Dear Diary,

I saw Lynsey yesterday, it was nice catching up with her. They’re getting a few last things ready for the wedding. They’re pretty much almost done. They’re both really excited about it, so am I! Pretty much the only two things that are still to be done are getting the bridesmaid dresses for me and Jess, and for me to plan the Hen Party. Haven’t been able to do anything yet, as she’s waiting to hear from the hospital when she’ll be admitted. Once she knows that, then I can plan her Hen Do.

It’s not going to be a big night out or anything – she’s not well enough for that. We’re going to go to her favourite Indian restaurant. I’m getting personalised balloons, chocolates, a table runner etc.

I’m going to Belgium soon – am really looking forward to that. It will be nice to see all my old friends.

Am going out tomorrow night with Anna, we’re going for dinner and some drinks. It should be good fun, I’m looking forward to that. It’s nice to have a local friend. It’s difficult, because I grew up in Belgium, so all my childhood friends are there. The friends that I make at uni aren’t here during holiday time. But by me getting out and joining a few things, like the Samaritans, I’m getting to know some local people – which is always nice.

Still no news from the police. I just want this over with. I keep dreaming about him. I want him out of my mind. When will I be over this?

V

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while since I’ve written here. Mainly because I’ve started a blog for my friends and family to read. If you want the link to that, let me know.

So. What’s been happening with me?

I’ve identified him. Seeing his face again was awful. He had changed, but I still recognised him. I felt sick afterwards. The next step is for the police to continue to gather more evidence and then present their case so they can hopefully bring everything to a trial.

I have absolutely no idea what’s going – the police are keeping me out of the loop about what they know etc. I can understand that – after all, they need me to stick with what I know, they don’t want to influence me with details and introduce false memories.

So I have absolutely no idea what’s going. I just know that things are happening.

To be honest, I am a bit scared. In fact, I’m very scared about what the future will bring. I guess we’ll see.

Otherwise, not much has been happening. Haven’t talked to Joe. Don’t think he’s worth it. I’ve realised that it was me doing all the hard work in our friendship – just not worth it. I don’t like the person that I am when I’m around him, so that’s it. The rose tinted glasses have come off and I feel so much better.

Am also getting to know Anna really well – think we’ll turn in to good friends. She was at the Samaritans training with me.

Lynsey has her appointment with the transplant team mid August. She’ll have to go through a 4 day assessment to see if she’s eligible for a transplant. Please pray for her. If she’s not eligible, she won’t last another 2 years. Pray that she gets put on the transplant list.

V

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while since I wrote in here. Have just been really busy. Was also on holiday in Scotland with my Dad for just over a week. That was fun, had a really nice time.

Lynsey’s wedding is about 2 months away… so exciting! I got in touch with my friend Katie, who’s a photographer. She does all sorts of events. So I’ve asked her if she’ll do Lynsey’s wedding and she said yes. They couldn’t afford a photographer themselves, so Katie said she’ll do it at a reduced rate, to just cover the cost of transport. As far as Lynsey & Stu know, she’s doing it for free, as they wouldn’t accept it otherwise, I’ll be picking up the cost.

Lynsey and Stu are thrilled that they’ve got a photographer. Lynsey’s also got her dress (which is gorgeous) and she’s asked me to do a reading (1 Corinthians 13). Katie is also on the board of trust for an organisation that gives people that are ill their dream wedding – getting flowers, cake, invitations etc, for free from different companies. She’s said Lynsey can have anything she wants (within reason!). So that’s pretty awesome!

She’s not doing so well health wise. She’s been having a bad couple of weeks. Her arthritis is really flaring up, and she now can’t go anywhere without a wheelchair. She’s had the first assessment with the transplant team, she now needs to have a 4-day assessment, which will be absolutely exhausting for her. Please, please pray that she’s eligable for a transplant. If she’s not, she probably won’t live to see her first wedding anniversary.

Things with Joe have blown up… He told me that he was gonna tell Tahnee everything, and that he wants to be single for a while. So he told Tahnee that he and Becky have been sleeping together. She was devastated, but she wants to try and make the relationship work. Now he’s saying it might be a good thing and that he’ll give it a go. All of Tahnee’s friends are furious and sent out a hate mail about Joe & Becky telling us all that we should drop them as friends otherwise we’re just as bad as them etc. I replied back saying it’s none of their business who people are friends with and to leave Tahnee and Joe alone to sort things out themselves. Bloody children. I forget sometimes that there’s a 4 year age gap between us. Four years isn’t a lot, but it is when they’re 19/20. Kids.

I’ve passed my BSL exam! Which is awesome!! Passed my uni exam!! Which is even more awesome – second year here I come!! It’s been over a month since I’ve quit smoking. I got on to a 3 day intensive brain anatomy course in London, which am thrilled about. So excited!

I’ve now got two blogs that my friends know about – one about what it’s like being deaf, the other about recovering from rape. If any of you want to read those blogs, let me know.

Other than that, don’t think much else is happening.

V