A Quick Entry of My Week

It has been a little time passed before this day that I have been able to write an entry. This past week was not the greatest and it was not its worst, either, but I can definitely tell you that it was an emotional week for me. Today I am on fire because I got back from a Women’s Retreat in Greenbay, Wisconsin a couple of hours ago now and my heart was on fire when I went and when I came home. It was a very good retreat away from home for one day!

Anyway, last week was not the greatest and it was not my worst but yet I had seen better days. I personally wish I could take the time to tell about it tonight but it is getting late and I have a big day tomorrow, and anyway, I am tired. But before I go, I would like to write about a feeling I have right now before going to bed for the night and so I do not dwell on it and lose sleep over it. I do not want to go to bed feeling low again!

I had gotten home from the Women’s Retreat in Greenbay, Wisconsin a couple of hours ago and I called a couple of people and told them about it. When I told a friend about how much fun I had, I could tell that this friend was low in spirits for some reason. Now, knowing that my feelings could be incorrect, but that feeling flew through me like a brick through a window for some odd reason. I did not know what to think so I did not say anything to my friend because I could not even find the right words. In fact, I was kind of hurt by some of the words that came forth from my friend’s mouth even though it should not have hurt me. I felt lost and totally unsure of her true feelings as if I wsa reading her feelings all wrong. Yes, my friend was happy to hear that I had a good time at the sessions and everything else involved, but when she said that no one else knew about the retreat, I was unsure of why she even mentioned to me about her feelings when I had nothing about the retreat until just a few days ago and I knew that she would not be able to make it because of her health. She was stunned that another friend of hers had told her that they did not know nothing about the retreat in Greenbay, Wisconsin, and so on. Also, this friend also mentioned the fact of people being in certain groups and it was for this certain group and she was not a part of this group. I had become a little furious this time in my head but I held my tongue and kept quiet to give her a clue that what she said hurt me enough to notice the pain in my heart at the very moment. I was not going to allow my friend to break my good feeling inside my heart. No way! I will allow her feelings to be low and down but I will not allow her to destroy my feelings of happiness after taking a long time to find my happiness about a month ago passed.

Thought at the Moment

11:47 a.m.

Here I am at school, sitting at the computer waiting for my friend Kelly to get done with her Psychology test. I finished my about 11 a.m. this morning, after taking almost 3 hrs to do it. I was flabbergasted by the amount of questions and yet I feel I did fine on the test, and I will see what the results are when ALL the tests get graded. Well. anyway, writing about the Psychology test has nothing to do with what I want to say right now anyway.

I have not been able to write in my journal much this weekend. In fact, I was going to get on line Saturday night but before 5 p.m. my friend Kelly called and wanted me to spend the night so I did and could not get online at her place because she does not have a computer at this time. Well, anyway, last night I would really like to talk about right now because it is on my mind at the moment as well. Ok, here it goes… ARRRG!

I do not know what happened to me last night but when I retired to bed last night I kept crying and crying until I had fallen asleep. I do not know where the tears came from or even the sobs that came along with them. I do not know if it was frustration and stress I was relieving or the fact that something was on my mind on the back burner and just made me cry all of a sudden. I remember the sobbing I did. They were choking and unknown sobs from a little voice that knew something was not right. Where did the tears come from? I am still crying and my eyes are most with tears from last night’s crying and sobbing. What happened???