I thought I would get a quick hello in before it got any later and October 1, 2005 comes into play here for me. Not much going on here really. Been busy with school already on its 4th day of class and believe me, I am busy writing papers and essays again…YEAH! I love writing! Anyway, it is 10:40 p.m. here in good ol’ Wisconsin and it is time for me sign off here and get back to work and soon go to bed.
I have once again been a little absent in writing in my journal/diary here these days because of school. I have been working very hand and believe me when I say I have been busy in and out of school. I feel that my journal writing has had a lot of gaps in-between datees because I have been so busy and too tired to write by the time I am done with class for the day. Honestly, I am glad to be taknig a break from math for five weeeks and in another class based on relgion and believe me, I am happy to have a break with math. In fact, in the next five weeks I am aiming to test out of the next math class with is math 209 and I have two tries to do so and believe me, I am going to be studyong. Right now, I am studying to take a proficiency math exam to test out of math 209 and in my REL I-333 class.
I have definitely vented last night and believe me, I have come to a major decision in my life that will change my life enough to notice the difference. Anyway, one of the thoughts I mentioned was how can I be friends with someone like the person who I mentioned in yesterday’s journal of thoughts. Well, I have decided to not be friends with this person anymore. I will not do things for her, with her, or be with her alone in order to avoid her for good. Yes, to give an update of what I talked about yesterday, I was hurt very badly by this person and I wish to not be friends with her. I do not care if she thinks that I can turn the love I have for others on and off. I know I do not turn my love on and off like a faucet, and God knows as well. Anyway, what happened the other night did make me feel like an idiot. This person I am speaking about, who will remain nameless in my eyes in my journal for good, and I were talking the other night and she was telling me this and that, and when it came to her listening to me, I was wrong. No wonder I am so mad at her for good. She thinks she is better than everyone else. I do not hate anyone but right now I do hate her with a passion and that she needs to get a life. This same person has practically cost me and two friendships, but myself and my two friends were mature enough to talk to each other and work things out no matter how mad we got with each other. This very person will not be a part of my life – personal or professional – any longer – even though she was never in my professional life. I need to take care of myself and walk away from any negativity and this person gives a lot of negative energy around me and all that is around her. I am walking away from this person for good, and that is my decision for good at this time. I know that I ran in circles here but I had a little more to vent.
A Sequel of Yesterday’s Entry
I do not know why I am even friends with certain people when it comes to them hurting others so often and one of the people is myself. I do not get it! It just makes me so mad I want to scream. This one person, during last night’s conversation, made me feel like a total idiot when in reality I know I am not an idiot and believe me this one person needs to get a life and realize what she is doing. I am getting sick and tired of being friendly to this person and saying I love her when in reality she has hurt me so bad. She hurt me a couple of weekends ago and again last night. I am getting sick and tired of this person thinking she knows everything! In fact, I have this horrible feeling that she thinks she’s right and everyone else is wrong unless people go her way. It feels like it is her way or no way at all. This girl is one confusing person and believe me, I am sick of her playing games with me and other people who know her. Why am I even friendly to her? Now I know why I am keeping my diary to close friends at DD instead of going public. These kind of vents, if public, end up getting in the wrong hands, and people end up getting hurt even more so. I am glad I have gone to “friends only” because I can vent a little more openly to those who do read my diary of thoughts and feelings. I must be one mad woman if I allow such a person to walk all over me and get away with it. I do not know how much more I can take of this person and her ways anymore/ She can be a very hurtful person and to me she does not care if she does hurt someone. My life is not hers and she does not have to change it. If this person ever comes between me and a friend again, there might be a lot of problems that could make things even more worse…
Well my friends, it’s time for me to say good night and God bless all of you. Bed is soon to arrive and I am going to get ready for bed now. I hope everyone has a good beginning of the week, and hopefully I will be back tomorrow to write more. Good night and God bless!
I am taking another break from my schoolwork and will be getting back to it later — tomorrow. I am done with math for the evening. I do know that I will be looking off and on in my math class to see if anyone has posted anything but that is as far as I am going to go for now. I am not exactly mathed out right now but am going to take a break for the evening. Anyway, the Aleks website is acting very goofy according to my internet surfing and I am just about ready to shoot the Aleks website to bits and pieces. I am done with my homework for week four now…just waiting for replies on seeing if I did the problem correctly or not or halfway right. Emilee is such a card when it comes to trying to do my school work anyway…she just lays down on my math book or lays on my homework so I can not see it. She just drives me bananas, but she is my pride and joy no matter what. Right now she is laying my homework, and believe me, it is ok right now.
I am ending my lovely little red friend now and I am not so moody like I was for the past two weeks. I have no idea if I am going to take a day off of school tomorrow but right now it does look like it is going to be a day off of school tomorrow as far as math tutoring goes. The reason I think this is going to happen is because of the fact that I am FINALLY getting what I am supposed to do in graphing inequalities – it took practically 2 weeks to get it put into memory. I need to run for now. I should be back later and if not, I am busy working on stuff once again in regards to math.
This weekend has definitely been quiet and low key. I have been working on my homework for the past three hours and decided to take a little break. For some reason, the webpage that I want to work on is not working properly so I am doing what I can at this time with my homework review for the week. Anyway, it has been a quiet weekend and I have been enjoying every minute of it. I did have some trouble waking up this morning but I finally got myself up, bathed, and dressed. My surrogate mom is having a birthday gathering for her daughter today in the community room and I was able to go down there to see her ex-husband and other famiy members for a bit and have a piece of birthday cake. I was able to see my favorite people this afternoon and I am a very happy person today.
My dear friends of DD. I have not been writing in my diary as much as I wish I would but I have been so very busy with school and this math is just killing me! What gets me is the fact that I am beginning to understand addition method and substitution method in equations, but honestly, the graphing of inequalities is getting to me slightly…STILL. That IS WHAT IS KILLING ME! I do not understand why something is NOT getting through to me as quickly as some other mathematics is getting through to me and clicking so quickly. I have had it even though I am not going to give up on math here or never since I am going to be an accountant in the future — the near future. I know, from other classmates, I am not the only one who is struggling in graphing inequalities and solving them. Anyway, I am givig math a break right now so I am going to go to bed for the night.
Now with time getting late, I just wanted to check in and get a little something written even though it is not going to be long. I have had one strange week with good and not so good playing in on the same week from Wednesday to today Sunday. I had spent the night at my friend’s parents place with her and her husband, sister and daughter, and another friend. In fact, I am not even sure if this one person can really be considered a friend the way she treats her friends from time to time and how she makes me and my frieds feel a lot of the time. I have always questinoed my friends as to why they allow this one friend to be the way she is but then again my friends are the ones who have to tell this person to back off and shut up and stop treating her friends like they are stupid, slow, and what else a true friend does not do to another friend. This one person, in my eyes, again has screwed up what friendship I wish to have with her and believe me, this weekend I wanted to give her a good whack along side her head to show her that her so called business needs to stop and maybe she will get the message that a lot of people do not like her because she is got one big mouth and her suggestions and complaints are getting a little old and sound so childish. Also, my friends have to be the ones to walk away from the negativity themselves and I am not the one who tells them to do so because we are grown ups and we need to live our lives. Sometimes I wonder if my friends like neativity
I personally thought I would not take the time to write in my journal at this hour of the morning/day which is Saturday. I am usually in bed by this time and sleeping in most cases, but not tonight! I am ok, though, so do not get me wrong. I am not sick but I am definitely addicted to math and the homework we are learning in math 208 right now. I am going to shut off the computer in a few minutes and go to bed and get some SLEEP. This is Saturday and believe me, I am tired!!! I am going to say good night right now and good morning or afternoon later.