A Quickie

A Quick Entry
I am not yet done updating my new look just yet. Please forgive me if I have not finished, but it is late, and I have an appointment with a MK director in the morning just before lunch. I have not been sleeping well these nigiht because it gets so warm in my apartment, even with the fans going on around me. I think I will be up for a while yet but this is going to be the last entry of the night here. Starting tomorrow, I have a trial period of writing one entry per day.

Other Journals
My Christian Journal
Teamster Manor Journal

The above journals my other places of writing at Dear Diary.

A Time for a Change Once Again

A Change Once Again

Starting July 1, 2004, Thursday, I am going to try something different regarding my journal writing. I have found myself on line a lot lately since school has been out for the summer, and writing in my journal has been a great number of entries from time to time. I have decided, for the month of July as a trial period, to write in my journal once a day with caps of my days in one entry. It is, once again, only a trial period for me. Anytime DD is unable to accessed, I will be writing in my thoughts using my computer’s word processor and updating when Dd is up and running again on line. I do not know what has brought on this temporary plan at this time. I just want to try something different for a while. I am in the mood for a change again.

Outlook of My Journal
I know I have not had the black and pink/peach roses for very long, but I am going to change the outlook of my diary once again with another summery look. With the time being after midnight, I will work on my new look tomorrow sometime. I have to go to the hospital to get my lab work for my kidney tomorroow and run my stuff to my DVR counselor, and go to the corner store for a couple of things, I will do the outlook sometime when I return home from running my errands.

Thoughts on 6/29

“I do not know what just happened, but I remember working on my journal entry for the night, when I realized I did not finish it when I went to another website, losing everything I had written previously. With everything that I had written, I had forgotten.”

What did I forget?

I forgot everything, lol!

My Thoughts of the Day
Not much has happened today. Did some picking up and getting everything ready to take to the garbage and recycling bins in the morning. I had a good pajama day party with myself, a book, and my cat Emilee Cuddles. I have ended my period and now I feel kind of off physically. A headache thing going on right now. Took Tylenol a few minutes ago so my headache is still nagging away at me. YUCK! I also thought that I was going to die a while ago the headache was nagging that badly, lol! I hate PMS headaches with a great passion.

Saying Good Night
I am sorry this is so short tonight but I do not have much to say for the day My day was pretty normal and boring in reality. After July 1, my days will NOT be boring anymore. YEAH!

1st Entry of the Day and the Last For 6/28/04

I have not been on line that much today. In fact, I spent the entire morning away from home running errands with my friend Mark. I got back a little after 12 p.m. and spent the rest of the day home with the phone not ringing much again today. Maybe only four times, I believe six times in reality. That’s ok,it was another nice quiet day. I am a little hyped because of the fact that I will be involved in a venture right along with my mother in Mary Kay. In fact, I will be meeting with my MK director Thursday afternoon. YEAH! YEAH YEAH! I am EXCITED! I have also been using my cell phone more, too. That is another YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! once again, LOL

I do not know how long I will be hearing fireworks around the neighborhood, but by the time I see the 4th of July end, I will be sick and tired of the things going off. Fireworks can be pretty and fun to see but they are dangerous and I could care less about seeing them unless there was a big event like I have seen four years ago in Madison, Wisconsin or in 1987 in Albuquerque, New Mexico as a birthday gift from my mother since I kind of got sick on my birthday that year. But I can care less about the fireworks in Jansville, Wisconsin because they are no big deal here. They do not last that long here!! Bummer. Oh yeah, I did see the fireworks in Milton a couple of years ago or so and that was fun because there was a carnival and I love carnivals! That was a fairly big deal that year. I went with friends I love dearly.

I have some sad news to spill. My dear friend Greggy (REB) is in the hospital again for a multiple of reasons. His diabetes is out of control, he is depressed a lot, and he is not a very happy camper. His time in the hospital is monitored stictly and his blood sugar is out of control and even though under hospitalization, it yet unstable and not controlled. I do not know how long he will be in the hospital right now. He was admitted on Friday. We will lose him one day and that timely death is unknown to us but his death is known to God. I feel so helpless except through prayer and hope and believe me, hope has been risen so much in me that I have had a lot of hope squashed in my 33 1/2 years.

Why do I say 33 1/2 years? Well, in reality, I will be only 33 for the next six days. On Saturday, I will be 34 years old or 34 years young however anyone looks at it. Any which way, I will be 34. Ok, now I just said something secretative again, lol. Shhh! LOL

It seems that my day has come and gone quickly today. Probably because of the fact that I had things to do this morning. I have plans to be somewhere tomorrow morning as well, but it will be only a few minutes I will be gone anyway. I just have to go down the street, away from my apartment building to go to the Job Center to hand something in to my DVR counselor regarding school information. At this point, I feel I am in a good standing with my schooling. YeAH!

Well, I think, at this time, going to leave my writing at this point and come back tomorrow. I am really at a loss for words now. Good night everyone! I think, for the next three days, I am going to only write entry per day until July. I have written 73 entries this month! YIKES! WOW!

An Evening Entry : Last Entry of the Day

This will be my last entry of the 27th of June.

It has been one of those days of sleep all day long again. The weather has been iffy. I thought I may have heard thunder a couple of times a little while ago, but I am not sure what I heard. My livingroom and bedroom windows are open and nothing is blocking the noise from outside. At night, when I am in bed, I have two fans running on high most of the night to block the noises from the outside world so I can sleep. I live by a busy street. In fact, my street is off of a busy street and traffic is going by 24/7 here.

I really do not have a lot to say tonight. My day was reading, sleeping, and watching cartoons and movies. Even the movie channels had movies not worth watching. I am watching a movie on Disney right now called “Heavyweights”. I have seen the movie more than once and it is a good comedy but also heart-wretching because the kids are heavy weight kids and I understand about being overweight these days. I am overweight myself. shhh, don’t tell anyone, lol

I will come back tomorrow sometime. I have some errands to run and my friend Mark will be able to help me, I think…lol

A Midnight Entry

Another late night rolled in just a moment ago and here I am. I do not know right now how long I have been on line yesterday yet. I looked and I have been on the computer a total of 4 hrs and 15 minutes yesterday online. EEEK! That is a lot and I have been on and off all day long. Anywy, this being another late night entry, will not be that terribly long but definitely NOT short. Anyway, I do not care.

I had a dream last night with my church friend and ride in it. It frightened me enough that it seemed real. I had awakened not remembering where I was and ran to the bathroom in a panic. Emilee was laying on my bed at my feet and she jumped down in a flash when I ran out of the room to the bathroom. I had scared her but we made amends right away when I returned. The dream seemed so real and frightening to me!

Friday and Saturday we had an air show happening and the planes in the air show were making a lot of noise flying around near the building I live in. In reality, it was not totally peaceful and quiet around here Friday and Saturday. I had talked to my surrogate Mom before 9 p.m. and she told me that the air show was over with at 5 p.m. Saturday so we will have peace and quiet from planes flying about. Now, from this day forward to a little after July 4th, I will also be hearing fireworks being shot off from neighbors here and there. Friday and Saturday night, before real late, I heard some good boomers. I can not sleep well when fireworks are being shot off either! That is why I have pulled a late nighter tonight. I will be going to bed at 1 a.m. when my two cartoon shows Kim Possiblle and The Proud Family are over. I have no reason to be getting up early in the morning on Sunday. I go to church on Saturday mornings becauuse I am an Adventist.

I am going to sign off for now and come back later.

Today’s Entries

Two of my entries were made for “friends only” today. Something was pressing on my mind for a long time – since Wednesday – and I needed to make it semi-private but yet share my thoughts with my online Dear Diary friends. Today was not all bad, but feelings were needed to be expressed after receiving an e-mail from a friend that was a little confusing. I also have my period which is no fun whatsoever. LOL, I did not keep that private did I?! That’s ok. This is my journal, my place, my words. Like some past entries I will make them totally private or for “friends only” and that will be a choice I will make from time to time. I have been leaving my journal wide open for the whole world to see lately, and sometimes I need to make things more personal. I know who Dear Diary diarists are my friends and who they aren’t. The internet is a wide world place and not the whole world knows me, lol. Anyway, I would like to thank my DD friends for their comments today of June 26, 2004! Thanks!

I will be back later. This is another late nighter…

My Feeling Secluded to Friends Only 2

I do have to agree that my friends have to stop talking about each other behind backs and so forth because it hurts. I should know, it hurts me very much. Yet, I am a doer of talking behind a person’s back too, but I am changing that. Janessa and I talked and she told me that with what happened Wednesday and Thursday between us is done and over with and her job interview, to her, was a flop anyway because her interviewer seemed rude and irritated and did not ask that many questions. They pretty much sat there saying nothing. Janessa was frustrated. I just have to remember not to call her on Thursdays and Fridays. Thursdays is her day of laundry and other chores, and Friday nights she works at the Moose Lodge in town. I was forgiven.

The only thing is this…how long will it be before I irritate someone in my friendly group again? Not long, lol. It seemms that way anyaway.

I feel I have talked until I have been blue in the face with some people in my life. I have asked some people to come directly to me if they have a problem with me somewhere instead of talking to someone else behind my back. I do not hav a problem having someone talk to someone else for advice on how to handle the problem, but…the person they talk to does not need to come to me. It makes me feel like a baby and I already have some of those issues related to my family already. Anyway, it does not matter. My talking until I am blue in the face does not count anyway. I am only one person with an opinion, but soome 0f those people do not like it when problems between them and a friend is meshed around between other people who are not in the situation or the problem.

Here I am…talking until I am blue in the face – again. Sometimes I feel I have been hit right in the face.

My Feeling Secluded to Friends Only

Just today, wishing that Wednesday and Thursday never even occurred at all, I had gotten an e-mail from my friend Janessa saying that I had caused her to get all upset before her 5 o’clock interview Thursday and she feels she will not get it now, and that at the interview, her and her interviewee did not exchange any but maybe two words altogether. She says she is ticked off at me but not mad at me. Honestly, being ticked off is the same as being mad and it is worse than mad. Then, with that what happened Wednesday morning, causing me to be irritated with two people acting childish and stupid, I had learned, in the same e-mail from Janessa that she and Kelly wanted to have the day to themselves without me along. Being as upset and shaking as I was, I did not hear that they wanted to with together without me along but I did not listen. First off I did not hear as upset as I felt between my irritation between me and two people.

Something was pressing on my mind ever since the beginning of the week and now I have the answer to what has been pressing. The friends I have: Kelly, Janessa, and Chad are in this pressing situation on my mind. They will talk about people behind their backs. Janessa talks to Kelly about what I do that irritates her and then I hear it from Kelly but not Janessa until maybe days later…like the e-mail that I had gotten today. I had just talked to Kelly about how my mother in New Mexico sometimes me feel and here my friends treat me like a baby because they are babies themselves and can not deal with an emotional situation just like me. I do not know what to do. Do I have to walk away from them and change my telephone number? I feel I shouldn’t or otherwise the situation at hand will be handled incorrectly. Otherwise, Jimmy, Kelly’s husband, is part of the pressing problem.

Yes, I am more emotional during my period as always. Almost every woman is. My friend Alaina told me so that she can be harsh at times, too. I feel, still that my emotions are used against me with some people and Kelly, Janessa, and Chad are the suspects of the whole thing in this pressing problem. I think we all need to grow up here.