July 10


A Quick Morning

Jimmy and I were picked up for church a little before 10 a.m.. We went to Sabbath School and Worship Services. When we got there, I had noticed, one of Milton’s Church members was there. It was wonderful seeing this person. His name is Ray. He had found out that he had cancer and had been told he had six months to live. Just days ago I had learned that Ray’s cancer is in remission now, which gives him some extra time to be with his two boys and wife Rita and her son. During Sabbath school, a member was welcomed, and I had learned it was my surrogate Mom and our friend REB sitting in the back pew behind us. It was great seeing both of them. REB looks happier too! YEAH!

After church Pam took Jimmy home and then me.

I Have Been Thinking About Things In My Own Life
Remember when I had written an entry regarding one of Kelly’s friends acting immature in so many ways by not speaking to me when Kelly was not in the room with us? Well, I still feel weird when this one friend is around when I am around but I am getting over it quickly. Anyway, that is least of my worries and I have not been thinking too much about that. I have been thinking about my life here at Teamster Manor. Well, for the first time in my journaling career here at Dear Diary, I have decided to share my thoughts through an e-mail to my surrogate Mom. Let me share my e-mail I wrote to her, and her reply back to me. Ok, here it goes…

Dearest LLM,

I do not know why I am bouncing back and forth about some things in my life. I think I am re-assessing my life once more. My feelings toward some of the people in here are still questionable and that will always be I suppose. Who knows but God. I am so glad to see that Larry Radtke is moving out of here. Another troublemaker is leaving. I just wish that SR would be moving too. I can never understand her! I do not want to understand her, either. I will be civil but I will never allow her in my life. I can not have everything I want, but wanting her out of here would be a pleasure! It is a pleasure to see LR leaving here for good too. No more Kathy hanging around and I do not ever want to be friends with her again after what LR and Kathy have done to me that makees my heart cold to them. I am still praying for them, though. My heart has not gptten that cold anyway.

I have been enjoying my summer off and on here. I have noticed that now being a Mary Kay Consultant. I have days to look forward to everyday. I have potential customers now and I am spreading the word around. I am feeling happy again.

I will always LOVE YOU!

Love, KAYKAY

THIS WAS HER REPLY TO ME UPON A REQUEST I HAD MADE:

Being busy and having something to look forward to is one of the blessings of life that we can be very thankful for. Idle hands make for sadness and depression. I know. As far as our friendships with those who have hurt us or done things we may not approve of-as you said, let God do the judging. We do not have to STRIVE to be friends with ungodly persons, only witness to them and pray they will want to change their own life styles. The Bible says ” do not cast your pearls before swine” meaning there are some people who will never change, and all our efforts will be null and void. Better to concentrate on those who show an interest while still being christian and praying for the ungodly around us, and leave their souls in the hands of God. We can forgive and move on and we must forgive and move on, not stay in the same old path and let them spit on us time and time again. By doing that we only make ourselves miserable and do them no good either.
I am glad you are thinking of these things over and moving on.
it is hard sometimes, but with God, ALL things are possible.
LLM

My thoughts regarding this is this: it will work with Kelly’s friend, too, and I am going to sleep on it and work it out and get past that feeling I still have. I was able to get past this same feeling regarding someone else, so I can do it agaiin with another person. I really do like Kelly’s friend and yes I was hurting a while back, but it is time to let go and say goodbye to that now.

Time to Say Good Night Y’all
I feel I have written another chapter in my journal today so I am going to say good night to all of my DD friends for the night. If the weather is good tomorrow, I will definitely be back tomorrow. Good night and God Bless you all!