Dear Diary,

Well, it’s 5 minutes until the New Year. Am sitting at home with my parents and Snoopy, watching TV. What a fun way to see in the New Year. Damn this being ill, was exactly the same last year. Hopefully next year will be better!

So, New Year’s resolutions… I don’t normally stick to them, but I’ll try this year. So here they are:
1) Focus on my studies and get good grades
2) Focus on healing myself – both psychologically and physically, no more damn illnesses!
3) Lose weight – the right way.
4) Try and be happy with who I am, to accept who I am, to like who I am, and to learn to be self-confident and feel worthy.

Well there we go, let’s see if I can stick to them.

And it’s now the year 2007! Happy New Year everyone!!

A New Year, a new start. It’s as good a start as any to re-descovering yourself, re-defining yourself. Moving on. Out with the old, in with the new. A new start, time to work past anything that troubled you, anything that held you back. Time for a fresh start, a clean slate. A new year.

Hope it’s a brilliant one for everyone!

V

Dear Diary,

How annoying. I wrote a long entry last night but it got deleted. Was too tired so decided to go to bed.

Anyway, looks like I’ve been tagged! So SaucyGirl & Nibbles 6 weird things about me…

1) I can’t stand feet. Feet are disgusting, they creep me out. If I see naked feet on TV I have to look away (sandy feet are the worst!) and if anyone’s foot touches me it freaks me out. They’re just gross!

2) I absolutely love strawberry jam (think it’s called jelly in the USA), peanut butter and cheese sandwich. You can’t beat that. Super high in calories, but oh-so-yummy. The best sandwich in the world!

3) I can find chocolate anywhere. It’s like I have a sixth sense for finding chocolate. My Mum will hide chocolate all over the house, and I always manage to find it, even without meaning to or even knowing there’s chocolate in the house, I always find it.

4) My feet are weird. I can use them like hands – to pick things up with, change the TC channel, hold a pen and write with (although it’s very messy and only just readable) and I’m teaching myself how to use a knife and fork with them. Like I said, weird.

5) I mix up my words. I get nervous when talking to people and mix up my words (think along the lines of “Do you have a time to tell the watch?” etc). Or I stutter. Badly. Not all the time, luckily, only when I’m nervous.

And last but not least

5) I hate zombies. They scare me. I can’t watch any movie that has even a glimpse of a zombie in it. It gives me nightmares for months. Even the word creeps me out. My friends know not to mention the z-word around me!

So, I tag Astrid04, Areilla, Dananarama, CourageToHeal, PhiloSoph and CherryJellyBeans to write 6 weird things about them and to tag 6 other people. Have fun!!

Am still ill, looks like I won’t be going out for New Year’s Eve, oh well. Lynsey’s not going out either, she’s been put on new medication for Cystic Fibrosis, so we’ll probably spend the evening webcaming to keep from losing our minds, lol.

Snoopy is doing good. She takes her heart medication every night – though not always willingly! So far her breathing seems to be normal again, thank God. Her back is also better (not sure if I mentioned this, but we think she got hit by a car, so had to rush her to the vets, luckily nothing serious, just a very bruised back and bum and some pulled muscles). She’s on medication for the swelling from the accident, and her back now seems almost normal again. Poor baby. She’s been through the wars lately!

Mum is also ill now. Seems I’ve given her my bronchitis, oops… Dad is the only healthy one in the household – let’s see how long that lasts! Don’t think he likes it much though, as he has to take care of us, cause we’re staying in bed. A completely new experience for him. Normally it’s Mum that takes care of the both of us, or me that takes care of the both of them. Mum and me have never been ill at the same time, so a completely new experience for Dad.

Kristina cancelled her flight out here when I told her I was sick. Can’t blame her, not much fun going to a different country if your host is sick and has to stay inside. Feel bad for her though, that’s 200 pounds down the drain.

Have just ordered a bunch of stuff from Amazon, 5 books and 5 add-ons for the Sims 2. Used my Amazon voucher from my Uncle Phil, and some of my Christmas money from my Godmother.

Hope everyone is doing alright and looking forward to the New Year!

V

Dear Diary,

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and enjoyed themselves. Can’t believe it’s over already! How time flies.

I enjoyed Christmas. It was just my parents and me. Was nice, a nice cosy, family Christmas. We woke up at about 9am. Well no, I woke up at 9am and then woke my parents up by jumping on their bed (what can I say, I’m a big kid!) They groaned and asked if I can’t go to sleep for another couple of hours. No chance!

So we opened our stockings. Mum got 2 Christmas carol CD’s & the new Il Divo CD ‘Siempe’. She’s mad about Il Divo, loves them. She also got some socks that don’t slip or slide on shiny surfaces, some Ferrero Rocher (absolutely delicious chocolate – if you’ve never had any, then go and buy some now! If they don’t sell them in your country, order them online, seriously!) and a bottle of Champagne. Dad got some socks, a Terry’s Chocolate Orange, a mug, face cream for guys, a DVD & a CD by The Who. I got some White Chocolate Buttons, underwear with funny writing on it, some DVD’s (March of the Penguins, first season of Grey’s Anatomy, Shimmer Dust, PJ’s & some calanders.

Then we went into the lounge to open our presents from under the tree. I got Mum a Swarovski snowoman, which she loved. She loves Swarovski. Dad got her a white gold sapphire & diamond necklace with matching earrings. We also got her Il Divo’s Christmas carol CD, which she hasn’t stopped playing! I got my Dad some DVD’s & made him a DVD of pictures of the two of us over the years with music and commentary. He almost had tears in his eyes (which is saying a lot, he never, ever shows his emotions). Mum got him a wallet, some jeans, shirts & jumpers. I got a beautiful gold ring with a diamond in it, some memory for my laptop (yay, it now runs really fast!!) and the third season of Nip/Tuck to add to my collection. Our families also sent us various things, perfume, money, DVD’s etc.

We truly are blessed.

We had some brunch and relaxed. Joking with each other, watching some TV etc. Was a nice peaceful day. Over way too fast.

Kept thinking about all those people that had no one to share this holiday with, or no shelter from the cold. People that struggle every day to survive. My heart goes out to them, and I pray they find happiness. In order for that to happen, something in this world has to change, I know that.

I’m still determined to go to Africa and do charity work in an orphanage. I’ll do this after I’ve finished my Master’s degree in 3 1/2 years.

Dpitt and Schneider will be leaving soon. They fly back to Zimbabwe tomorrow. They’ll be staying at a hotel right now. Miss them already. Can’t believe they’re going. They don’t want to go either. Am going to miss them so much.

Am also very ill at the minute with bronchitis, so that’s not much fun. I’ve got a friend coming out tomorrow as well. Have sent her an email asking if it’s possible to change her flights to the 30th, give me a chance to get better. At the minute I’m confined to the house, which won’t be much fun for her.

Anyway, hope everyone is enjoying the holidays.

V

Dear Diary,

Just a quick note to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. Hope you all have a wonderful day with your family, friends & loved ones. Today is a day of love. Merry Christmas!

Happy birthday Lord Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas everyone.

V

Dear Diary,

It’s Christmas Eve. Wow. How did that get here so fast??

I love Christmas. Love it.

Yes it’s true, Christmas has become commercialised, people seem to forget what it’s really about. It’s not about presents. It’s not about stuffing yourself with Christmas food (yule logs, Christmas pudding, mince pies etc.) People get so wrapped in all the commercial stuff that they forget, and that’s sad.

It’s the day Jesus Christ was born. The man that died so that our sins can be forgiven and our souls can go to heaven. If it weren’t for Jesus, there’d be nothing to celebrate.

But it’s also about giving, about loving, about helping, about trusting, about having faith. A time to share with your loved ones. A time for hope.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy some of the commercial stuff as well – though I enjoy giving presents more than receive.

But it’s the atmosphere I really love. People coming together, setting aside their differences, making miracles happen.

That’s what Christmas is really about.

V

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven’t updated in a while, I’m in Belgium & didn’t have internet access on my laptop. I could have used my parent’s computer, but I didn’t want to visit this website on their computer and risk it being in the memory and them finding my diary.

It’s good to be home. Dad booked a flight for me last Friday and I flew over on Sunday. Went to the doctor’s and he said I had gastric flu. So that wasn’t fun. He also said that he thinks me being sick all the time and throwing up and stuff has to do with stressand anxiety, which is what my psychologist said. But he said to wait and see if I have the same symptoms while here, just in case. Have been here for 6 days, and so far haven’t been ill (apart from the gastric flu).

It’s great being home though. I get on so much better with my Mum now, it’s amazing. But I also think it helps that I’m no longer with Peri. He caused a massive rift between my parents and me. He wasn’t the sole reason, but he played a big part in it. Now that him and me aren’t together anymore, the relationship between my parents and me isn’t strained anymore and we’ve started to heal. I love it.

Snoopy isn’t doing so well, though she’ll be fine. She’s curled up next to me as I type this. I got a phone call from Mum saying she had had to rush her to the vets because her breathing was laboured. Turns out she had pneumonia. The vet kept her in overnight and she was improving, so she was allowed home. Then a couple of days later, last Saturday, her breathing became laboured again, so she was rushed to the vets again. They thought it was the same thing (pneumonia) but did a scan just to make sure. Turns out she has something wrong with her heart and the veins and arteries around her heart. The part that should be big is small and the part that should be small is big, same goes with the veins and arteries around the heart. If left untreated she could die, and if Mum hadn’t taken her to the vets she would be dead now. But they caught it, thank God, and she’s doing good. She’s on medication at the minute, half a tablet every evening, and probably will have to be for the rest of her life. We’re taking her back to the vet’s on the 4th January to see how things are going and whether she does have to be on medication for the rest of her life or not. But she’s fine, just pissed off that she can’t go outside (we have to keep her in for a week to keep an eye on her).

Also have some sad news. Schneider and Dpitt are moving back to Africa. They’re moving sometime this month, am not allowed to tell anyone. I can’t believe it. I mean, Dpitt is one of my best friends. I’m going to miss him so much. He won’t have internet at home either, so keeping in touch will be hard (not impossible, but hard). I’m going to miss him so much. It’s not like we can visit each other – he lives in a country in Africa that isn’t very safe at the minute, so I can’t visit him, and he doesn’t have the money to come back to Europe to visit me. This sucks, really, really sucks.

Other than that, things are going good. Went out with Izzy & Victoria yesterday. We went out for a meal first and the went clubbing. I stayed the night at Victoria’s. It was fun! I got chatted up in the club by a French guy, he wasn’t bad looking, but I don’t speak French, I’m Flemish (there’s massive rivalries between the French Belgians and the Flemish Belgians, they pretty much hate each other, it’s a big thing over here. I grew up as a Flemish Belgian, so yeh.) But it was nice. Maybe I’m not as ugly as I think I am.

We left the club at about 3am (clubs are open until 6am in Belgium) and went to an all-night shop to buy some water. The owner of that was chatting me up as well. He asked Izzy why I’m so beautiful, then he asked for my number. This from a 40 year old Pakistani shop keeper. I laughed and said I was flattered, but no thanks. He asked why, I said because I live in England. He goes “No problem! My cousin lives in England, I can visit!” I laughed and said no, he kept on at me, eventually Izzy said “right, uhm, how much for the drinks please?” He goes to Izzy “50 cents” then turns to me and says “for you it’s free.” So I said thanks, then left. That was an experience.

Anyway, we got back at Victoria’s at about 4am and didn’t go to sleep until about 5am. I had a terrible night sleep because it was so cold. But it was fun.

Also went to the movies with my Mum during the week, we saw Happy Feet. A lovely movie, I really enjoyed it. It’s a nice, feel-good movie. And it’s funny.

V