No, I have not dissappeared. earlt saturday morning, Caleb came and picked me and another friend up and took us back to his house. I have been taking a kind of “sabatticle” here… writing poetry, reading a lot… watching other people deteriorate with the addition of alcohol over time. The boys went out for drinks, but since they are named Caleb, Gabriel, and Daniel, I figured I have a team of biblical gay boys.

There was one thing that I did not get to mention earlier even though it is really important. If any of you read LillyAnne (a million years ago) I had written on the very day that christophers parents had both been killed by an oncoming drunk driver. The heavyness that followed and events that happened… i can’t re-live… if you wwant to, go back and find it.

After the woman posted bail, she took off, and was recently found gambling and drinking in Mississippi. after she’d been cought… THEN she wrote a letter of remourse.

HOWEVER. Christopher told me friday that his sister (pat) had called him from florida ( which is where the double vehicular manslaughter took place) to tell me that the Judge passed the maximum sentence. I “believe” it is 20 years without perole? I am not sure about the without perold part, but there are two consecutive sentences for vehicular manslaughter.

Maybe in 20 years… she might listen to someone who says ” hey… one of these days you are gonna kill yourself or someone else.

Sometimes, the SOMEONE ELSE’S are our parents, children, ourselves, friends, relitives, neighbors….

When my boys went out drinking tonight. I suggested ( sounding like an old fart) that decide in advance who would be the designated driver. Since I am not going… soomeone has to do it ( it’s usually me). They had pretty much agreed on one of them based on past experience of him not drinking in any excess…. but you know… I would have not been doing ALL I could do if I didn’t ask.

so NOW I am going to lie down. I started the bible fromthe begining yesterday, Did you know that in genesis there’s this big boat so that this old guy and his kids cn get on the boat with animals that would later have to have sex on a regular basis to ensure the survival of the species… ew.

and a side note… *caleb and I are starting to understand each other a little better. I think that is a good thing. Though understanding the depth inside one person is joyous AND painful…. it is the heartbeat of life…

so. SHANNON…. we need to get some understandin’ reallly soon!

Be good and be good at it,
Beth

PS. MY HAMIKO MEMBERSHIP HELPED ME UNDERSTAND