I Blame Myself For This One

I only have myself to blame for this one.  I have allowed someone to walk all over me and now having seen the true colors come out of this one person floors me to dismay and disgust in myself.  My upstairs neighbor and most of the tenants here disgust me to the point that seeing them does make me sick to my stomach.  Yes, it is that bad!  I need and should be more careful about becoming friends with anyone in the building.  There is a difference being friends and being friendly and courteous out in the public areas of the building I live in and I have to allow myself more space and be more private.  When my upstairs neighbor goes to her eviction hearing Friday morning I hope that the judge presiding the hearing can make a swift judgment that will satisfy everyone involved at the hearing.  No, I am NOT going.  I CANNOT even be in the same room with my upstairs neighbor because all I get is glares and nastiness on her now ugly and mean face.  Ever since I have learned that my upstairs neighbor believes the manager had gotten her boyfriend arrested this past weekend I was practically floor to the extent of wonder how can anyone even be with another who has been in trouble with the law all of their life?  Some people are not worth anything but prayer for their sanity and situation at hand I guess.  I know I am speaking ill of another but it does disgust me that someone would choose a significant other over the rules of living in an apartment complex and get in trouble themselves to the point that management can do nothing more than to proceed with an eviction order and spend money on going to court to get rid of the problem or give a person an ultimatum and a person still chooses the significant other!  Oh my goodness gracious I am not done grieving the loss of a (once) beautiful friendship.  Oh my goodness gracious I am not able to let go of this hurt yet.  I know now that this neighbor has to be gone from here for me to relieve the hurt I have inside me.  I am obsessing over this and I needn’t to do that at all.




A Busy Day!

A Morning Thought

First thing’s first.  Today is going to be a fairly busy day for me once again.  This morning, around 10 AM I am going to be picked up to go to a memorial service in Beloit, Wisconsin, for my friend and neighbor of 19 years who had passed away on February 14, 2017 at the age of 83.  Yes, she died on Valentine’s day and yet she lived a wonderful life despite some of the hardships she dealt with throughout her life.  This memorial service will be my third one since I have become an Adventist in 1999.  Going to my friend’s memorial service will help me understand here more than what I already know and have experienced about her in the 19 years I have known here.  The idea of NMS being gone now practically floors me because she was so healthy until two years ago or so when she found out she had cancer and other health problems throughout the years and nothing seemed to stop her until depression would hit.  I have seen and heard two different sides of NMS in the past 19 years but I loved her so much and still do!

NMS’ Memorial Service

The second thing.  Let me put it this way.  The memorial service was beautiful but two ladies, who will remain nameless even though I know them, had been critical of the service throughout the service to the end before members of the family and friends could say something about NMS if they wanted.  The two ladies left.  I was deeply disappointed in them both.  I was hurt.  I understand that not everyone understands how Seventh-day Adventists do their memorial services and these two women just made comments that I could hear that were rude and unkind. Why didn’t they just leave.  They finally did leave when members at the memorial could take the time to say something about NMS. Only three of us did!

After the service, I came back to the building to have lunch with the family and neighbors in the community room.  I was very happy to see a nice turn out but I believe that other tenants who attended the luncheon were only there for the “free” food to eat.  Only two tenants came to the funeral and made rude and unkind comments under their breath while there, and other tenants just stayed behind for the food. How convenient! Even Miss RS was there (my upstairs neighbor who has that nasty boyfriend) was there.  All she did was glare at me when I spoke to her friends. She was one person I did not want to see.  Anyway, her boyfriend is spending time in jail this weekend.  He will be out on Monday and back here doing his crap.

I finally left the luncheon, locked my apartment door, and finished the rest of my day at home.