A Crash, Bang, Bang, Boom!!

I thought that yesterday was going to be a better day for me but in the afternoon, I ended up having a crash, bang, boom with my emotions. I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and sometimes I just have a bad day now and then. Yesterday afternoon my boyfriend was supposed to come over here but he never showed up and I got pretty upset over that…how silly it sounds, but it is so true. I ended up crying and leaving him a message of my hurt that he never showed up and never called to let me know what was going on…and he had plans to be here too but things got a little more busy than he thought with one of his friends. My boyfriend and I did talk about the reason why I was upset and he did understand, but he never saw my this upset before in our relationship. Blame it on PMS I guess and I just had a bad day with my emotions because if PMS. LOL

Today at this hour of 5 a.m., I am still feeling the after affects and the emotion but I am not mad at my boyfriend anymore. Now my boyfriend is not the type of man who would stand me up and not give me the time of day like a couple of my boyfriends did in the past, and this boyfriend will not leave me because of some emotional upsets that come and go now and then. He is a very understanding gentleman more than my other boyfriends could or wanted to understand. Let’s face it, my relationship is still very much intact with my boyfriend…whew!!! I wasn’t worried that it wasn’t, just relieved that it is. Wouldn’t you be thrilled to know that, too.

I do, at least, feel better than I did yesterday afternoon…just the after affects of the upset is in me. I am not able to sleep because I have something else good on my mind and as a writer sometimes I have to take the time and less sleep time to write all my thoughts and words down whether it is personal or for the public. After yesterday evening of reading Acts of the Apostles book I found three things – notes – to write about and I have always put a deadline on my writings. For you wanna be writers out there, I think you know what I mean to some point in life. I am a “wanna be” writer myself.

Well, I do have a big day ahead of me now and that I need to get go now. Have a great day gang. Bye for now. I will be back soon but not today. See ya all later…


I want to thank the people here at Dear Diary for reading my journal entries. As soon as June hits, I shall be back more often and write. The month of April and May have been nothing but busy and somewhat long. I am looking forward to my weekend coming so I can write in my journal here more often…no matter how boring of my day I should write a little something. Thanks gang!!!


Today is not an ordinary Monday…today is a Monday that falls on a weekend because of Memorial Day. Yes, Mondays!! Today is confusing somewhat. I am so used to having a two day weekend where a Monday is not a holiday kind of day. It is amazing!!! I am confused today. I thought today was the 29th of May when tomorrow, Tuesday is the 29th of May! When Monday is a holiday day I feel that my weekend is terribly long and a bore somewhat. Mondays!!! I don’t exactly hate them like Garfield…that’s for sure. Today just makes the weekend a long one.


My boyfriend’s nephew graduated from high school yesterday afternoon and it was a wonderful ceremony. I even had a great time at the graduation party where there was food, people, conversation, excitement, kids playing around, and good weather.

We had bad weather most of the week this week and yesterday was the first day with so relief from the rain. Today seems a little better regarding the rainy weather but I don’t think we are out of the woods yet. Having rainy, cloudy weather is dampening my moods a bit – causins some unsurities that I am not sure about. Having moods is rediculous if they are constant mood swings…anxieties!!! At least I had some fun yesterday.

Do Better Next Month

Since this month has been nothing but empty entries, I will do better next month. I promise to try. I am not going to be terribly busy next month except go see my dad’s side of the family up north of here for a few days but that’s it. At least i hope that’s it. I am looking for a job as well. Talk about May here being hectic!!!!

It Has Been A While – I know…

Please forgive me for not writing in my journal these past few weeks. Since Apr. 30th, I have been exploring, busy, and doing other things other than being on the internet all day after afternoon and evening. Anyway, this past week has been not the best weather for my computer to be on for great length of time. It has been relatively hectic around here lately other than exploring and seeing things with my new/restored sight. It has been amazingly incredible on top of things. This week I feel I have lost a part of my sanity – actually this month I feel I have lost a bit of my sanity with all that has been going on around here altogether. It has been unbelievable and crazy at times. On Tuesday, May 29 I will be on a new dosage of Prednisone for two weeks and if things go well with my blood work, I can go back to doing my blood work once a month. I am on a new/decreased dosage of Prednisone now. I have not had any problems according the the first week trial period. I am praying and hoping for the best.

About the sanity thing…lots of things have gone on around me outside my world of comfort. I have seen a dear friend (name unknown to readers) practically lost her sanity with a couple of girls who live in the building here and now things have calmed down considerably in the past two weeks but now there is fleas and lice in our community room and we need to stay out of the community room unitl further notice and the place gets bombed by professional bug people – the Orkin man I guess. My surrogate mom, a fine woman, had vented off her feelings the other day and now things seem to be a little more peaceful but not quite yet the same. I worry about my surrogate mom so much – more than i really should at times I think. ??? Oh well, that’s life. This month has been hectic, since my eye surgery, other than what I am happily experiencing with my new sight. It is amazing that there is some rotten apples in the bunch along with the happiness I have recently experienced. Life is not always a bowl full of cherries now – is it?? Nope. I am surprised, with the hectic things going on around me I haven’t lost my sanity completely. But luckily I hven’t…thank God for that!!!

Today is Saturday and I don’t usually write in my journal on Saturdays or work with money on Saturdays. Today is no different from any Saturday I have played for the past two years so I have no excuse for having this Saturday being a special Saturday or not. There is no excuse for much of anything anymore. It has been unsually quiet around here about me and it has been kind of hectic otherwise. What can I really say? The month of May is almost over – Thank goodness for that!! Gotta run for now. I bet this journal entry is the most boring one you have read today. Enjoy your day anyway. I know I am doing my best!!!!

Friendship Still Intact!!

For a long time I was worried that my friendship with my high school buddy was becoming severed, but I learned differently over a week ago. The friendship between this friend and I (name will be proteected) is still intact and secure. Finding out that my religious beliefs of going to church on Saturday and not Sunday is not a problem with my friend, either. It is so nice to know that my beliefs are still okay with her and if my beliefs were not okay with her, it would not bother me one bit. Tonight my friend and I are going out to dinner and spend some time together for a change of pace. I am excited to be able to see her – literally see her – not just because I haven’t seen her for a long time because she has been taking care of her ailing Mom. I am meaning to literally see her after having my eyesight restored over a week ago. This frienship I once was worried of becoming severed is still intact. I am glad for that. God blesses this friendship – and the fact that my prayers have been answered! I did not lose faith in my friendship with my friend or lose my faith in God. NEVER!!!

A New World

It has been a new world since I had the cataract removed from the right eye and now my world seems brighter, sharper, and clearer. I am amazed and happy to see the things I could not see well before. My whole world is different now and so much clearer.

I am not worried about my eyesight at this time as being able to see is very exciting and worth it. I have to count my blessings today – that’s for sure!

Even though my eyesight has been renewed and restored, I do have to admit that I am a little moody today and have been for a couple of days now. Wanting to cry my eyes out and get it over with but I have nothing to make me cry right now – even the saddest movie is doing its trick…LOL Oh well, I am in no rush to cry but that is soon to come I hope.

The World is Beautiful

I have been able to see well for six days now. My ‘new’ sight birthday is May 1, 2001, and today is only the sixth day I have been able to see so well. It is amazing how everything looks. Things look sharper, clearer, and brighter…with the cataracts everything looked dull after so long. Let’s face it = it is great seeing well again. I have a new lease on life once again and it is different from the lease on life I experienced four years ago when I moved to Teamster Manor Apts. It is a great feeling to see so well again…it is!