That’s today’s date. I don’t have a tiny rant, really. Things are going very well for me. I should be working in second life right now, but instead i find myself drifting….

Last night, me and Dan went to the Tipp and played at the open mic there. There weren’t a lot of people, so all the people playing got to play for more than two seconds. I adore the guy who puts it together. He has booked various shows for us and promoted us a lot, but besides that he is a really nice guy, and a good husband. His wife Eva is really cool, she sometimes comes to shows and I love to catch up with her. She is really laid back, and we giggle a lot.

I knew two of the other people playing at the open mic. One of them was “Mr. Troll” who I have seen a few times and played a same show (I think there were like ten artists/bands at that show). He is Folksy, and funny. He’s definately got to be a soloist. I am not sure if that is by choice or not.

The Other guy I knew is called Owen and he is absolutely adorable and I could so fall in love with that man. Alas, he is married. We’ve met a couple of other times at a different place and I think we will run into eachother again. I think Dan is fixin’ to ask him to open for us at a show or something. I don’t really know what Dan is ever do.

There’s been some friction between us. Not a constant thing, and no threat of any kind of hatred, or bottled up rage… I dont think either of us have a bottled up rage at eachother. We are really really good friends. He is one of the people I would put in the best friend category. He’s the only Man I have ever had in that category that wasn’t gay. But we still have the same connection, that “Best Friend” thing that never goes away.

What a funny concept… a “Best Friend”. My best friend on the books is Suzi, who i havent really talked to in a few months… Then there is a Real Best friend who i havent talked to in even longer, Shannon. Oh I miss her. I am so proud of what she is doing with her life, and her family. She is teaching montessouri school, which took her a lot of hard work to train for. She would say she is the quiet type, but the truth is, that she is a natural teacher, and person who shares her experiences. We met in a birth class, a little more then 8 years ago. She helped me with nursing, hell she was active in a “pro nursing” thing that i cant remember the name of but my point is that it’s not that She is shy… it’s that She is humble. A few months ago She stopped in at a place i was playing at, and it was so great to see her.

But that isn’t why i’ve had some friction with Dan. I think there are a lot of variables. Some of it is musical, in a sense that we both have a different way we think something should be ( like a set list, or.. a new song) at a certain point… Sometimes He writes set lists, and sometimes He doesn’t. If he writes them, I play them no problem, if He doesnt write them, and I am writing them with Him, we are both naturally going to want to order and play songs that work for us each personally, as well as a band. For example, I would like to play certain songs later in the set because vocally I have to warm up or I cant sing it well. He is the same way about other songs… THEY ARENT THE SAME SONGS.

But last night, it was my fault. I wanted to play by myself at the open mic , as well as with “Fish Fry Bingo” and I even signed up to. I was going to play guitar and sing by myself.. you know.. like by myself, something I love to do, but rarely get to do on stage in my real life. I know from fiddling that you only get good at playing up on stage as you learn how to handle your own sound in the monitors and stuff, and how loud things shold be.

Anyway, I took out my list of songs that I konw I play halfway decent on guitar, and it hit me in the face that all the thngs on there are songs that i got from fish fry bingo, or that fish fry bingo got from me ( my suggestion that we do it) ( not originals… dan has a ton of great originals). and i had this chrisis where i was wondering where the line is about who I am as a musician. I dont mean violin, guitar.. I mean… there was nothing on my list that didnt sound like it could be something we might do.

Dont get me wrong, I LOVE the hilbilly music. But even as a classical player, we played different kinds of things.. from swing, to baroque, to waltzes… and hilbilly does the same exact thing. I play violin that way, anyhow. See, I dont understand the difference between a violin and fiddle, besides what you happen to call it. The truth is, that its the same damn thing, and i haven’t been a “classical” violinist or a “Jazz” violinist or any KIND of violinist… EVER. I have just been someone who plays the violin. A violinist. There doesn’t need to be an adjective in front of it. And the truth is, that I learned to play a violin- the instrument, not the kind of music. When i play hilbilly i am playing like a “Fiddler” violinist. And I should add, that people who never had lessons, and play hilbilly… STILl learned to play the violin. They didnt learn the same way, but no one learns anything the same way. Fiddlers are also violinists. because its the istrument first, and then the sub genre.

last night Dan misunderstood me wheni said ” I am just a violinist” meaning… “hey i am just a person” like.. I dont understand everything having to do with why some things sound good some ways, or how i can do it better. He wasnt chastising me or anything… on the contrary but i felt flustered because he thinks i understand more then i do. and when i tell him that, he tells me I am wrong, and that i am a much better musician than he is, and he IS wrong about that. Maybe we are both right. Maybe I know i am right about my point because i am the one who doesnt get it. Maybe he “knows” i am a better musician cause he feels like he is limited, and probably thinks everyone is a better musician. I dont know why he thinks that. It’s nuts. He has tought me everything i know about what i love to do now… he has a musical sense that post people dont have… about how to present things. He is a great great song writer. I am not interested in competing with him actually… i dont think anyone is better. My statement was that i think he doesnt realize that i really dont understand as much as he thinks i do. I wish he’d stop and let that sink in. cause then he’d understand how totally intimidated playing fiddle style makes me feel. It’s still new to me. I LOVE it, but its still new, and i think he probably thinks that since i have been playing violin forever, that this is a piece of cake but it isnt because i have played other styles forever for years and years… before i understood them… and heres this… for onnly 2 years.

anyhow. i guess i needed to rant. I gonna go pick up my kids, yell about book reports, and then figure out what to do with myself all night.