12 hours MY ASS!!!! I left at 9:30 last night… a bit delayed and got here about 1:30pm… yaaaay. and i ENJOYED EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE TRIP… so far… Bobbi is so cool! And I am so brain dead i wanted to just say I’d tell more about the actual trip later (including getting pulled over…. No, they did not even ask my liscence…) I am learning how to work the hair.,….
anyhoe… I’ll be back after whenever..
What did jen say??
Peaches and pussyfarts
-Just Another Stick Shifter
*as reported by Monstergue*
To all the Beth fans out there, a status report. Beth is in WalMart in WEst-Central Illinois buying gloves as her hands are freezing (told her it was cold.) She has officially learned to drive a stick shift and no longer kills it taking off from red lights. She ran into a bit of fog which has put her behind schedule but she should be here around noon thirty. More news as it comes in…….Thank you for watching, now back to your regularly scheduled show.
This is the last chance I will have to write until I get to Bobbi’s. I have packed some jewelry stuff, some art stuff, a lot of sweaters, hiking boots, a few t shirts, about five dozen long sleeve shirts and a pair of socks.
I realized that the Jetta has an ac plug so I can play movies that are funny that I have downlaoaded… like blazing saddles and airplane (dont worry I wont be WATCHING THEM… but they are funny to listen to, and they pass the time. i have music, I have comedy…
A friend once asked me what if I was cut off for a while? we are about to find out.. i bet i make friends with every truck stop attendant from here to cowtown…
wish me luck and G-d… look after my little car as it makes its way to a friends abode!
with love,
Beth
I have always been this collosal amazing packer. That is probably because I have to have every single item of clothing clean before i start packing. i have to see all my choices and be able to pick from there. now i have seventeen million clean shirts and i cant for the life of me figure out which to take. I am deviding them in layered sections. small ones that can go under bigger ones, and megium ones that just get worn alone, and small ones that get worn alone… (but not on trips to bobbi’s house)
I need to remember to stop and get a warm hat and some gloves before I leave also. Shannon also suggested i get some socks… what are socks?
well here it is thursday around 1pm. and I finally slept after my sort of weepy rant about how pathetic I am last night. I am gonna be counting on the bobster to gimme some much needed home cookin’ (with the sea salt in the trunk).
Sadly I am not packed, but I dont feel an urgency considering I am driving… and all I really need is clothes. I have a backpack that has all my hemp (for travelling) jewelry stuff, my violin takes no room, a few little canvases… I dont think I am bringing paint but I have a ton of paint pens and markers and those are just as fun… I burned two cd’s from the laptop and figure if i get really desperate I can pull over and burn some more (I have a bunch that i actually have in a collection.
Broadway music all the way.
Dear G-d,
watch over me while I drive. Watch over me whie I trek out to bobbi’s house in search of a greater poultry experience. Please dont force me to learn to cook from her G-d…
G-d.. please let my flashes be under control while driving and when i am there. They are MY handicap on this earth, and let them not stop me from doing anything that i ever wanted to do.
I have driven all over this united states. 12-14 hours is nothing for me.
Please G-d see that I make it safely.
Amen
Hush now my baby be still love dont cry
sleep as you’re rocked by the stream
sleep and remember my lullabye
I’ll be with you when you dream.
Drift on a river that flows through my arms
drift as I’m singing to you
I see you smiling so peaceful and calm
holding you I’m smiling too
here in my arms safe from all harm
holding you I’m smiling too
hush now my baby be still now dont cry
sleep as youre rocked by the stream
sleep and remember this river lullabye
I’ll be with you as you dream
here in my arms safe from all harm
holding you I’m smiling too.
sleep and remember this river lullabye
I’ll be with you when you dream
sleep and remember this river lullabye
I’ll be with you when you dream…
I’ll be with you when you dream
I am sitting here, 29 year old woman with two young kids. How did I get here in my life? how did I get to where I cry myself to sleep because if fear and pain? How did I get to a point where i constantly subject myself to having my opinion clobbered over and over. How did I ever learn to feel so horribly about myself, even though I try and help people… and love people.
Part of me really wants to love christopher. I dont love him though. Part of me wants to love him for the same reason I take in “strays”. He is another human who’s been hurt by the world. and I feel for him. But when do I start to feel for me? who takes me in? When do I give myself half the consideration and love that i give to other people? and HOW HOW HOW????
I hate coming on here and admitting that the comedian who actually thinks five pairs of maroon shoes is funny is blubbering rying.. scared and wondering what to do with my life next. I am co dependant on chris to survive, but at what expense?
How did I get here in my life? I want to be loved, and also loved intimately. I want to be hugged and cuddled and rocked to sleep and fear nothing. Instead I lay here night after night alone, crying again, wondering what it was that I did wrong. What did I do wrong?
“Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed
some say love, it is a hunger
an endless aching need,.
I say love it is a flower,
and you it’s only seed.
It’s the heart afraid of breaking,
that never learns to dance
It’s the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance
it’s the one who won’t be taken
who can not seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live
When then night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snow
lies the seed that with the sun’s love
in the spring… becomes the rose.”
I hope my finger isnt broken. Chris and I got into another scuffle and the things is, well he is 6 ft tall and i am 5’4 and a half… he wins. I am so tired even though it’s only 12:30 at night. I feel like it’s beena million years since i slept.
I ordered pizza, but when i went to get some the dogs had eaten it. Helen spread my salad around onthe floor. I am not going to the emergency room for this finger.
My dreams are getting to me, chris is getting to me, I want to crawl under a rock. I am sure Bobbi cant wait to see me.
We yell, we fight, we end up in a heap on the floor trying to hurt the other one, or keep the other one from hurting us, he tells me he loves me, his actions speak far far different words.
Learning to understand the language of action is painful. It is so much easier tobelieve I am loved than to see that what someone says to be true is but a momentary myth designed to get through from one moment to the next.
The feelings are unbearable. I need to run away.