot of people on at the same time or is it my server being slow?? Oh well! Life seems to be living very slowly lately and I just do not know what to do with my slow life right now except live my life I do have and mind my own business. So what if DD is being slow loading its pages right now … I have been coming and going here for a long time now and who knows what my schedule will be like in a couple of days in my new class that starts on Tuesday morning.
I just want to scream and cry! Today has been on heck of an emotional day for me. I do know that I cried a little bit today because I felt the tears come to my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I just do not understand some people and those some people seem to not have respect for other people sometimes and that makes me want to strangle some necks. This morning at coffee time I do have to admit that I wanted to tell someone to shut up and strangle her neck because another someone was not having coffee with us (I did not have any coffee) was not there to defend himself. Also, another someone came into the coffee time complaining about a certain veternarian, the very veternarian I go to along with my friend JS, how he feel he got ripped off and was not going to be paying $200 to have his dog spayed. I have called around and found out that the cost of spaying or nuetering an animal (dog or cat) is practically $200 everyone. I just do not understand people and their little problems anymore. I just want to cry and scream just to get it out of my system but can’t because this is an apartment complex of sleeping people right now and if I screamed at the top of my lungs, a lot of people will wonder what in the world is wrong with me … my bedroom window open and I do not want to ruff my downstairs neighbor’s feather tonight or any night. I just want to cry and scream when crying is definitely been going on for the past few hours off and on. I wish life was not so hard sometimes.
In regards to the private post I had written yesterday, I do have to say thank you so much to SufferingServant and IamNina for their replies. I will write to SufferingServant an email shortly. Nina, I need to thank you for your thoughts because that is all I can do for my neighbor now is to pray. I am, in the meantime, keeping my distance from this neighbor for a while and will be civil to her in public. I do believe she is not feeling well and I also agree because she is not feeling well, her judgment and thinking may be a little cloudy right now but I can not too sure and assuming is no fun. Speculation is not good either. I do not want to assume anything because the facts are not all there right now and where I live today, at Teamster Manor Apartment Complex it has calmed down on the homefront for now … at least I think so … until last night when I had learned from a tenant that another tenant told her and this neighbor I am going to keep my distance from that I had yelled at this one tenant about her slamming the door … finding out that the tenant who called me last night and my neighbor next door I had gone to to ask her not to please slam her door kindly and did not yell at her, do have a problem with overexaggerating stories and fabricating things just to start rumors and gossip. Honestly, I am living in an apartment of babies and whiners and tenants who all have problems. I too have problems but from this day forward, I am asking everyone to please leave their problems at their door, mine is full, lol.
Well my friends, I do have to admit that there was good reason to have excitement in the air today. My eye appointment went very well today … very well. My eyes have not changed in vision since last year and so I have another year with my glasses I had gotten last year. Also, seeing the doctor who did my eye surgery last month also was very impressed with the way the surgery took when he saw me after a month out since the surgery. When he walked into the room, Dr. G saw one smiling and very happy patient looking straight ahead at him with both eyes sparkling with delight and happiness. He looked at the back of the eyes and saw the stitches were completely gone and that everything looked good. After a little check up, I had asked him how long will my eyes stay straight and he told me in return that they will stay straight for a long time. I am ok with his way of thinking, too. I do not have to see Dr. G for six months from now, which makes it a long ways away according to my book but acceptable. I am very happy patient once more.
This entry is going to be for my friends at Dear Diary at the moment. I am in need of advice or comment because of the fact that something is bothering me so badly that it has been a few days since the incident really happened but yet it is tugging at my heart. I feel I have been hurt by someone, a neighbor, a friend of mine so badly that my world seems to crumble into pieces when I even remember such a bad day as the one I had experienced a few days ago. Anyway, what happened a few days ago was the fact that I wanted to talk to a neighbor, that person a friend of mine about why she did not come to me in regards to my hearing the fact that this very person had left the room because me, and finding out that in the same conversation words were heard coming right out of this person’s mouth saying that my friend JS and I were always looking for trouble and that I opened up a can of worms and the fact that, a couple of days later, that my hanging up on this person was unacceptable and there are going to be reprecussions to me hanging up on this person and that it will not happen again, really proved to me that maybe something is wrong with my neighbor, the very person I consider a friend but now can not consider someone I can trust anymore. This happened last week and I feel very troubled over the matter and I feel I have prayed until I am blue in the face but knowing that all my prayers are heard no matter how silly they may seem at the moment of the prayer. Someone help me out by comment and advice please?
I have yet to go to my appoinment and I have an hour and a half before I go. I was up late last night and since I was up late, I thought writing in my journal here would have helped calm some of the anticipation I have been dealing with in regards to this doctor’s appointment I do have. Has it helped? Kind of and sort of. I cannot say it helped entirely because that is all that I thought of all night long and had dreams I can not even explain this afternoon. Honestly, I just feel the anticipation growing inside me that even time has grown on its slowest speed possible driving me to no end in regard to the day I am playing now. I personally wish it would just go away and never come back but at least the anticipation is a good feeling this time around.
Today is one heck of a day for me. Remembering the eye surgery I had last month on June 7th is still on my mind as if it did yesterday. My eyes have been straight for over a month now and today I will be seeing the doctor after a month since the surgery, and there is excitement in the air. Can you believe that there is excitement in the air for me in regard to a doctor’s appoinment in Madison, Wisconsin because of my eyes? I can’t believe it … even to this day I am still in awe with the fact that I can see straight ahead with both eyes instead of looking in two different directions, lol. The fact that I can look straight ahead now has really been an item in my life for a while now and I am still in awe with that fact. The idea of seeing things differently now such as reading from left to right without my eyes going in two different directions, no switch mode anymore, I have not seen double ever and I still do not see double today, and the fact that I think that both eyes work together now is really impressive.
When I get back from my appointment this afternoon, I will write about it then.
Well, it being only Tuesday, my week is going good so far. Had an appoinment with my general doctor yesterday and the appointment went well and fast after he came into the room where I was waiting patiently. Also, I am looking forward to my eye doctor appointment tomorrow since it has been a month out since my eyes were straightened out and the doctor is going to see me after a month out since the surgery. Anyway, today, being only Tuesday, I had a very good day of relaxation and was able to get some of my daily work done here at home and at school. My cleaning lady came by today and we moved a couple of things around in the livingroom. All has been well with my upkeep of the apartment and the only thing that my cleaning lady grumped about was the fact that Bing’s cat box was in need to be changed. If I didn’t oversleep this morning, which I really did, I would have had it done before she got here but didn’t do it until she got here, lol. I was NOT in the mood to argue with my cleaning lady, that’s for sure since everything else was just fine. After she left, I was able to get to school online for a while, getting some things done there before logging off for the rest of the afternoon. My day was pretty relaxing because I was listening to a CD with birds singing to music in the nackground with a few meows along the way, lol. I almost fell asleep at the computer — not the laptop, but my desktop computer, lol …
This morning between 10:30 and 11:10 a.m., I went to go get new tenny shoes because the ones, that are now trashed at the shoe store, were so badly in need to be replaced, and I have a nice pair. I went to Payless Shoe Store and found a pair of shoes, on sale, and liked them immediately. I tried two pairs on and liked the second pair and wore them out of the store, lol. I had to wear my new shoes out of the store because I had my old ones thrown in the trash right there at the store, lol After I went to the shoe store, I was dropped off at home for the rest of the day. I had only one outing and that was fine with me. Now with the time being a little after 1 p.m., the milkman dropped by to see what I wanted from him and I am waiting patiently for my items. Bing, my precious little man of the house, is playing with one of his cat toys I had bought him when I first adopted him a few months ago. The toy he is playing with is a ball with a bell in it and he is having the time of his life with it. I hope I can wear him out so he will sleep all night long instead of during the day but who knows. Bing was a good boy most of the night last night anyway.
I need to go for now and I hope I can come back later.
Ther are two girls talking loud in the library. Aren’t libraries supposed to be quiet?