Thoughts of the Day – October 19

I would like, once again, to say thank you for taking the time to read my journal entries here at Dear Diary. I am glad that I have a few people interested in what I write about. It means a lot to me more other days because of the way I sometimes feel inside when lonliness strikes such a familiar cord in my life. Yesterday, while taking my friend out to dinner after she took me to my doctor’s appointment in the late afternoon, I could not help say have a good day to a lot of elderly people. Many of those I said “have a good day” really brightened some faces. A couple of people could care less and just ignored you. Don’t people like to smile anymore these days? Do we all have to be unhappy looking like those who are not happy, too? It just clinches my heart with an unwanted and familiar cord as well. I may have cerebral palsy and may look to someone different, but I am just like everyone else in the world who pays bills, lives in a place she can call home, I have a feline companion who I can share my sorrows with as well as my happiness, but having a feline companion does not always take away the lonliness I sometimes feel. Emotions are running through my head and tears just want to spill out because I am so concerned about one friend who means a lot to me and yet we seem so far apart to some degree. My heart just aches for this person to be happy and physically healthy again for a short time, but so many things have happened in her life that has caused her to have an emotional breakdown and feeling of not talking or hugging mood. I don’t like it myself that I feel that way, too, and I have NO IDEA why in the world I wrote this out for all to see! Sometimes it is just plain crazy being a woman dealing with womanly things!! Beiing a woman? I don’t mind it but when I hit a sour or mood swing because of being a woman, then I don’t like it I guess. Do other woman agree? These moods! I don’t like them one bit.