Merry Christmas Everyone and Happy Holidays!
I am trying my hand at the Legendary Christmas Letter to enlighten you of our lives. We have had a few of these puppies show up in our mailbox over the years and they have brought Husband and I to tears laughing. I figure if all the Merry Elves that sent us a Christmas Letter, I should pay my fair dues to them and mail one out. The Christmas Letters that I have received normally contain the typical bragging bits to make you all jealous of the writer’s success.
My major success this year is that Husband finally threw away ONE COMPUTER CASE from the garage (aka: the Land of No Return) two weeks ago. After years of fighting with Husband to dispose of some of his garbage/collectables, I won a battle! I guess continuing our garbage disposal service to the house has been a true blessing to our residence.
The 2006 year brought the wonderful bounty of winning $1 and $2 NY State Scratch Tickets at various times throughout the year to Husband and I. The bounty we GAVE away as presents was much more impressive. NY State Scratch Ticket Lottery has blessed the family this year with prosperity. Thank you Bud’s Mini Mart for the outstanding tickets.
In addition to these incredible moments of good fortune, changes have occurred at Husband’s job. Husband has taken over the company and enslaved the computer tech department to his every whim like a spoiled prince. He shows compassion and only beats the employees on odd numbered days. Husband has proven himself to being an outstanding boss and should be glorified by the New Year with a shiny new red stapler.
The year has even brought the dogs blessings. The dogs are in utter disbelief; I have actually brushed them consistently throughout the whole year. We have sent at least 4 small dogs to the county landfill with the amount of dog hair we have removed from their bodies. Two dogs weighing over 100 lbs. each can produce a tremendous amount of hair. Due to my diligence and stubbornness, we have saved ourselves from losing another vacuum in 2006! In other dog news: Phooka, our (12 year old) white Akita, has discovered a new trick to impress us! She imitates a bazooka by barking and crapping at the same time. The power in her lungs expels in both directions leaving both sound and physical evidence of her presence. She then looks at our dog Nik as if he did the nasty turd on the floor. Another valuable lesson we have learned about the dogs is about food. Pea soup, several days old, shall create enough noise in their intestines to keep you up all night like a garage band playing old polka tunes.
Blessings to our home this year happened to be the upgrade in electrical service to our abode. The professional services of Larry, Moe and Curly upgraded our 60 amp service to a more respectable 200 amp service. The only one to nearly get electrocuted during this job was the electrical technician from NYSEG. He created a major sparks shower and a minor blackout for the neighborhood while upgrading the service to the house. We now have the ability to run the refrigerator and watch television at the same time!
Blessings with our health and the holidays: Husband’s other good fortune this year was the flu that he brought home with him from work the day before Thanksgiving. With our company all due to arrive the next day, our friends and family canceled and avoided us upon verbal notice of his cooties. I still baked the turkey and we had a small feast between the two of us. Husband now has 25lbs of turkey leftovers to selfishly horde to himself. His greatest wish has come true, Husband got the whole turkey.
Until the next Christmas Letter, I wish each and every one of you a Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year.