A Quick One and a Good Night


It has been a quiet day for me. The phone rang very little and almost not enough, lol. Anyway, I got online and did a spyware scan on one of my spyware programs and learned that I had a trojan horse called 2nd Thought. No need to worry really because I think it has been on my computer for a while and I just found it. The spyware program deleted it…thankfully! It was not frustrating or anything because while surfing the net, you never know what goes on there anymore really. It is just a pain in the bottom, that’s all. I downloaded a free version of Spy Sweeper. You can download by finding it on your computer by typing in spy sweeper. A friend of mine online while playing Canasta told me about the free version. If you want to contribute to the cause ofthe program, there is a one year or two year subscription. I personally think that it is not worth the cost since I do have Spy Killer for spyware detection and Spam Pepper for my e-mail. Anyway, the 2nd thought virus – trojan horse is gone for now. I wonder, in reality if I had it for a while or if it came on today. Who cares, it is gone now. Ksmiley smiles once again.

I have a lot on my mind I would like to write about but it is late and it is 11:30 p.m.. I did not take my Celexa at 5 p.m. tonight so I decided to wait until tomorrow to take it to see if the time has something to do with my sleeping so much during the day and feeling groggy at early hours of the morning…just waking up is hard. Again, last night I resorted to the couch but that IS NOT going to happen tonight. Bed I will stay in all night long. ( am going to sign off here for the night and say good night to everyone and come back tomorrow. I have plans to go to Kelly and Jimmy’s tomorrow afternoon sometime so I have to be up and ready to go by a certain time. I will be back tomorrow night though. I am not spending the night again until Friday night there anyway. A better plan to do so. Good night everyone!!!

Something On My Mind AGAIN!


I thought, since my journal is a place of thought, I would share what is on my mind even though it may be a repeated offense for some of my readers. Right now, knowing that my readers do care, I need to get something off my mind before it drives me totally crazy in the head. I already have a lot of anxiety going on in my life so maybe writing it will help.

Anyway, I have dear friends who live in another subsidized apartment complex downtown from here and they have been dealing with a lot of things going on there. First, about three weeks ago or more now, don’t remember, there wasa fire in their building that drove everyone there to evacuate the building and lives could have been lost but luckily none were lost. I do know that the fire caused a lot of anxiety and emotional upset to all of my friends there. Secondly, there has been dealings with a neighbor there who has a jealous streak in her and has caused a lot of emotional grief between two of my friends who happen to be dating each other now and this neighbor who has a jealous streak in her has caused a lot of arguments that have questioned the friendship and kindness they have given her for the past several weeks. Ever since Friday night, the police have been involved and here I am at my home wishing I was there to comfort those who are my friends through such an ordeal as what happened this weekend this far.

As far as I am concerned about my relationship with this neighbor of their’s, there never was a friendship brewing because my sixth instrinct strictly proved me to be extremely careful about this person everywhere. The vibes this person gave were vibes that were never pleasaant or kind. The vibes I got from this person was like evil or something not good. I can never push my instincts to the ground when feelings like such has red flags popping up. I have, with my Christian heart, tried so hard to be friendly to this person, but all I got from her was words pushed out of her mouth with anger spewing harshly towards my friends. My friend Jimmy, Kelly’s husband, has Downs Syndrome, diabetes, and other health related problems due to diabetes and Downs Syndrome, has been an innocent victim of this person’s wrath and unkindness. Even this past Friday, which was told to me after midnight that night, that this one person had caused such a ruckus that Jimmy and our friend Janessa to be shaking like leaves from a very windy day, and crying. Kelly and a friend of hers had just gotten home at the tail end of the ordeal and found two people so upset that Kelly was furious when she had learned of what happened. I, being at home, in bed but waiting patiently for Kelly to call me to pray and say good night, wanted to get out of bed and hop on over there to comfort everyone involved in the ordeal except for the one who caused such a ruckus. That night, Friday, had proven to me that what kindness I had for this one neighbor of their’s had gone down the toliet and no kindness was left in my heart for this woman anymore. Even to this day, Jimmy, a kind, always happy soul, does not want anything to do with their neighbor anymore, and not attend work because this neighbor works there. I do feel bad but also good too because this woman has shown her true colors and has definitely lost what friendship she did have among five people she was in contact with. I have, surely felt I had to, blocked this person’s e-mail from all my addressbooks I currently use. My friendship, which never got far with her, is OVER and OVER FOREVER! All I can do is pray for now and go with that.

The person who I am referring to as neighbor or person is nicknamed JT. She is a female person.

Now that I have expressed my thoughts to the public, I feel better but it is still on my mind as it will not roll away and LEAVE me alone. JT has caused so much grief and tears with four of my friends to the point of almost losing their own places because of troubles that have resorted from someone else’s stupity and craziness. Even tomorrow, Monday at 11 a.m., Kelly, even though she was not there when the ruckus happened, she will be going to the office in the morning to talk to someone regarding what happened all weekend long. Kelly had mentioned that if JT goes into the office and complains about her and Jimmy, they will have to move. I surely hope not because the ruckus started because of JT screaming, getting into Janessa’s face and was going to physically hit her, and just being such a witch about everything – even the dating of Janessa and Chad and JT has a problem with that because she allowed jealously to get in the way of everything in her life. All that I have seen, ever since meeting JT, is her jealousy rages and her actions of breaking Janessa and Chad up so she could have Chad to herself and boss him around everywhere he went or did in his life. I have seen nothing good out of JT since I have met her and all I see is selfishness and a self-centeredness that drives me up a wall and in a frenzy because I see self-centeredness in my own mom a lot when I see her or visit her. No good has come out of JT since I met her. NOTHING GOOD!
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With what has been happening to my friends there in their apartment complex has reminded me of the conlicts I have my ex-roommate now and then. Personally I think now my ex-roommate has gotten the message to leave me alone and not call me anymore. If she asks questions to people in this building, I will soon find out and it will be brought to a stop in a flash and she will be paying for her actions someday when judgment comes in heaven. JT will be judged by her actionos here as well. Even my own towards JT right now. There is no way around it as long as God is our maker and our creator. I do believe in Him.

To finish my thoughts, I would like to write a letter to JT and get through to her that she nothing but a self-centered and selfish woman who acts like a child because she had not gotten her way with my friends, but knowing that keeping my distance from her since I was not involved with the incidents that hapeened this weekend, it is best to let my idea roll off my back. Anyway, it will be an act of mysellf that proves to my own childish acts as well. Kelly, a good hearted person she is, has told me that she is done with JT and is not going to press the matter any further and just leave JT alone like JT has requested. Kelly is done with JT. JT has caused enough fury for one weekend!

IF do write a letter expressing my feelings to JT, I will share it here but not send it to JT for my safety sake.