Before Going to Bed Thoughts

I do have to admit that the last couple of days have been hectic and emotional. I talked to my stepmother earlier today and told her that I had fun and still wished I was in Arkansas and she seemed to understand my feelings and thoughts. I was able to talk to my sister and my dad too. It made the last four days not so bad when I returned home from Arkansas. I do have to admit that I am riding the emotional roller coaster right now but I have Emilee here who has been very helpful and very loving. She is such a good cat and has been for so long now. I am happy to this day that I have been able to leave her at home with the best care nearby without feeling I have abandoned her and made her feeling very lonely. She just loves her Auntie Linda as we call her, lol. Right now Emilee is laying right here next to me watching me type and looking at me happily when I look at her and smile.

I feel I have been on my computer less these few days since I have been home and I really cannot count how many times I have been on when in reality it has been seldom. I know when school is up and going again in a few days I will be back on the computer often and it sure is a nice break from the computer at the reading of material related for school. I do not know why I have been in such an emotional state these last few days. I have been sleeping a lot again! Depression has struck again! That scares me very badly.

The other day, not knowing it, I had someone email me asking me if I had an item in my Mary Kay Inventory and so I emailed her back four days later and learned yesterday that she did not want the specific product anymore as she found a local Mary Kay Consultant. That hurt my feelings to the point I practically cried and wanted to email this lady for being such a jerk. I was on vacation and did not have any opportunity to check my e-mails but on my birthday because my stepmother’s computer has is quirks big time. Some people just do not have the decency anymore. What is happening to this world? A lot of hate and anger is in this world today and it is going to worsen believe me. Emilee, even though she can not read my words going across the screen, knows that I am not a happy camper right now. She is holding onto my arm and looking at me with understanding. I just don’t want those tears to shed again, that’s all.

Today has been another one of those days of emotional ups and downs. I wish it would stop. I have been taking my medication and will be seeing my doctor this coming week, thankfully. I need to let him know that I have been sleeping a lot again these past few days. Emulee is demanding me to go to bed now, bless that cat! What a joy she is.

I am going to go to bed now. See you all tomorrow. Love you all and takk to you tomorrow after church. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. Good night and God bless. I am learning that writing my thoughts and feelings down really helps but sometimes I end up getting reprocussions of it later on during the week. Pray that does not happen. It would just drag me down further into something that terrible and so horrible that my life sees often.

Mid Afternoon Thoughts

Ok doke, I did not get up until about noon today. I am one of the laziest people in the world right now. I am still in my pajamas listening to Little House on The Prairie right now and wanting to get some more sleep. Honestly, ever since I left Arkansas I have been going through something aweful emotionally. I believe I am going through depression again and it really gives me to thinking that I am just an emotional roller coaster rigiht now. I am fed up with this emotional roller coaster. I guess I was having too much fun in Arkansas while I was there for four and a half days. Emilee has been a big help but right now she is hiding in the bedroom and sleeping somewhere. I wish she was out here with me. She has been so good for me since I have been back from Arkansas and while I was away in Arkansas. What is going on with me? I feel so blah and sleepy and just wanting to sleep the day away. My what a wonder my world is most of the time. I can not wait for class to begin Tuesday and maybe that is one of my problems!!!!