Here are the newest art pics (since i got the new notebook)

I need to thank Rick for giving me that pet name.

He was eating matzoh. He called it a jew cake. I think that is a serious blow to DA JEWZ. We are a very cakey people, and I personally think that cake is really really good. (Really?)(yes really)

My roommate wrote a diary entry and he dedicated the words of some really cool songs to me. However… I can’t believe one of them was a kelly clarkson song. The only reason i knew it is cause he listens to that fuckin’ music station that constantly lets me lick the lollipop and teaches me how to spell bananas. I just wanna say that the song that makes me go bananas. That and Texas Hold’em poker… mostly cause I am starting to understand Texas holdem poker. I promise to do my best notto get addicted as he is.

I just wanted to say.. I agree to his sentiments that this is a good living situation and i hope it is for a long long time. He is right that we both enjoy having a roommate and we do pair off well….

I know it is an insane concept… an overweight jewish girl and a gay man getting along so well. This is the first time we have been roommates and lived together ALONE. what’s funny is that neither one of us is really all that talkative most of the time. He plays poker and I color.

Speaking of coloring- I got the sharpie silver and gold oil based markers and they both suck. I also bought a ten pack of the super fine color collection. One of these days I am gonna go online and order everything sharpie makes. I need to take some pictures of my recent art. I have been very prolific. Well, I think that I am gonna go play with my markers.

The drunk neighbor told me that someone was on peoples court suing another person for the magic markers they messed up or something. He said that the defendant said that they were everywhere. It’s a good thing rick does not touch my markers ( would you like to touch my marker? touch it… TOUCH IT!). I have tried to get him to color but he is more the paint type. oh well. SUCKS TO BE YOU Rick.

Ok back from spontaneous tangent land.. ( no I am not) (I thought she was gonna sign off and color) (she will… eventually).

My daughter called me and left a ten minute machine message about the three dvd’s in her hand. She said things like ” I am going to hang up… in a minute”. She sure does know how to reach out and touch someone. My son never calls me. In fact.. he does not even know my phone number. My daughter on the other hand… has the phone book in her head. Kids… when you can’t live with them… live a mile away.

If you can’t be good then be good at it!
Bethie

Today Z stayed home from sh-kool because he had a slight fever yesterday. I KNEW he was gonna have it. I asked him wednesday night if he was feeling OK… he said yeah he was just tired. I knew he felt warm to me.

“Then I was inspired… “

we are decided-
two little bethlings sitting on a tree.
sitting and smiling as big as can be
if she had one more
then there would be three….
haaaa life aint gonna do that to me.

H asked me if i could make her a little self. I told her in the language of “4 year old” to go fuck yourself”. ugh that sounded bad… what’s she gonna do make her own baby? Helen is running after her father. I am at MY fathers home. Z is watching the tv.. ZZTV.

my mind is a bit scattered and tattered and torn and worn. and tomorrow’s saturday. (what does that mean?) I don’t know.

Yesterday I was having the physical symptoms of an anxiety attack. It was mainly in my stomach- my lower gut. It felt uncomfortably tense. I spent a lot of the day trying to figure out why I was feeling that way . It seemed to go away in the beginning only when I was being active and so i started jogging in place in my room and then i thought maybe i felt weird cause i have not eaten… so I made a bowl of noodles, and then i put on my shoes and went outside and started jogging. I went around the complex at least 13 times, possibly 17 or 18 because i know sometimes i counted two laps as one. then i got home and i felt like… the second i sat down i felt tense in my stomach again. It was the nervous feeling… like right before you are going on stage, and deep in the pit of my anxiety center stomach. Thing was… I was not anxious about anything. It was purely physical. I was a little worked up in my behaviour because obviously i had this explosion of energy. after jogging in place again i the living room and then aerobics and arm exercises. I was trying to do anything to make the feeling stop, and exerting energy was like this temorary reprieve. When I stopped because i did get a little tired, the stomach thing started right up again. it was coming in waves and it was awfle. Anyhow, i tried many things to not let it creep on me too strongly. That feeling i had is absolutely awfle. Well, I had some scattering of it today and it is still kind of there… however it is obviously not even a tenth of the strength it had yesterday or else i would not be able to even sit here and type for this long.

My friend gabriel stopped by and we were visiting with the downstairs neighbor for a while on his porch, and then we came back here and we were drawing and he drew a really cool surrealist pool table with a mentally disturbed white ball. it is the only ball on the table. It’s kind of cool. I drew a cartoon character for no reason and it is cool also.

Now i am drawing a really dark monochrome.

I can’t believe that it is midnight and i am still awake… OH I know why. I was still asleep at 5pm when rick woke me up because there was a tornado warning. I went to bed around 11 last night. which means I slept for 18 hours. I am obviously going through a really funky full moon experience. That is it. This has been a funky week. It has been a good week. I can’t complain about any mental problems or insanity raging through my mind… in fact i have become quite dull.

It’s kind of cool to be the listener as well as the talker. Maybe i will eventually become a reader again. I miss reading diaries. However I just have not had the patience. I do not know why. Well i am losing patience now again so i am gonn wrap this one up
-beth

I have been having a nervous stomach all day. I am not sure why. i am not nervous about anything. My body just hurt with this nausea and the only time it felt a little better was when i got moving. I jogged in place at home, jogged around the complex for a while, came home and jogged some more, I took my anxiety medication, benadryl, and another med that helps with anxiety. (bear in mind… i was just trying to make the feeling go away. I did not feel anxious in my mind). Well… I just got this in the mail, and I am wondering if THIS is what’s up…

Dear beth,

This Sunday, we’re seeing the first of 2005′s two lunar eclipses. Very early in the morning, the Earth’s silhouette will pass in front of the Moon, shadowing out its light, but you’ll begin to feel the effects 24 hours earlier. This eclipse is focused on Scorpio, the sign of sexuality and the paranormal — quite the exciting combination! Scorpio is the most secretive and ambiguous sign of the zodiac, and you’ll certainly feel a sense of mystery this weekend. You’ll also feel a detached focus on yourself, as the illumination of the Moon, which rules our emotions, will be blocked. It’s an excellent time to take a step back from the details of your life to see the whole picture.

-astrology.com