Spies?

Do I have spies in the family somewhere?  I believe I do and they live in Pennsylvania!  Where in PA do they live?  That’ll remain a mystery to those who do live in PA at this time.  I do not care if these family members spy on me on other pages I have created on the web anymore because they are NOT going to be allowed back into my life as long as my brother is married to his wife who has lied through her teeth for seven years about family members.  Yes, my brother’s wife is a liar and she, although my brother works outside the home too, seems to wear the pants in the family and what she says goes no matter what she says.  She has a major problem or more than one major problem,  What she doesn’t know is that I know the truth and what she has done, through observation before 2008, has not been tricks of my own eyes.  I have been lied to and because of her, until recently, had others believe I was the liar.  Well… her lies are not going to work anymore.  Family see right through her and will not give her the satisfaction she has relished for years to recent.  She owes so many apologies but those who deserve those apologies will not get them.  She has done so much damage … she will not apologize because she believes her own lies as truth.

Letting Go!

I talked to my dad for awhile this afternoon.  One of the subjects we talked about was my brother and his wife.  Dad told me that my brother had gotten in contact with dad a couple of times – when my dad had his severe heart attack a couple of years ago and when he learned that his middle granddaughter was getting married and she wanted dad there.  It came to the point that dad told my brother where he stood and why.  I told dad, too, that I was hurt by them both and I do not want nothing to do with them even if they did change.  All I can do is pray for my brother and his wife and that will be all I can do or I will end up getting hurt again.  Now that I talked to dad about what was troubling my heart, I can move onward in my life.

All week since Monday my heart has been feeling a heaviness that can not explain very well without breaking into ill feelings such as anger and crying.  I have crashed twice since Monday in a 3 hour nap because my eyes couldn’t stay open or awake.  Taking 3 hour naps does not do wonders on getting to sleep after 8 PM easy.

More Thought on Certain People

Okay, certain people in my life I want nothing to do with, is certain family members.  My brother, his wife, and kids.  I have not spoken to them since 2009 and they have chosen to change their number and made it unlisted.  They have lied so many times that made it look like I have done all the lying or they have told me that I have done things while visiting their home when I really didn’t.  My last visit in November 2008 with my brother, wife, and kids I did not speak to them for a year until January 1, 2009 because of what they have done to me every time I visited from 2000 on through to 2008.  I was rather disturbed and hurt by what was going on.  His wife would lie, have mood swings, say I could not eat this or that because I chew too loudly, and I have had the blanket thrown off me because I would snore too loud.  His wife has made me out to be a liar to immediate family that my trust with some family members have been questioned at times until recently,

Yes, I am hurt to the point that I wish them not to be in my life at all,  When I saw my brother’s wife’s profile picture on a friend’s Facebook page, I found it rather nice but how could someone smile so proudly after what she has done to my brother’s immediate family  that does include me?  I found her smile, although genuine to many who know her outside immediate family, fake and with distaste.  I had to block her page and my brother’s, along with their son’s, so they could not see my posts on friend’s pages, and so forth.  I am very disappointed with my brother and his wife!

Be More Flexible Here…

It has been an emotional week that began Tuesday!!! I wish I could explain but I cannot without having some major emotion yet.  I can say that a couple of things were unexpected health wise.  No hospitalization or anything but I do have to admit that I have had a couple of scares.  I did call the right people regarding the health issues.  I am taking another medication for one of my issues – Calcitriol along with my calcium at 12 noon and 8 PM.  I do have to admit that the other scare was only a few hours — the next day — when relief came my way,  At least I do not have to worry about having anymore blood tests done until September 14, 2015 when I go to Madison for my yearly checkup with the kidney transplant team who works with me.  I am just pushing the fluids at this time.  Also, i have my period and that is not fun.  Yes, when I have my menses, I find myself in an emotional whirlwind when things do not go smoothly.  I have, in this case, taken the weekend at stride and plan on not going anywhere,  So right now I am being more flexible to some extent – not really.  I need time for myself once more,  I will have my shower on Saturday at 4 PM tomorrow and after 5 PM, the rest of the day is ALL mine and Bing Crosby the cat’s.

Good Morning!

It is one fine Sunday morning!  I am going to get dressed for church at 9:30 AM or so.  I have not really been busy this weekend.  Today, I plan to be busy though.  I am going to be going to a corn roast tonight!  I am excited about going, too!

I Have Always Wondered Why

When I was in my early 20’s I tried smoking for two weeks but found it rather disgusting and gross, and unappealing to the eye.  Today, over twenty years later, I have found smoking gross, unappealing, and distasteful.  With this being said, I have always wondered why, since I tried smoking cigarettes, why others would want to defile their own bodies with risk of cancer … It is just gross and disgusting.  Why am I bringing this up now?  It is because there are tenants in the building who smoke.

Every time i see someone sitting or standing outside the building and smoking at the smoking corner, I wonder why someone would smoke a cigarette that causes cancer and other problems to their bodies.  Then again, with my two weeks of smoking, addiction can happen and definitely does happen to those who have been smoking longer than two weeks!  I did find smoking calming at one point in time but before I got addicted, I stopped smoking and never picked up a cigarette again and wish that others would stop as well,  We have choices and I have chose to stop and the choices of those who continue to smoke is not my problem.  I just dislike observing people who smoke.  I know who smokes in the building and I have a worker who does smoke as well but she does not smoke in front of me in public areas outside the building without asking me first.  I have a shower gal who smokes and every now and then I can smell it on her clothes.  When it is real strong, I end up getting headaches that last a few hours to a couple of days, and Tylenol does not help the headaches.  Thankfully smoking has been prohibited in the building apartments and those who do smoke have to go outside to smoke in the areas smoking is allowed.

Looking Forward to the Weekend

I am so glad the weekend has arrived. I have had my shower at 9 AM to 10 AM, talked to MM about what was on my mind from yesterday.  I have no plans to go to church tomorrow at all.  The Pastor and his wife are going to Delavan, Wisconsin to the Seventh-day Adventist church there.  I do not go to Delavan.  I have plans to watch TV all day.

A Semi-Busy Day

Today I had my shower at 8:30 AM, got dressed for the day, and I had an appointment at 2 PM this afternoon.  I saw my podiatrist who happens to have a very interesting last name but it does not bother me at all.  We call him Dr. A in my journal/diary anyway.  After my appointment, I got home and got comfortable for the rest of the day.

Working On It

Today I had to make yet another complaint against a shower gal.  That is one reason why I decided not to have a shower – tired too, of course.  I had my shower at 9 AM, went grocery shopping, and then cleaning.  As far as doing my best to work well with my shower gal, I am finding myself in a lot of emotions with my Monday, Friday, and every other weekend shower gal.