Today is Labor Day. IDS is closed so I will not get any services until tomorrow I will have laundry and cleaning done and then on Thursday I will be going grocery shopping and cooking. I did have my shower gal come at 9 am in this morning to give my shower. Then between 2 pm and 3 pm, I got my recliner back after Pastor Van and his wife took it last week to fix it. Apparently, a design flaw with the chair, the cord rubbed between two points and severed the wires so the chair did not work any longer. Pastor Van fixed the chair by working the wire that was cut/severed and rerouted the cord so that it would not rub and the cord will expose any wire to get cut. For a whole week I had lived with a space in the area where the chair was and now I have it back, and the space has been occupied with my recliner once more. I enjoyed the space that was there for as long as it was here. Do I miss the space? Yes, but my bottom was getting sore sitting on the futon from day to day, and sometimes at night, and I do not miss sitting on the futon right now. For a day and a half, I sat on a donut made for those who have troubles with hemorrhoids and it relieved the pressure on my bottom for the several hours. It was very hard to get on my computer during the week I sat on my futon. It was a break that I did not want to take but had to.
Life at Burbank Plaza Apartment Complex has not changed any more than it already had since August of 2013 – a year ago or so. We got a new manager who knows her job and has gotten acknowledgment for doing a great job by her boss earlier this year. Ever since SB has come into the building to be our onsite manager and be among us crazy tenants, this place has taken shape, has been formed into a livable and lovely place. Along those who will abide by the rules and behave and be good tenants there are those who have their issues and lives to contend with along with their distaste of how this place has become. Some tenants do not like SB because of how she handles things. It is the tenants who will lose out on kindness and understanding from SB not SB losing out. I believe she cares but she doe not let such opinions bother her.
Here I was … worried about nothing! Appointment with Dr. K went smoothly. She understands my anxiety and I did ask questions. The only complaint that I had was the fact that they could not get a weight on me because of the way they have their scales set up. My balance is one issue that some doctors do not take into consideration but when I finally lose some weight, it will be easier.
Oh my goodness! I discovered Pandora last night on my ROKU system. I have been listening to it for the past 45 minutes or so and now it is time for me to go to bed. It is going on 11 pm. Time just flies on by when I am working on a project and tonight’s little project was watching some YouTube videos and listening to Contemporary Christian music on Pandora tonight. I am going to say good night now. I did have a fairly good day again. I went grocery shopping with my worker (substitute) J this morning at 1015 am and then had laundry and cleaning from 1 pm to 315 pm or so. I even watched a movie titled “Saving Mr. Banks” and it was real good. I even talked to MM this afternoon before 5 pm today when she was able to get back to the office after helping clients to and from wherever they needed to be. So I had a fair day and it is finally time to say good night and go to bed. Good night!
Today is one fairly good day. I have been watching Netflix for almost a month now and I am now watching recorded television now for the first time in a long time. Since I did not go to church yesterday or today, I have decided to do what I can in writing with a cat nearby or wanting to be on my lap. Yes, I have either a laptop or a cat on my lap these days so I have to use my phone a lot for gaming, texting, and have it nearby when my Rescare workers do not use it.
I decided not to go anywhere as of yesterday. No church at all this weekend. I decided to stay home and relax. I got my period sometime between Thursday night and Friday morning. It is flowing heavy this month because of the fact that I have been under some emotional stress and having some other issues. I have been an emotional mess the past few days. I do not want to be around too many people at this time. I just want to be around those who work with me like IDS, Catholic Charities, and Rescare. I really do not want any company. So I am going to take it easy this weekend and watch Netflix, TV, and do my Bible study/reading, writing, and go on Facebook, Twitter, and Path, and Whisper. My world is just not spinning my speed right now. It is spinning a little fast. I will be talking to my mom sometime tomorrow.
I have my shower at 345 pm today and 3 pm tomorrow. This is BS’s weekend. Monday will be here soon enough but I am going to let it come when it gets here this weekend. I am taking the days as they come right now. It is not the fact that I am dreading the upcoming week or anything… I am just allowing time to play its daily game. Yes, boredom has settled in but it will soon pass. I am here at home and not at church with friends and family this weekend and that is the price I pay when I decide to be all alone and I am home by myself with a lovely white cat named Bing Crosby.
I am not really in the mood to write but here I am writing away. This is my Saturday on August 9, 2014.
I really do not have a lot to say today. I am glad that I am not having my shower until this afternoon at 3 pm. I am not in the mood for company today at all but I want a shower for the afternoon and then I will be free from having people around.
The past couple of days now, since Monday to be honest, not having RS in my life has been great! The idea of blocking RS from calling me was a good call but I do have to admit that my heart aches because of the friendship we once had. RS decided to live outside of our friendship and associate herself with different people and the people she decided to associate with are people I would not associate with myself. The fact that I will be civil with RS is exactly what I plan to do anytime I see her in public but I am not going out of my way to invite her to share my space with her again. I cannot have that anymore. I can now concentrate fully on me. I do not need any friends who are going to treat me with disrespect, come see me when it is only convenient for them, leave a message on my phone because I couldn’t get to the phone and they ask me to call back and then reject my phone call in return, lie to me or want to hang around people who they say nasty things about others behind their backs and then be sweet in their face, and someone who does not have respect for property that is not their own. RS needs to have a reality check and deal with her demons and rely on God to help her. I have known for a very long time that she has been very unhappy living here and has told me that she cannot move elsewhere because she cannot afford it. She has told me several times too that she wanted to move back to Illinois where family lives but she has only voiced her displeasure of living here. She has also said that she has write ups for certain things that seem unfair but why she got written up is none of my business but hers and those who have complained and the managers. Whatever RS is going through I can only pray for right now. I cannot have her in my life anymore. I have to take care of my own emotional ups and downs, demons, and spiritual attacks whenever they occur in my life.
Today I had gotten a text from my mom’s husband saying “Mom died last night. I tried calling you.” The word “Mom” and “died” made me scream and cry because the way the text was stated Papa was referring to my mom had died last night. About an hour or so later Papa called me back that it was his mother who died during the night in her sleep. I was relieved but yet the tears and fear were strong and I was not thrilled at how Papa told me. He was unclear when he texted me. I definitely am dealing with my demons today! UUGGHH!
I am glad that no one else is coming today. My shower has been taken. Not my day for company. In other words I am not in the mood for company at all anymore today.
I am more hurt than anything now. I told MJ what happened on Monday when I told her I missed RS’s call and it went to voicemail and she asked me to call her back but after two rings, the phone would go to voicemail. MJ told me that after the first or second ring RS rejected my call. I am so hurt by this to the point of tears and anger. This time I have made up my mind about letting her into my life after this stunt. I am fed up with her attitude and her so-called life here that she states makes her unhappy. She can live her life without me from this forward. I have decided to take her phone from my contact list and favorites on my phone and block her number from calling me by using my smart limits feature on my phone. I am done with her. I am sick and tired of seeing her when it is only convenient for her and I will not be used anymore. Whatever her problem or problems may be I do hope that she finds what she is looking for. I will only be civil to her in the public areas of the building we both reside in and go on with my life without her. She has not been a friend to me lately and when she pulled the stunt of rejecting my call twice the evening she asked me to call her back when she left a message on my phone. How rude is that? I call it rude most definitely. I am so done with RS as a friend.
My world is not spinning out of control but I do have to say that I believe that a certain someone is having the world spinning. I am not sure what is happening but whatever it is, I do not like it one bit. My neighbor called me Monday and asked me to call her back. I did call her back but failed when the number I called rang once or twice and then went to voicemail. I left it at that and texted her saying she called me and I tried calling her back but it went to voicemail. I told her I will not play telephone tag with anyone and I am speaking in general. I am done with my neighbors antics from this forward, I have been feeling used and I hate the feeling.