I don’t know. I am tired and cranky. I could not sleep last night because i was just agitated and Ed and I were talking and some really good stuff happened and then he said somethng to me that i thought he meant, and then he told me later that he only did it cause he was advised to, and no matter what i say he wont thoroughly hear me out. everyone gets an opinion,but its to far to go to say someone else’s opinion is unhealthy. That is MY opinion, MY feelings, and they are valid just cause they exist in ME. Thats all. I kow you don’t agree, I know you won’t agree. I don’t care if you or dont quite frankly. However, You said my opinion or ‘something in the vicinity of dealing with, or whatever’ about trying to nip something in the bud so it CAN be GONE… you called it unhealthy. YOU called my entire attitude unhealthy. Well you sure got your words in. SO I got to hear your words, and before i can feel calm enough to even think right, i am unhealthy. An opinion cant be unhealthy if it is just about something said or done between 2 people and please dont give me fifty quotes proving me otherwise. i know you can but thats not the point. People harbor resentment because they never get it out, and when i tried to get it out 3 or 4 times you refused to talk about it. Then when i ask WHY did YOU bring it up… yo say you were vulnerable. OK… so you are vulnerable and we are all vulnerable. This is gonna sound mean but welcome to what we all deal with every day when we put our asses out there at all. You took precautions to protect your mental vulnerability… now you have to weigh the protectino against the pile you gatheed, and you realize… shit… Now, its even harder. I am very very proud of somethings that happened tonight. that is totally exclusive about the other things. however respect is the reason i wrote the entry. when two people are talking over each other, neither of us canhear, meaning neither of us is being respectful…. ( yes ME too). In this case of not hearing each other…. oh G-d is there a point? I dont want him to be wrong… I want us to call it a draw. Crossing the line is saying my feelings are unhealthy. Who are you to discern that. Feelings dont have to always be healthy, or justified. but they are feelings… they arent tangible, you cant argue with them….and still, there can be an argument…

at what cost? Is being “right” more important than being “needed” at a certain times?. Right or wrong…. what I needed was for you to stop telling me how wrong i amand that my attitude was unhealthy. Regardless if I was doing the same thing. I cant explain why that is fair… but i think you understand. Taking care is mental too. we both have to be more careful of taking better care of ourselves and eachother mentally ( in my opinion only) if we have any chance in the long run.

Slap on the hand to me.
I will try and be more considerate next time, and see day by day if that works.

-if you are going to drive drunk, drive someone else’s car
Beth