I am not dreading the coming of October whastoever. It is just the fact that my Grandma Fox passed away a short time before 1 a.m. on October 1, 1997 – a day short of her 78th birthday. I have wonderful memories of my grandma stored in my never overflowing memory bank of my brain. Memories are stored in my heart and mind forever. It is such a joy to have memories stored in memory of my mind because then I can share my memories with other people and friends, and most of my family. Even though my grandma has been gone for four years this coming October 1, 2001, I have not lost any of the wonderous times we’ve shared together as grandmother/granddaughter. Even today, oddly enough, the not so good memories that were shared between us, are no longer as bad as they once were. Just a lesson learned in every bad memory I guess. Now a days that is possibly agreeable. Who knows the answer to that one? “SMILE”
On October 1, I would like to dedicate the day to the memories I have of my grandmother. Not all can be shared as there is so much to write but I think I can squeeze in a couple or more memories of my grandma in on October 1 somewhere in the day. I don’t have a busy schedule on Monday away from home much but I do have a couple of needed errands to run to start out my day early. I’m going to be helping a friend by being her support at the doctor’s office, and then my friend is going to take my grocery shopping near here. Need food around this place…I’m on a diet and I need good food and of course a few snacks there somewhere hidden. I am not failing to lose weight – I think I am winning this weight fight I do have FINALLY.
Lets take a look at September at a glance. So much has happened and in so little of time. We had that national tragedy in Washington D.C. and New York City, and Pennsylvania. That happened on September 11th. That day, hearing of the tragedy really pulled at my heart strings and numbness occurred for a short time of two days. Somewhat I am still questioning some things, but all I can do is pray because I can not give blood due to a pre-existing condition, I don’t have a lot of money to give to people. I know that a dollar or two does add up, but sometimes I don’t have that. My church is doing everything possible to help the victim’s and the victims’ families as much as we can as a church/spiritual family. I do have to admit that the coverage is still being talked about and I try not to get too emotional, but it is hard sometimes depending on the pictures I see on the television screen and what I imagine in my mind from someone else’s telling of a story. I was literally thinking of not going to see family for the holidays but that has been decided upon self that I will go because I want to see my grandpa who has Alzheimer’s Disease and he would, if he was in his right mind, be proud of my decision to be with family. Now I have that feeling that is an obligation to pay back everything I Can back to my grandfather by giving something he always gave me – Love and Understanding, and most of all, knowledge of a fine person I am and can be – and sometimes am not. “SMILE” Memories of him too.
I feel that I have rambled on and on and on here. Before it gets any longer, I better go for now and get back here on October 1, 2001 – the day I would like to dedicate to my Grandma Fox. I hope everyone has a good week now. God blless yoou all!
It seems impossible that October is soon to arrive – next Monday! Wow!! I can not believe it. As off October 1, 2001, my writing is going to change once again and I am going to do my best to write in my journal everyday and I will try to find something to write about. October is a very awkward month for me because my grandma died four years ago October 1st, and sometimes I miss her terribly. I think I am going to begin writing a memory book regarding the wonderful and not so wonderful memories of my grandma and I when I was a child. I will not share my memories on the Dear Diary because some things are left better unknown to the world and maybe someday, unless Christ comes first, I will be a writer for the people of the world. Writing is one of my favorite things to do and sometimes writing in diary or journal is not my thing – depending on my day.
Well, it is getting fairly late here, and I know it is only a little after 8 p.m. here, but I need to take care of a couple of things before it gets any later and the Internet will be here tomorrow and always. I have to run now. Bye for now…
My day went very well. I had company in the early part of the afternoon and one of my neighbors visited me for a few minutes because I was in need to have a dress hemmed up for my weekend at church, and having three other people – sometimes four – in my home visiting, it can be fairly crowded in my four room apartment here, but the more the merrier sometimes.
Well today I am looking forward to my Friday – which will begin in a short while for me. I am looking forward to my Saturday as well! I am looking forward to a good weekend altogether.
It has been a while since I have taken the time to write in my journal. I have been busy and I have been going to bed early lately and sleeping until 8 a.m. or so it seems. I have not forgotten Dear Diary here at all, but I feel I have forgotten what it is like to stay in touch sometimes. LOL It is only, truly according to man-made time – still the 26th of September for me where I live foor another 1 1/2 hours from now.
Well this week, although it is Thursday according to Dear Diary, it is yet still Wednesday for 1 1/2 hours for me yet. I will be retiring to bed in a short while – should have been in bed about an hour ago really – tired.
I have been taking the time to read other journal entries here at Dear Diary whenever I can and I do enjoy what I do read and I do have my choosy days now and then so please forgive me. Many of you have wonderful writing skills and thoughts and I am glad to be a part of Dear Diary.
I have been doing fair since the terrorist attack on September 11 and keeping myself busy as much as possible. I have plans to return back to college in January 2002 if things work out the way the way I hope and I will follow God’s plans as well. I am getting through my days just find but my heart still aches terribly for those people who have died under the judgment of those people who don’t have feling of life. A lot of people are yet afraid to fly and are questioning their plans to go by jet or plane/ by flying. I was one of those people up until yesterday. I can’t allow those terrorists to keep me from seeing family in other states any longer. It is almost like a piece of you has died because of fear. It came to me yesterday, after speaking to my stepfather, that fear strikes people differently and fear is like a death if it stops you from taking risks sometimes. That is why a very big decision, and getting past a fear, has been monitored and really looked into by thinking this way and that way. Going to see family is not going to stop me and I will not take back my decision in any way shape or form.
Last night about 1 a.m. I had a dream that made me question where did it come from. In my dream, oddly enough, I was living underground in an underground home with my good friends who live here in the building I live in today. The place was of rocks and dirt and had lots of light because of the lighting on the walls so it was not completely dark, and our homes were of a four room apartment like what I live in today, but the design was different. My bed was a cot on the floor next to a cool rocky spot like a fireplace setting. My friends were avoiding the alien-faced people. The people we were avoiding looked like aliens from space somewhere. They were friendly and some were not friendly.
Later in the night before waking up this morning I had another dream that I was visiting my relatives up north in a home that has been burned down since the late 90s and two of my friends were going into town to shop when all of a sudden we were forced to stay put ini a school of teachers and students because my two friends and I were exposed to the mumps. There were spirits living in closets and a boy was hiding in the closet and one of the spirits/ghosts asked why the boy had mumps at 4 o’clock in the morning. Then all of a sudden I saw nurses running about the place, which turned into a hospital yelling “mumps! “mumps!” My girlfriend and I were in a room playing marbles with Reese’s Puffs cereal.
Strange, huh? I thought so too, and I really woke up wondering where those two dreams came from all of a sudden too! That is the questionable part in my head and I am still wondering where they came from. Now for the first I can guess that it is related to the attack on America where the aliens were the terrorists and my friends and I were living underground in a safe place where we would not get hurt. Now, for the second dream, I have no clue why that occurred. It did not make any sense in part of it.
(Please don’t think that I am being silly or unfeeling about wanting to have a prayer said and written here. I believe in the power of prayer.)
September 21, 2001
September 22, 2001
These past ten days have been a trial for the entire nation and last night from what I have understood, war has been declared through Pres. G. W. Bush last night – confirmed. Please Lord, watch the troops that go over to find and fight for what has happened on September 11, 2001 so early in the morning. Lives were lost that day and families were broken up. It is sad. Now there are going to lives lost in this war – a war without a fight is not a war to some people.
Sometimes I have trouble with finding a subject or topic title to write about and so I just question myself now and then what can it be about this time? So much has been happening since the attack on America and now President Bush has declared war? It was expected so my body or mind did not go into shock this time. I have been getting e-mails regarding people all over the United States. The e-mails have not stopped really since then.
Here I am up a little before 6 a.m. this morning and I am a little more awake than I would be on a normal day. Today is not exactly a normal day for me to be up this early. We had a thunderstorm until fairly late last night and my cat Emilee and I pretty much snuggled all night long. I knew she was at my feet when I had awakened this morning so I began playing a game with her asking her where’s my Mi Mi. I call her Mi Mi for Main Meow or My Main Meow. Sounds silly, huh? LOL
I had just awakened and fed my cat and now I am soon to get ready for my day. Today I start bowling for a team called Rolling Thunders – a handicapped bowling league. I did it last year with my ex-roommate and this year my boyfriend and I are going to be partners. How exciting! I am not the greatest bowler but I try despite it and I don’t do too bad if I have my mind set on it.
It isi cloudy and very grey outdoors this morning – going on 8 a.m. and it is a little grey in my home/apartment this morning. Thunderstorms are expected this late night but I shall be in bed by then hopefully.
Although this past week has been all about the national tragedy in NYC, I would like to wish everyonoe a good week as mucuh as they can possibly have. The mourning and tragedy is yet not over and it is very hard on everyone. I just want everyone to know that you are all in my prayers and thoughts. Have a good week everyone! or at least try.
I will never forget what happened on September 11, 2001. Never! I was in shock for two days regarding the tragedy and it is still hard to believe in some parts. Cruelty has definitely played a part in this nation’s tragedy and I do know that there is more to come as I do a lot of reading of hatred and unruliness. It has not been week yet, but it is pretty close to it and the tragic events are still being aired on television here in my home – everyone’s home – and it is hard to believe that it has come to something so horrible. There is so much hatred from other people in other countries and America stands for freedom today. Those terrorists don’t want freedom and they also don’t care for innocent lives as well as the not innocent. It is cruel out there beyond my apartment door if I don’t step carefully. I am still grateful for many things in life – many…
Although this national tragedy has affected me emotionally and somoewhat physically lately, I have been standing as strong as I can as I hear the most recent news of the happenings and findings of the incidents in NYC and Washington. I keep asking myself why do people want to wreck someone’s lives by destroying their loved ones and it is such a horrible question and thought. It is a world of uncertainty now and I find that we are living in the last days now. My wish is to have peace in the world but that one wish is so far-fetched and crazy now. There is going to be no peace left at the end of the world – the second coming of our Lord.