Due to bad weather coming I can not be on line much longer. I will have to wait and see about writing tomorrow.
Am I Snapping Out of It?
I did not take any calls today. As a matter of fact, I had two calls come in today. Peaceful? Yes but am I snapping out of this reverie I have been stuck in for a few days or more. I can not even count now because there has been too many days of a low feeling in me. Even my friend RH did not perk me up and that is why I did not answer the phone to his call. Living here has been really hellish and emotional. Too many people here taking over and it is driving a few of us crazy. Too many backstabbers and idiots living here. I can only trust three people inside and the management on the outside and that is two people. We are living in a world that is getting so crazy and out of control. I can not isolate myself from the world … beyond the front door anymore but it is so easy to do that if you knew this place. Am I snapping out of it? I hope so to be very honest with you… I can not stand it anymore the craziness I feel. At least I am still sane if sane is the right word. I am seeking help from someone professional – a counselor – for my emotional needs and it has been helping greatly.
I just wanted to say hello at this time. I m not 100% happy and not 100% sad. I am right in the middle with my feelings right now. I believe when I have vacation with family, I will be just fine as there will be things to do. It is hot today so I am staying inside with the AC on. I had an appointment this morning at 9:30 a.m. and it was already hot outdoors at 80 degrees. I thought it looked like it was going to storm. I did not know it was storming in the night or anything but it surely looked like it was going to while i was out so I took my umbrella with mme just in case and it never rained but the sun did come out. I was not going to take my chances now.
some people are going to hang themselves with their problens if they keep causing some kind of trouble.
It has been rough since February 15, 2003…
I have been dealing with emotions going up and down since Grandpa Clarence and it seems that I am dealing with a downward spiral in life. Don’t worry…it has not been rock bottom. I will not harm myself in any way. Where would Emilee go if I was not here because of something I did? I would not abandon Emilee. I am going to snap out of it and I will get help when I need it. As a matter of fact, I see my counselor tomorrow afternoon and I have two trips in July I am looking forward to. I will be seeing family in July and that begins a week from Tuesday, yeah!
I am unsure of how I feel today. It seems that some things around me seem one thing after another thing ordeal. It does not know when to stop. Satan is really working me…that’s for sure. The place I live in no longer feels all that safe or comfortable. On this side of the door or away from the building is the safest. I can trust no one in this place anymore except for three people inside and the management on the outside taking care of this place. The management is not the only people who is getting sick and tired of the junk going on in here. It is rediculous and some of the tenants are just acting very childish and stupid. I do not care who reads this entry today. It is my thoughts and feelings and no one is taking that away from me. I wish some people would just grow up and be adults as they are but noooo….acting like children is better. GROW UP PEOPLE!
All this weekend my cat has been picked on by people on the outside. The tenants living here just stood underneath the window abd talked and snickered at my cat who was looking down at them wondering what was going on down there and what were those crazy people were doing. This place is filled with crazy people!!!!!! HONESTLY!!!!
It has been fairly good excluding the troubles from a neighbor below me. I do not know why I am being picked on here constantly by some of the tenants but it is driving me bananas and I am getting sick and tired of it. No one has anything better to do now-a-days I guess and you have to feel sorry for people like that. I took a short nap this afternoon, missing The Proud Family cartoon on Disney and being awakened by the noise from below me again. I am glad the neighbor did wake me up. Taking a nap in the afternoon is not the best thing these days. I am not sick…
I do not have a lot of time to write right now. I will later…
My appointment went fairly well. I am so tired, since it is late, that I can not write about it right now. I am waiting for a friend to call me back shortly and then I am going to sleep. I am actually feeling tired…yeah
Appointment is still today…she did call and ask if she could come a little bit earlier than scheduled since her appointment before me camcelled today. That is a plus for me. Laundry will be done completely in a while, too…whew. I am still unsure about things today but I am awake and snapping out of this gloom I have been feeling…I think anyway.