Dear Diary,

The Grandparents have left, yay!!! The atmosphere at home is so much better now, so much more relaxed. Did absolutely nothing yesterday, just chilled, enjoying the peace and quiet and having my home back. Felt good!

Am hosting a Murder Mystery party tomorrow. Only one Kylie has cancelled at the last minute, so am having a slight crisis trying to find someone else to play her character. Very annoying.

I don’t think I’m going to tell my parents that I’m bi just yet. Am not ready for it. I’m a daddy’s girl, I admit that. And I just couldn’t bear having my Dad look at me differently. He won’t mean to look at me differently, but he will. I won’t be his little girl anymore. I’m just not ready for that yet.

Have I mentioned how much I love the peace and quiet? It’s finally my home again, yay!

V

Dear Diary,

I got my exam results. Hmmm. Out of 5 modules, I’ve definitly passed 2, the other 3 I don’t know. They’ve deferred it. I missed a load of work for those 3 so have to write some essays over the summer and send them in, have them marked and then I’ll know if I passed or not. Agh.

The Corner Bunch came round today. Was fun. We just chilled at my house. Had a good laugh.

Issy is really starting to show. She’s normal as thin as a twig, but she’s starting to get a little tummy and is wearing clothes that are baggier – she normally wears skin-tight clothes.

She still hasn’t told everyone though. She’s gonna have to hurry up though, soon she won’t have to tell people, they’ll notice!

But yeh, was a fun day. And all my friends were completely normal around me, which is great. Don’t know why I didn’t tell them sooner, but hey. Absolutely nothing has changed. They really are good friends

Am completely knackered now though. Has been a very busy couple of days. Late night on Thursday, Friday & Saturday, and early morning today to get everything ready for the Corner Bunch to come round.

Think I’m just gonna sleep for the next couple of days!

V

Dear Diary,

Went to Tom’s last night, was great fun. Got to his house around 4pm, we just chatted and watched movies, then at 9pm Victoria & Emma came round as well. At 11pm we went out clubbing to a gay club. Was great fun, great atmosphere, as always. We had a great laugh. Tom was upset he didn’t pull though. Victoria was slightly tired, but she said she still had a good time. I was feeling generally insecure, but it was alright.

We left at just after 3am, dropped the others off home & I spent the night at Tom’s. Woke up at about 1pm today. We just chilled at his place for a while, then went to the movies. Saw ‘Because I Said So’. It’s hilarious!! I loved it. Not sure if you guys have seen it or not – but the Mum in that is so similar to my Mum, though luckily my Mum isn’t that bad.

Tom and me had a little discussion about it. He said he wouldn’t mind if his Mum was like that (always in his business, criticising etc) because he’d do it right back, he said he’d find it funny. I disagreed, and said he wouldn’t find it funny, and I’m talking from experience. But hey, we soon changed subject.

Then at 7.30pm we went to Emma’s, where the whole Corner Bunch (bar Helena & Chiara) were meeting up. We’re known as the Corner Bunch, because in the common room, we hijacked sofas and chairs and took over a corner of the common room, lol. In highschool the Corner Bunch consisted of – Tom, me, Linda, Kylie, Victoria, Emma, Helena, Issy, Chiara and by default Dan because he’s Chaira’s boyfriend. However, the rest of the gang have kind of kicked Chiara, and hence Dan, out of the group and bitch about her. Chiara kind of dropped all of us when she went to Oxford, but she still keeps in touch with me, so I try and defend her. She’s kind of a sore subject in the group, and they now don’t bitch about her – at least not in front of me.

Anyway. We all had a really good time. We played ‘I’ve never’, which was hilarious. Don’t know if you know it or not, it’s a drinking game, a person says ‘I’ve never… kissed a boy’ (normally it’s more raunchy than that, but it’s just an example, it can be anything under the sun) and if you have done whatever the person says, you take a sip from your drink. It’s pretty funny.

And then… we were talking and saying how there shouldn’t be any secrets between us, and how things are slightly different now that we’re all at uni, but it shouldn’t affect our friendship greatly etc.

I felt bad that they didn’t know that I was bisexual (apart from Tom). So I took Issy aside, since I’m the closest to her, and Tom helped me come out to her. Well, he came out for me, basically. I got too scared to say it, so he said it to her.

Then about 10 miutes later, I came out to the whole group. Was so scared! Don’t know what I was expecting, guess I was scared that they’d resent me or wouldn’t feel comfortable around me (for some reason, a lot of straight girls always think that a lesbian or bi woman will fancy her, stupid huh?). But everyone was SO nice about it.

They were just like ‘that’s cool’. Then when they asked why it took me so long to tell them, I told them I was scared. Then they all came and hugged me and said it doesn’t change a thing, and that they’re sorry I felt I couldn’t tell them sooner.

I just feel so… relieved. I love my friends! I don’t know why I thought they’d take it badly. I mean, especially since Tom is openly gay, lol! But am very relieved and happy .

A big reason why I didn’t want to tell people is because the second person I told (the first being Tom) was a friend of my Mum’s (she’s also a really good friend of mine, she’s like my big sister) said I shouldn’t tell my parents unless I was in a serious relationship with a girl, as I would upset them. Lisa also said I shouldn’t tell people, as it’s none of their business etc.

But it always felt wrong to me. Like I was hiding who I am, you know? And yeh, it’s not anyone’s business what sexuality I am, but I shouldn’t feel embarassed or ashamed about it. Kimberly (my Mum’s friend) kind of made me feel like it was something I should change and hide and be ashamed about it. But I just figured, no I’m not ashamed, it’s not wrong, it’s just part of who I am.

I mean sure, my sexuality doesn’t define me, but it’s part of who I am. I’m a woman. I believe in God. I’m bisexual. I’m a pyschology student. I’m a vegetarian. I’m a daughter. Those type of things. None of them define who I am, but they’re all part of me. They all make up who I am, and it just felt wrong to withold one of those things, felt wrong that people didn’t know all of the real me, you know?

Now I just need to tell my parents. Then my extended family. Oh boy.

But I just feel like there’s this huge weight off my shoulders. It’s great!!

V

Dear Diary,

Had such a fun night tonight! Had a fab time. Will get to that in a minute.

My Grandparents haven’t improved at all. Nana has even thrown a temper tantrum because Mum put some vegetables on her plate for dinner, can you believe that? You’d think she was 5 or something. She’s ben driving us crazy.

Plus as I was getting ready tonight, she told me I look fat and should lose some weight before I end up looking as horrible and disgusting as Mum. Mum was sitting right there. Isn’t she just nasty?

Anyway. I met up with Paul in Brussels. We were meant to see Fantastic 4, but it got cancelled for some reason, and the only movie that hadn’t started yet was Hostel 2. So we went to see that. Something which I think Paul regretted. He was pretty disgusted by it.

Started walking round Brussels and came across this weird parade. Not sure what it was about. People dressed in old fashioned clothes and costumes carrying various flags and stuff. One guy was even wearing a kilt and playing the bagpipes. Very peculiar.

Then we went to a bar, O’Reileys and had some drinks and just chatted. Was a lot of fun. Time just flew by. 2 hours felt like 5 minutes. It was great. We get on really well and having an awesome time.

We took some pictures as well, and took some pictures of the both of us together, got in real close for that. Then when we stopped taking pictures, we stayed like that – my head on his shoulder, his arm round me. Was really nice.

We were looking at each other as well, he leans in and… my phone starts ringing. Talk about bad timing or what! Was my Mum to tell me she was here and ready to pick me up. Damn it!

So he walks me to the car. It’s raining so he gives me his coat (gentleman or what!). Then I offer to give him a lift back, so we drop him off at his house. I get out of the car to say goodbye and we cuddle each other.

But damn it! It was so close…

V

Dear Diary,

I’ve got a busy social life this week, it’s gonna be fun. Tomorrow I’m gonna go and see a Flemish friend of mine, Marlies for a couple of hours. Thursday I’m going to the movies with Paul and then out clubbing. Friday I’m going out clubbing with Tom, Victoria & Emma. Am staying at Tom’s for the night and the day on Saturday, then Saturday evening Tom, Victoria, Issy, Linda and me are going to Emma’s for cocktails. Then on Sunday they’re all coming round to mine to hang out, watch DVD’s etc.

Busy week!

Think Issy might tell everyone she’s pregnant on Saturday night, she sent an email out to everyone saying she’s got big news and will tell us then. To be honest, I’m slightly worried. She says she’s very excited about being pregnant, that she’s thrilled. Which is great. But I don’t think she realises the full impact. I mean, she says it’ll be fun to dress up the baby, like it will be some kind of accesorie or something. I don’t think she realises that once the baby will be born her life will pretty much end – no more clubbing, no more last minute planning, no more sleep, no more weekends away etc. And she never plans things. For example, if we’re to meet at a house, then she won’t arrange transportation back to her house. Once she has her baby, she can’t be so disorganised. Think it will come as a shock to her when the baby is born. But we’ll all be there to help, as much as possible.

6 more days till my Grandparents leave. Can’t wait. We were having dinner before, and somehow (don’t ask me how), the conversation changed to talk about boobs. So what do you reckon she did? Lift up her top of course. Yeh, nasty. I mean, who does that whilst eating dinner? Gross.

And she keeps complaining about Snoopy. In the evening Snoopy has the run of the house, she can go anywhere she wants, apart from my parent’s bedroom. For some reason, Nana doesn’t like that and keeps trying to lock her in the cellar. Mum backed me up with that one, and we made it clear Snoopy is not ot be locked in anywhere. Apparantly Snoopy keeps visiting Nana in the night because Nana has her bedroom window open and Snoopy keeps trying to get outside. Nana doesn’t like it. But she refuses to close her window, which is fair enough. But she also won’t close her door. Whatever. We’re not locking Snoopy in the cellar.

The thing with the room has been sorted out. The only reason Lisa wanted that room was because it had a phone line so she could get internet connection. But if she gets an internet card then she can use wireless internet like me. So I’m getting the room. I asked her if she’s sure that’s fine with her, and she says it’s no problem.

V