and wow am i learning a lot…. I really have a lot to come back here and write… or maybe to vent. hahaha…. however i have to go be a fiddlist… if yer like wanning to perv my shows but arent in second life… hit me up and ill let you know how to tune in! (if i give the url… then ill never know who all perved me! hahahaa)
this is an original song “Poison Picking time” written by my music partner Matthew Broyles of ” the matthew show ” (www.thematthewshow.com)
He performed it at a song writers circle in florida last weekend and I happened to be there…. so I played along ( I am in the matthew show band… so i knew the song.. hehe)
here’s my friend Jimmy, and his dog Mitzi. He’s one of my co-musicians in second life, and real life!
YOU can now get my debut solo album “I’m Not Matthew” (beth Brown) on the itunes and the amazon, and stuff… just search for it!!!
It’s amazing how we grow and yet stay the same. some things we learn is… heh I remember once writing ” Some things learned is wisdom earned” but that was a quote from a younger more idealistic version of someone who thinks too much. I’ve calmed down quite a bit. I guess people are like other mammals in that we dont wake up one day “all grown up” we always and never grow up.
I used to fight. I’d engage if someone was unfair… especially someone in my family. I used to engage chris, let it get to me. Thing is… I’m not the reason that my step mother has a “coming across as harsh” disorder. I can’t call her a bitch… I have come to the conclusion that she isnt a bitch. I might be wrong but it seems way more likely that she had an issue with ” coming across harsh” to people LONG before she met my dad. The unfortunate consequence though is that because she has done and continues to do a lot of learning, reading, and donating of stuff and time… i think she feels that somehow good actions portrray what she *is really like* and thats true… however my peave if i have one… is that 1)she’s really judgemental and 2) she KNOWS that she “comes across harsh” and that if people dont realize that…. they might take it personally
I’ve had a lot of practice the last few years in the ” not taking things personally because people are just who they are and arguing with them makes no sense cause…
well chris blindsided me last night. I spent the day with my friend Jimmy playing music and hanging out. When i got back, chris threw some non relivant comment at me about something my father said YEARS ago… i ASSUMED that he said what he did because my dad maybe brought it back up ? because … i mean its been a dead horse right? why…. and then i somehow managed to hang myself in the misconception of this whole thing to the point that i found myself in a position ive written about before….
Christopher was saying nothing, retreated and i was growing more hyper because i’d been prodded already.
I realized that’s just fucking TEASING, and mean. What he did was not mean on purpose… it was his outburst for being upset about something totally irrelivant. it wasnt about me… and so i didnt let it get in my head.
we snapped at eachother this morning
when he came home for lunch i was glad i hadnt called to reem my dad… my dad didnt bring up whatever it was chris brought up.. CHRIS was the digging up the stuff that he was letting me bury myself in… and why? because he’s used to me being home all the time.
things change when you grow up and kids and stuff. I am out a LOT playing music. it’s what i do now. I dont “hang out” or ” go out” except while working and it IS work. sure… its fun work but i cant just decide id rather stay home. I make a commitment to trade my time and services for money…. like any other job. and its not a rock star life… its just a regular working musician life.
granted that is a very different life then a day job but its still a hell of a lot healthier then ive been since i can remember.
well guess what? I left the house several times in the last month to go hang out with another friend… when i wasnt working ( and to be fair we do play music together also)
I can spend a month and a half working with matthew on a deserted island, iu could talk to burt for 28 hours in a row on the phone… but I do something that isnt expected like CHOSE to leave while im not working… and he turns to eeyore… counting the minutes that he has to wait for me. last time i checked… we dont DO much together… we are able to co habitate BECAUSE of that.
this has been the pre thanksgiving rant
im over it. i have been. it’s just kind of… stupid to go through the tantrums others throw… just to get through life.
Ill have to think about that before i throw my next tantrum
I released a friggen solo album.
It’s called *I’m Not Matthew” and I named it that out of total goofiness because I had no clue I’d ever REALLY write an album worth producing…. but some celestial whooziwhatsit shined down on me and sprung forth some stuff that I can’t even say I know where it came from…. but hey.. COOL eh?
How can you get a copy of this magnum octopus?
(heres track 1 off the album… visit Bethbrown.bandcamp.com to get it all! ( AND OUTTAKES)
I’m Not Matthew by Beth Brown
I’M NOT MATTHEW has been “co” produced by Matthew Broyles & Beth Brown (cause he said so…. shrug) Many thanks to- First Life, Second Life, Mrs. Chmelev for teaching me to play violin properly, Dan Benjamin & Fish Fry Bingo for teaching me how to destroy all of Mrs. Chmelev’s hard work, Broadway musicals, Laurence Simon for making strange things seem normal, Jim Irwin, Math, Bach, Judaism, DearDiary, lower case N, PhelKrowe, Napoleon, Neptune Molly, and my Kids (H & Z)
SPECIAL THANKS to Matthew “Perreault” Broyles (www.thematthewshow.com) for being sane, all the rides to gigs, and that blue funky pillow that vibrates… BABYDADDY THANKS to Christopher Brown- for dragging me and my fiddle to “that fated open mic” AND for constantly growling at me when I refuse to be talented.
Folks that Made Me sound like a rock star
Jeffry Simms – Percussion
Christopher Brown – Sax
Matthew Broyles – everything else, and then some.
… and I Helped… with writing the tunes, and on Guitar, Vocals, Violin, Cello, and sarcasm.
czech it out!
That’s the name of my album.. i think, or the band , i think… I just know I’m not matthew. It’s easy to know who you aren’t, but really… is it half , or even a millionth as easy to know who you ARE?
When was the last time you took a step back from the mirror so far that you actually saw yourself in the light that others see you in? is it a pretty sight to see? don’t you kind of wanna shoot the mirror? ( only sometimes) ( not cause of LOOKS… don’t get all surface on me!) I’m talking about seeing who you are as an entity, becoming one with that, as you glide into the chance to change it for the better. Do you wanna change it for the better?
I was recently told to reinvent myself. So i got some red hair dye and applied it to my hair which under normal circumstances falls under the color category “dark” Guess what? after exceeding the recommended half hour wait time with that shit in my hair (exceeding it by like an extra half hour) my hair is still “DARK”
I’d like to thank genetics and Clairol. ( I don’t know what brand I used but it didn’t make my hair red so who cares right?)
I am now in therapy because I’ve officially worn out all my friends and now I’m paying some chick I don’t really know to listen to me bitch about the things i used to bitch at my friends about for free. Now I know why everyone was willing to help… (smirk)
She says I’m funny, and that I have a sense of humor, and I make people laugh, and that I’m comedic…. but I cant really pin her down on any one thing. I told her about my pogo stick championship back in 1993 but she was unimpressed. I told her I am the best slide whistle player on YouTube but she didn’t really care too much about my passion for teeny plastic trombones ( or Kazoos). I told her I wrote a song called ” Fuck me or go home” and she asked me if it worked…
hmm… $90 a week. and she wants to see me twice a week? Am I that fucked up or does she need clients that bad? I think I’ll re-invent myself this week and then decide.
here’s another one… you can find on reverb nation!