I live in a very nice apartment complex as far as looks and size, but the people who live here are not all nice. In fact, knowing a few of the neighbors here, I will not associate with because of their background or how they look at me as a person. Being a young woman, treated like dirt by some of the people here, I have the right to live where I do because I am disabled enough to have disability money come to me monthly and I am in a nice place. Some people here Do NOT make it a nice place. We have a nice room for tenants to sit and visit, and I will not go in there often because I do not like it there all the time. I wish the games here would stop and those who have caused trouble and problems here would leave and see what it is like to be treated like dirt themselves but no one is willing to volunteer their lives in that way. Here, not a volunteer myself, fell victim to tenant wrath and cruelty from time to time. All because I am good friends with another tenant here, I am looked upon as an ugly person and that hurts my heart badly and all I want in this whole world is peace and safety. I even felt the flack from my ex-boyfriend and had to get him out of my life in order to be happy for myself and return back to myself before he tried his hardest to get rid of me controlling my own life. No one will control my life or they are history and will not be spoken to again. I will only pray for those people! I even do not feel comfortable being close friends to another tenant here because of what happened over a year that caused a good friend of mine to leave this place and not be able to come back. That is how cruel some people are around here. sometimes I can not leave my apartment because I feel I am being watched or listened to. WHAT A WORLD!!!!
What I had written before this entry, I just want to let you all know that I am not here to offend or hurt others. I was just reviewing some things in my thought process and wanted to finish my thought from the other day. Some days, like everyone else, I do not write so well and other days I write just fine. I have been picked on, teased in a bad way, and snubbed by too many people in so many years to when I could remember. I just wanted everyone to know that my heart is kind and can be hardened in a second towards certain people these days. I am not a faucet that is turned on and off all the time but if the wrong buttons are pushed, I know I can be a different person no matter what. I have had a lot of heck in my life that is not always happy. I deal with a lot of emotional turmoil around me and I am very susceptible to change no matter where I go. I will NOT be hurt by anyone anymore. I have learned to walk away from this and that but yet still have a soft heart from time to time. I do not live in a happy world all the time just like veryone else. I do have feelings too!