Depression?



Thisi weather is driving me nuts and the fact that Grandpa Clarence is now gone, I think I have fallen into a slight depression. I will not, in the least, take any medication for depression as it will soon pass soon enough. Last night I did not go to bed until 12 midnight, about sx hours after Sabbath started. It has ended now. Time is 8:21 p.m. and Sabbath ended about 6 p.m. this evening. I had ordered a pizza and was interrupted when Nellie Mom dropped by to look at things on the Internet. The pizza got cold and my appetite disappeared for some reason. What I have on the leftover pizza is peppers, tomatoes. and mushrooms. It tasted good hot. I am not complaining about Nellie Mom coming up or anything. she can interrupt my eating anytime. I was getting full after two slices of pizza anyway. I have lunch and supper tomorrow already with the leftover pizza from supper tonight. In fact, I let Nellie have a piece of pizza while we looked at her e-mail together she was having troubles seeing from her mail station. Anyway, I think depression has set in some time back – when Grandpa died on the 15 of February. I am surprised that I am keeping my head above water and do well in school. It has been a long three weeks to say the least. Grandpa Clarence has been gone for three weeks today now. WOW! Although time has been an yo-yo in my life – time does go by sometime I guess. I can not believe that Grandpa has been gone three weeks already. WOW! AGAIN

I am not sure if I am depressed or not because I am holding my own as far as school is concerned. I have lost some sleep, yes, but it getting better as each day passes, thankfully. I do feel burdened in my heart at times as memories of my grandfather come into play. In fact, last night being the first night I could not sleep until after 12 midnight, I did get t0 sleep and did sleep eight hours, even though I had gotten up a couple of times during the night. TIme is getting better as well even though it felt like it dragged on and on forever it seemed. Am I depressed again? I HOPE NOT!

Last Night’s Fiasco

One of the reasons I did not sleep well last night was because my computer acted up and I thought it was screwed up for good. I could not rest, even after I shut it down, about the little glitch, which it was of course, a glitch. While I was online, the computer decided to have no taskbar so I could properly shut the computer down and reboot it. I had to improperly shut it down. I HATE THAT! In fact, to shut it down I had to press the button on the tower and then after I did that it shut down but for some odd reason a picture of Grandpa Clarence and Grandma Fox filled the entire screen and the WELCOME sign stayed longer than usual and the picture of Grandpa Clarence and Grandma Fox filled the screen again but the icons did not show up for a few minutes along with the picture I wanted in the center of the desktop. I had, which has worked since, to change a couple of things – don’t ask what I did since it was late and I was brain dead – and the computer glitch was fixed. Whew. I would not rest until that computer glitch was fixed – believe me! It is fixed now thankfully! Whew!

The Rest of My Thoughts

The weather was kind of bad today. It snowed a lot today and from what I undnerstand, it is going to snow more. I had awakened to a phone call from a neighbor at 8 a.m. and was told by him that it was going to snow and sleet today. I was not too thrilled about hearing that but it is still wintertime here in Wisconsin. It was about 9 or a little after that I saw the snow falling. It was pretty white and somewhat beautiful anyway. I was going to get together with my friend C today but because of the weather, C and I did not get together with our friend JP at all. We stayed home all day long and finally spoke about dinner time this evening before Sabbath had ended. I do not know what is going to happen tomorrow as far as company is concerned, but I do have my grieve counselor coming at 9 a.m.. Do I really want to get up before 9 a.m.? I have been everyday so far so why not. I can sleep in until 7:30 a.m. By the way, we have singers come to sing for us tomorrow afternoon at 3:30 p.m. so I PLAN to go see them.

I think I have to go for now. I want to get a bath in yet tonight before 10 p.m. and I might be back later. I do know that I need a relaxing bath right now. Later…