This Dratted Cold!



I gpt a cold a couple of days ago… I do feel better than I did yesterday but I surely feel stuffed up and kind of crummy right this minute. Yuck! I want to be on line longer but a storm is heading our direction sometime soon and I WILL NOT be on line or have my comp up and running. Later…

RAC



Starting Friday morning I will be working out at RAC = Riverfront Athletic Club to help lose weight which I have started since February. I am looking forward to working out and getting the excess weight I need off so I do not stress the kidney out.



Right now and the past few minutes I have been feeling kind of yucky. Did I catch a cold? My nose is runny and I am not sure if it is something I ate or I have the cold virus my sixteen year old sister had gotten two dayys before I left Arkansas. Oh well…I do not feel totally yucky yet. Maybe the vitamin C is doing its trick every day for me. I have a cold?

Here I am, on a Tuesday morning, waiting for noon to arrive when Rick will be here. I have a couple of things I need to do today but the heat is kind of bad today so I am limiting myself today and taking it easy. I am home now and have been since July 25th and I am feeling a little blah and good at the same time. Does it make sense?!! Ever since I have met Rick, my boyfriend now, I have been running around and hardly ever home and with what goes on around here, I would like to be away from home as much as possible, but I have a home to go to now and I feel safe in my home. I do have a life again! The only thing that bugs me is the fact of who I can trust now and who I can not trust. I did not want anyone to know I was going to be gone on vacation and almost whole building learned. Rick took care of Emilee while I was away on my trip from the 18th – 25th because I could not allow my friend to do it this time after finding out that she hangs around the “troublemakers” of this place I live in. It hurts my heart to even think of it but I do not appreciate being used or taken advantage of. What gets me now is the fact that I will not allow myself to take care of this neighbor’s cat anymore because of what this neighbor does. What hurts me more is the fact of another tenant who lives here does not even talk to me and acts as if she does not recognize me but then she is playing games because she also hangs with the “troublemakers”. I can not even call her anymore even for AVON orders because I can not trust her either. It can be horrible here at times and I am sorry I have to let some friends go in my life. You see, I have a life outside this place as well as here and I have two Christian friends I can trust annd then two others so that takes only four people I can talk to around here. I am a part, according to the “troublemakers” the group against them when “they” are the bad group in the first place. Do I feel sorry for the “triublemakers”? Nope! THey have chosen their road and I am not going to be a part of that road. I feel like Jesus Christ being mocked and taunted even though his experience was far greater than mine really. What really hurts my heart is the fact that RH is being bothered by the “troublemakers” to be a part of their group to be against me and my surrogate Mom. I told him if he did go that route, we will not be speaking to each other ever again and I will n0t have anything to do with him ever again. I have this feeling that it will happen sooner or later. He will be considered a backstabber then!!!!

Today



I do have to admit that the idea of me being pregnant, according to a few tenants around here where I live is now getting funny. I hate the idea of it but I know the truth as I am not that type or kind of person anyway. The only thing is that this kind of gossip is definitely upsetting my father as he too knows that I am not that kind of person. It makes me sick to know that one of my neighbors, who I thought was trustworthy, is no longer trustworthy and I will not allow her to take care of Emilee again. She, Emilee, really loves my boyfriend Rick and he took care of Emilee for me while I was in Arkansas. Anyway Emilee was very skitterish when this certain neighbor came about and afteer figuring things out, I can not trust this neighbor in any conversation we have anymore because she hangs around the “troublemakers” of this place.

Travels All Done!



It is good to be home and with my friends and family again. The whole building knew I was gone again and that really irritates me. Some people are not my friends here except for two Christiam friends and then a couple of other people. I hate this place I live but it is my home and no one is going to drive me away from here EVER! My travels are done and I am home safe and sound. Emilee was a good girl while I was away and that was very good. Starting today, reading of other diaries and writing in my own has begun again! YEAH!

Excitement in the Air



Even though coming home from El Paso, TX was an excperience I will never forget…the flight I was going home on was delayed three times…I am excited about going to AR to visit my dad and family there. THe only thing I have now, a reservation,. is leaving my friends, family, and Emilee behind once again for seven days. I know I will be fine and so will Emilee. I just have my reservations about some things that I can quite explain. The last two days have been a home again for me FINALLY and so I am very happy about that. I am feeling safe here again.