I have had my shower at 2 PM, got in some comfy clothes, and have been watching Law & Order: SVU all day (or listening to it) and enjoying the episodes. I have really got into the rhythm of relaxing on Sundays since going to church on Sunday right now is a little hard right now. Even today I have another happy birthday wish to speak of. It is my dad’s wife 66th birthday today and I want to wish SBK a wonderful day. I did call her phone and left a message for her. She did not answer the phone. I didn’t expect her to do so really. She rarely does. She prefers texting. I do love my mom. We communicate through texts, emails, phone calls, and Facebook. I believe we have better communication that I do with my dad’s wife or my sister KLK. Neither SBK nor KLK talk on the phone much. They prefer texting. What has happened to good old-fashioned talking on the phone? Technology has taken over our lives…even my own life!
Happy Birthday Wishes
Today is my mom’s husband’s 65th birthday! Happy birthday, Papa!
Sabbath Morning & Afternoon
For the longest time now I have enjoyed seeing Sabbath come by Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. I look forward to going to church with friends who I call family. Today I enjoyed song service, the mission story, Sabbath School time, and worship service. After church we had potluck (every week at the Beloit church and every 1st and 3rd Sabbath at the Janesville Church) and then after potluck we had prayer group. I looked forward to Sabbath every week.
This weekend I have a shower tomorrow at 2 PM and no shower today. I am just going to watch or listen to Murder, She Wrote on TV and watch some Law & Order: SVU and Law & Order: CI all day.
My day has been really relaxing for the most part. With it being Law & Order: SVU marathon day, I pretty much watched the shows back to back until I got tired and ready for bed. I did read a couple of chapters of the book I am now reading on my Kindle reader. The book is titled “Defects”. When it got dark, I put my book down and watched TV until it was time to take my evening medications and go to bed. I was told that puppy hour would be at 3 to 4 pm and to come on over – across the hall to the community room. I wanted to go but I did not go. I stayed home.
I Did Clean Up My Dear Diary
I did take the time to clean up my Dear Diary pages and I do feel a lot better from the cleaning. I am also happy to announce that what I write at Dear Diary will be what I want to share. If I do not share anything it has nothing to do with my friends at the same diary site I am at. I just needed to clean up a bit and I also realized that I write about anything important to me at Dear Diary anyway. I am a private person when it comes to some things but otherwise I am an open book of emotion. I am an open book period!
Happy Birthday Wishes
Today is NMS’s birthday. I believe she is 83 years old. I will call her some time today to wish her a happy birthday.
Plans to Clean Dear Diary
At the new Dear Diary site I have created some pages. Those pages are “My Christian Journal”, “A Place to Vent”, and a couple of other entries. Well… it has been a while since I have actually written to those pages so I have been thinking about deleting those pages and writing at my diary at Dear Diary from now on without having those pages. Dear Diary is public to those who have diaries there and that is as far as my entries will go. I have to think about it and find an answer tomorrow on what I want to do. If I do decided to delete some pages, I will definitely write what is on my mind at my public diary at Dear Diary from now on. My life is important to me, God, and many other people and friends. I have already begun to write more little entries in one entry per day now instead of more than one (if applicable) every couple of hours or whenever I have a thought. From time to time I will write a second entry if the need arises.
When I am talking about feelings, I am talking about emotional feelings. I am still feeling the embarrassment of what happened to me financially before the middle of the month. I am grateful for my neighbor and friend lending me money for groceries. I promised her and myself I would only get food with the money she lent me and nothing else. I will not get bath gels or non-food items with the money. So far so good with managing the money I was loaned. I have told Pastor Van about what happened and have kept him up to date on how things are going. I cannot wait until June 3, 2016 when money gets deposited into my account for the month of June. I will be careful about spending any money outside my bills and rent. I am supposed to get a refund for ending services with the Geek Squad so that will help until the 3rd of June when it gets deposited. I am not going to go hungry. I’d go hungry before my cat Bing would. He comes first after God does. Bing is my number 1 priority, my fur baby of 10 years now, and I love him very much.
Taking Care of Business
As promised to myself, I did call the Geek Squad number to get an understanding of what was going on with my subscription and refund from the services I have had with them. I have decided not to use Kaspersky Antivirus anymore nor get tech help now since my computer is almost 3 years old. I will be getting a refund in a few days. I was told that I will get an email from stating that the refund has been processed and I did call last Friday, May 13, 2016. No, I do not have any superstitions about Friday the 13th as it is just another day and a number. If I had any superstitions, I would be a very sad person because people would probably think I was strange. I am very spiritual, though, and I already get told that I am a Jesus freak and told that there is no God. So it is the 18th of May and I called on the 13th, and the person I spoke to today took the time to investigate the order at hand even though the call took about 30 minutes. It has not been 7 to 10 business days from my called on the 13th. It is nice to know that I will be refunded the amount in question. With anxiety I can rationalize what is going on around me but I am always finding myself stuck on the situation at hand that has caused the anxiety in the first place and at times anxiety worsens. I am grateful that the anxiety attacks have lessened four years ago to the present. I am keeping an eye on my emails coming in and watching for the refund to be put in my checking account.
I Have to Remember
Let me take a moment here to explain the title of this entry a little bit. When I have anxiety I have to remember that God is always here and I need to pray when time is rough and tough as well as when time is good. I need to remember to pray without ceasing. One of the things I have a problem with is remembering to pray to God when I get into the highest point in anxiety. I have to remember not to forget God is always here for me. I find it embarrassing when anxiety gets so great and I do not remember to pray when rough and tough times come for me as well. I have to remember. I have to remember.
CV is not feeling well tonight so I will not be able to attend Bible study tonight. Another person is not attending so Pastor Van is not able to pick me up.
Burbank Plaza Apartments now has “Puppy Hour” in the community room everyday from 3 PM to 4 PM. It was not my intention to go into the community at that hour to visit with a couple of my neighbors but I saw my friend RS in the community room and walked in. That is when I saw Sport pup and Hank – another neighbor’s dog – in the community room. I asked if this is puppy hour and I decided to stay for a while and it turned out that I stayed for the entire Puppy Hour time and visited with the two neighbors who were there. I went home at 4 PM while the other neighbors also left. I did enjoy my time outside my apartment for a little while. It was a nice change.
It Is That Time Again
I really dislike certain times of the month when emotions get all mixed up. This month I have gotten quiet and ashamed. First I got embarrassed/ashamed of what happened with my finances and having to borrow money from a close and dear friend to get some groceries for this week. When I had learned of my finances being in the negative on one account and my checking account I use did get in the red for the first time and money had to cover the negative aspect to make my account $0.00. Thanks to a good friend, I have some money to spend next week – thanks! I ended up finding out yesterday afternoon why everything seemed to crash and become one thing after another feeling. I had actually got emotionally sick Monday. I just could not really talk about what happened with my accounts – both of them/different accounts. UUGGHH. What happened was that I just got emotional because it is just that time again – UUGGHH. I will have to call the Geek Squad tomorrow. I will get things straightened out before going to Bible study tomorrow evening – hopefully.
A Whirlwind of Thought
I still feel like a whirlwind of thought is going on in my head. It is scary. I feel like not talking about what happened on Friday anymore but my heart, mind, and body is still feeling the discomfort of what happened even though a wonderful and good friend of mine has helped me with some grocery money. I won’t go hungry this week. My IDS worker DB and I went to ECHO yesterday but I had missed the opportunity to get help so that was out of the question. They told me I would have to go back tomorrow but I do not have IDS services on Tuesdays. I have services with IDS on Mondays and Thursdays only, and if in a pinch, they will help someone find to take me to the clinic for a urine analysis test if I am suspecting a urinary tract infection of some kind or dealing with a yeast infection. With me I never know what I am dealing with when it comes from discomfort from down below in the most private area of my body. Please excuse my more detail session or moment but I am being honest here.
I won’t go hungry this week…thankfully. I just now have to make sure I need to pay my friend back the money I was given for my groceries as soon as I possibly can even if it is a few dollars here and there until I pay it all back and no longer have an I.O.U. on me any longer.
Not In the Mood to Talk Much
I have not been in the mood to talk much. What happened Thursday with my checking account(s) at the bank really got to me emotionally, Sleep was hard to find all weekend because of worry since I have $0.00 in my checking account right this minute in both accounts I have. Here I am not doing nothing much this weekend except staying home except for going to church yesterday morning and afternoon, and just not in the mood to talk much.
Where Is Time Going?
It is no longer the beginning of the month but the middle of the month now, and time is going by rather quickly. I think so anyway. After yesterday’s experience with some finances, I am so wondering where the time goes when experiences ride like a roller coaster. Where is time going? It is moving ahead like it should no matter what goes on in my life, anyone’s life around me. I just notice that some days go by slowly, some days go by fast, and some days are questionable. Despite what happened yesterday, I noticed that my day went right on ahead to whatever it was supposed to do. Was I panicking yesterday? Yes and no. I was able to make connection with conversation – thanks to my pastor of the SDA church I attend. I am breathing and moving on ahead with my day. Today is Sabbath and I am going to be going to church in about an hour and I am looking forward to it greatly. I want to be around people I call friends.