Who’s Keeper Am I?

Ok, I am a little not too happy right this minute. I had gone to a friend’s place last night to help celebrate my friend’s newfound marrige with other friends. I had pulled a muscle in my lower back between the middle and the left side and have been having troubles walking, getting out of bed, and bending down to get things off the floor because the pain has been unbearable. In the meantime a friend of mine who lives in the buidling with me, who happens to live next door, had gotten upset with me because I did not tell her if I was going anywhere. As if I am her keeper or something of that sort! I am no one’s keeper but my own! I wish people would stop minding my business and start minding their own business but knowing that in places like this there are a lot of nosy neighbors no matter where we turn. I am upset because my neighbor made it sound like my friend who helps me take care of Emilee when I am gone was mad at me too when I had learned quite the opposite. My neighbor ended up putting words in my friend’s mouth and that does not make me very happy at all.

Get this. I had ordered a pizza (Calzone) from the nearby Prime Time Pizza Plae yesterday afternoon and when the girl was leaving from delivering my pizza a nosy neighbor had asked the girl what was she there for and the girl told the nosy neighbor and everything became very quiet after that. Peoople are so nosy around here for some reason. Doesn’t anyone have anything better to do anymore? Nope, not according to my book. I can not even sit inside my own apartment minding my own business regarding school work and working on my computer or read a book knowing that people outside my door know what I am doing in here. It makes me sick to my stomach and angry. I do not have a life outside this place either.

Get this. Another vent of course. KW called me last night, finding me at my friend’s reception/gathering at her and her newfound husband enjoying myself when she/KW told me that my neighbor had called her place looking for me. The fact that my neighbor calling KW’s place looking for me did not settle very well. I am not anyone’s keeper here. I do not have to answer to anyone’s questions or tell anyone where I am going whether or not I am feeling good or not so good. I have to have a life too. Yes, I do have a pulled muscle in my lower back and yes it is not comfortable, but I needed and wanted to get out of this place for a while to enjoy my friend’s wedding reception/gathering. I do havea life outside my apartment too but the way the neighbor goes at it and at it over and over again, I should not have a life beyond her. KW told me a bit ago that my neighbor seems controlling and that does not settle too well with either one of us. Where is my life? I am no one’s keeper or am I? I’d rather stay locked up in my apartment doing my schoolwork and my personal business and not bother with anyone any longer and go as I plaase. Even my friend who takes care of Emilee while I am gone overnight or on vacation to see family said I do not have to answer to anyone but myself. My friend was not even mad at me but my neighbor seemed to put words in LLD’s mouth for her last night which made me very upset and scared of the fact that LLD might be mad at me after all, but found out earlier today she is not mad at me at all. I have quite the nosy neighbors around here and it seems to roll on to me that they are being nosy about. No life here! I won’t/can’t move away from here right now either because of the money.

Boy! Did I ever vent my thoughts out todaay, didn’t I? LOL

What’s Wrong With People!

My frend JJO was put down very badly by someone who we all thought was a friend to everyone in our group of friends. In fact, I had learned from JJO that this so-called friend had also put me down while I was not there to defend for myself and JJO had opened up her mouth and defended me. What is wrong with people wanting control or getting upset over the stupidest things in this world? I was cut down by this person because of the fact that I was on my cell phone calling everyone in regards to JW’s personal welfare and safety of the bad weather the other day. I personally do not like storms or tornado warnings or watches very much and I JW was my responsibility that day – friends can be jealous or controlling all they want and believe me, they could be walking on fragile waters with my friends right now! Poor JJO! She was very upset and labeling herself that she really wasn’t but I could understand her paun and feelings of being hurt. Believe it or not, I would like to give this so-called friend some beef for acting like a total jerk and a b**** to my friends Thursday night. No one treats my friends by giving them a three hour lecture in my own friend’s apartment calling her names and being a total b**** to her and telling her what to do. I hate people who want control in everything around them. I am not going to be a part of this person’s life as long as I can help it. I have my friends and I know who they are and that they are true to me.

What A Day This Day Was

The idea of meeting JW at his workplace and go home with him was really out of the question as our bad weather threw in some tornado watches earlier this afternoon. As I was riding the bus to meet JW at the bus stop, we were told to evacuate the bus and go inside the middle school that was its route and we in lockdown for about forty-five minutes. I had learned too that JW was in lockdown at his workplace so meeting him would definitely come as soon as lockdown was over and the buses could go back on the road to finish their routes. I did not get to meet JW at his worksite/bus stop but we did connect at his apartment building where his mother dropped him off and I met him inside.

As JW and I were getting into his apartment complex, I had run into someone I wish I did not want to run into. At the same time I had run into this person, I was trying to talk to JJO on my cell phone and tell her that JW and I were safe in the apartment complex and at the same time I was talking to JJO was being asked questions from the person I did not wish to run into. What’s worse about this situation is the fact that this very person was hanging around another person that has not been on my favorites list for a while now either. It just seems, every time KW is gone and I JW’s companion of choice, JW ends up getting flack and hurt by this certain someone I wish I did not run into while being there because of the big green-eyed monster named jealousy or envy….however it is put these days.

It was after 5:30 p.m. that I had arrived homoe when I had lelarned of another tornado watch in affect. I had called KW to let her know that I had arrived safely but a little wet and was heading up to the apartment to drop off my stuff and go get Emilee in her house and bring her back down with me to safety in thehallway. Not everyone was downstais but those who knew better were downstairs in the safety of the hallways or lobby. Emilee felt safe too thankfully.

Both Emilee and I were able to go to sleep early that night.

Today’s LLM’s Birthday and Other Thoughts

My surrogate Mom, NMS, has a birthday today. She is 72 years old! Not a whole lot going on today except for the fact that I am going to go meet JW after work today and be his companion for a couple of hours until KW gets home from school this faternoon after 4 sometime. We are expecting real bad weather today – thunderstorms and possible tornado watches throughout the day. It is that time to take my umbrella with me everywhere I go on a rainy, thunderstormy day. I don’t like to take umbrellas with me but I do anyway to keep myself as dry as possible. BOY IT’S HUMID!!! YUCKY and HOT!

Got a lot done!

I am a little surprised that I did some cleaning today – not a whole lot, but got my kitchen table clean off, my phone table/filing cabinet cleaned off, and the filing cabinet at my computer desk free from junk and only with filing folders. I really had A LOT of junk in my filing cabinet at my computer desk. I have not worked like I did today in such a long time. My cleaning helper is coming tomorrow morning by 8:30 a.m. to get some more cleaning and organizing done. I am not tired right now but since I took my medicine a little bit ago, I will be tired soon. I have a big day tomorrow.

Again I do not have a whole lot to talk about. I am going to say good night and God bless all my friends for the night and be back tomorrow.

My Monday

Today was not so bad, even with the weather cooler and cloudy (overcast skies). I had an appointment with my counselor this afternoon and it went well. After I got home, I got some work done in the online classroom, and played some hand held yahtzee, and watched recorded programs on my DVR (Digital Video Recorder). Even the electricians came and replaced old outlits with newer one, and installed a smoke detector in the bedroom. I was gone when they came in to do that. They did quite a few apartments today and our outside management is bringing up our apartment up to code. Sommers Reality (Bob Sommers) is a fine manager above our onsite manager.

I really do not have a lot to say tonight. I am getting tired and bed sure does sound wonderful right now. I can barely keep my eyes open anymore tonight. It has been a pretty good day all day long. I just wiish that this cloudy (overcast skies) would end. I sure do miss the sunshine and the warm weather that shows that summer is on its way soon.

I think I better go now. I can barely type anything without being so relaxed. Good night and God bless you all!

For the longest now so much emotion has been shared and experienced. I have felt the frustration in my life but it has seemed to disipate and go away, but te feeling seems to play every once in a while even to this day. Dealing with a lot of thought on what I am going to do for myself to get away from all the anxiety has been considered but nothing has been done. A certain feeling comes and goes in regards to some very important people in my life and how is it going to be in the long run as I walk down the road further. I am sick and tired of not being assertive enough! I cannot speak up when it comes to certain things happening in my life. Feelings of being hurt is a big problem for me right now. I have some real good friends and they always let me know if I have to work on something in my life to make my life better. With me not being assertive really has taken its toll on me lately. I have a life beyond this computer of mine but it seems to have robbed me right now because school has taken a lot of my time. There is a world in need of exploring as it was created for me to enjoy by God, and believe it or not, I haven’t explored past my computer and the internet, and school related online activities, and so I am trying to explore beyond the computer now by using time management effectively. I am still working on it. School has been going well here for me. I am a busy gal! Thankfully…

I am so happy right now.