Sunday:

This mormong Lady Lova and I went off to the Mormon Church. Despite both of us having major issues with the Mormons and our lives not in context with them, both of us still have feelings for the church. As I was a devote Mormon till my late 20′s I have returned off and on, because it is a part of me I can’t shake off. Lady Lova feels the same, but it is still somewhat home to her as her family (ie mom and older brother) are still active Mormons. The two of us like the first sunday monthly fasting testimony meeting, where the members get up when inspired to. But it does feel comfortable as the members are really nice and like to see us, as it isn’t very often.

I think with me though I am getting a little tired of St. Peter’s Church (Church of England), where I have been attending the last three yrs, since I just want something new. When I feel like this I end up paying a visit to the Mormon Church as I know the times and people there, an easy option.

The rest of the day I had been looking forward to my date this evening with the Italian guy, Sergio. He is in his mid thirties, slim and very handsome. I have to say I am very strongly attracted to Italian men. I also hoped he would like me as I don’t have the best opinion of myself, and don’t want to scare him off.

Well, I met Sergio at 9pm at a trendy bar in Goldney. I got there first and anxiosly waited for him, especially to see what he was like in the flesh. Sergio arrived about five minutes after me and straight away I liked what I saw. He was tall, slim, and handsome. He was also very clean cut and a snappy dresser. Yep, he was just my ideal and I hoped as the date went on he would feel the same way about me.

We spent the next couple of hours chatting and seemed to get on really well. I really felt relaxed around him. Sergio must have felt fine with me as he never made any excuses to go and we stayed at the bar till chucking out time. So this was a good sign. During the evening Sergio also mentioned about us going to the movies together in the week.

After the date I walked him down the road to where he lived. We hugged and he kissed me on the cheek, the Italian way. I was certainly horny for him and would have loved a proper kiss, but I didn’t want to push it and make him think that is all I am after. I really did like the guy and would love to see him again.

When I got back to my car to drive home I got a call off Sergio. He called to make sure I had got back to the car safely. So I think Sergio is quite keen as well. Needless to say on the way home I was on ‘cloud 9′ and already looking forward to the movie date in the week. But it felt so good to have a bit of romance in my life as it has been a long time.

Friday:

Well, I am back in Coastal City after my few days away. I have to say it wasn’t the best trip. First of all as my car was unusuable I couldn’t get anyone to look at it till Tuesday as Monday was a National Holiday. That made the next few days awkward as I had no car to get around.

Monday was the annual town parade, but as it rained it was a wash out. The evening was fun though as I met up with my ol’ pub crawling gang. I haven’t seen these for a few months so it was great to hang out again.

Tuesday I managed to get my car into a garage. Luckily the problem was the exhaust. However, it was still a major deal as it cost me £275 ($440) and I didn’t need that at the moment due to lack of work.

Wednesday I went to see the X-men: First Class with my friend Jonathan. This was a really good movie and it was tied in very nicely with the other movies. However, there was still a couple of continuity problems, which was disappointing as I am a fan of the X-men and you want the movies to work together. However it was a great movie and worth watching.

Thursday I drove back home to Coastal City as I had a couple of photoshoots this weekend to prepare for. So Friday was spent organising photoshoots and catching up with friends down here. Friday evening I managed to pick up a date for the weekend.

This was off the Internet, which I rarely use, as I don’t like the crap what goes with it all. Plus I am quite happy doing my own thing these days. But as I haven’t been out with anyone for ages (due to not a scene guy anymore) I just felt the need for a bit of romance and so I thought I would see who was about. I ended up chatting to a really nice handsome Italian guy and we planned a date for Sunday, so I now have that to look forward to.

Sunday:

I am back home at the folks in Cathedral City for the next few days. We broke up from school on Friday and I came home last night. I was originally in two minds at first whether to come up, but then realised that if I don’t, I won’t be up till Christmas due to my month away in August.

Things haven’t been great financially of late. It has been the worst time for me as a supply (substitute) teacher. I normally work every day and most of it is pre-booked. However, due to the recession schools have really cut back. Throughout April I probably did 4 days work. This run of bad look continued into this month, May. It has hit me so hard that I am now having to use my overdraft at the bank, which I have never ever used before.

The last couple of weeks though things have picked up a little and I managed to get four days work each week. On saying that as soon as things seem to be picking up I just ‘crash and burn’ again. For example having finally had a couple of weeks work and planning to pay the bank some of the money I owe, as I was driving home yesterday the exhaust blew (well, I am praying it is the exhaust), so now I have to get the car fixed.

Well, back to today. This evening my folks and I decided to go to the Spiritualist Church. I grew up in Cathedral and went to the Mormon Church from the age of 12 yrs old. Yrs later after serving a mission, attending BYU etc, I decided to give it up due to the gay issue. However, as I have always been a church going person I have continued to look for my spiritual home. I came across the Spiritualist Church about two yrs before leaving Cathedral City and became a regular member for that period. I really got into it and received some astounding messages from the otherside. When I moved to Coastal City I could never get in to it like I did back home and so went off on my search for another church again. But when I do go home I generally go to the Spiritualist church with my folks.

So off we went this evening and what a night it was. As we arrived we saw the medium at front and she glanced over at me. I could feel that I was going to get a message this evening. When the medium started giving messages in the congregation it was really terrible. She was all over the place, jumping from one person to another and back again. She also never mentioned any names and anything she said could have been for anybody. Both me and my mom were really fed up and we both said how bad she was.

Then she came to my folks and everything changed. She mentioned my mom’s mother by name, then my dad’s mother by name. She also mentioned two of my dad’s brothers by name, including one who had lost his fingers in an accident. Then suddenly the medium asked if ‘The Oak Tree Rd’ meant anything to us.

Both me and my folks were gobsmacked as the Oak Tree plays a big part in our family’s life. My folk’s first home when I was a baby was on an ‘Oak Tree Estate.’ Plus two of my dad’s older brothers have always lived on The Oak Tree Estate. Even now in Cathedral City my folks’ road is off an Oak Tree Rd.

On top of all that the medium mentioned that we had had a death in the family, a child taken from the womb. This was another ‘how did she know that?’ moment as my nephew’s girlfriend had lost their baby at 8 months of pregnancy about a yr ago.

As for me I got two messages. The first was that there was someone in the family who had gone to university. I said that was probably me as I was the only one in my immediate family to go to university. It had to be me as next she mentioned how it had taken longer than usual to get the degree (I was expelled for a yr and a half). She mentioned that my grandfather on the other side was pleased with my achievement.

The other thing, and another shock factor, was a message of warning. A few weeks ago someone did a really bad thing across me including slandering me as a character with lies just because I confronted them on something. Anyway, I was going to retaliate and do something to slander his character with a truth I knew about him, which would wreck him. My friend, Lady Lova, told me not to as I had got some good stuff coming up in my life ie the movie, and I don’t need any bad publicity. She told me to walk away as she believes in Karma and that he will get his come uppance. The medium tonight mentioned that something has happened recently in my life and that I need to walk away from. You could tell from the tone of her voice this was serious.

So talk about knowledge from the otherside. I mean all the stuff she came out with she could never have known. It was cerainly an enlightening experience. I spoke to the medium, afterwards and mentioned the ‘walk away’ incident as a friend had warned me off an incident. The medium told me quite sternly that I need to walk away from the situation, so I was definitely going to heed that.

Sunday:

After an awful week of bad schools and bad teenagers I got a reprieve on Friday. I was asked to go to Deane Academy. Deane is a town about 22 miles away. Also Academies are not good news. They are a new style of school, but a cover up for bad schools. When a school is turned into an academy it is because they are on there way to being closed as a school because the kids are so bad. I had heard about the Deane Academy and had actually worked at the original school for a day a couple of yrs back. Despite being a really bad school I didn’t do to bad there, but I never wanted to return because of all the stories I had heard.

So when I was asked to go on Friday I really wanted to say ‘no’ because of the bad week I had had. But since I couldn’t afford to turn it down I accepted the job. When I got to the school I was shown around by a gorgeous male teacher. I asked him what the reputation of the school was since it had become an academy. He told me that the school he was at wasn’t to bad, but since joining with the bad school to make an academy it has gone downhill. So I was not looking forward to the day at all.

However, despte my reservations, it ended up being one of the best days I have ever had. In each of my classes I could see who was trouble. But I got on so well with the kids that they got on with the work as we bonded. One class told me that it was the most work they had ever done for anyone including their own teacher. The one girl told me it is rare she ends up staying in the class as she is always being kicked out. Another class one of the boys you could see was trouble, but we got on good and at the end he told me that he doesn’t like sub teachers, but I was cool.

What helped was my upcoming film. The teens always ask what my actual subject is as I do all subjects being a sub/suppply teacher. When I told this lot I am normally a drama teacher they were soon interested and asked if I had done anything. I mentioned my film coming out June and also showed them the trailer on the Internet. Since then I became a star in their eyes and thought I was cool. But I loved the day and the kids here revived my love for teens.

When I got back to Coastal City I had to go to the doctors. A few weeks ago I got a sudden pain in my shoulder as if I was constantly being pinched. I hoped it would go, but the pinching pain continued. I went to the doctors as I had startted to worry that I had got a trapped nerve.

Anyway, I got to see the gorgeous young local doctor. I explained my situation and straight away he asked me to take my shirt off. He then got me to do a few shoulder/arm exercises as he checked me out. The hunky doctor told me that it wasn’t a trapped nerve and what I needed was a good massage to put it right. He then came round behind me and started massging my shoulder while saying, “have you got a good friend who can do this?” He then moved to my other shoulder (the good one) and started massaging that. Then he started massaging my back. Talk about heaven! I really felt like he was going beyond the call of duty and I really wanted to say ‘you’re doing that quite well,’ but chose not to. But I certainly got the ‘horn’ over the rub down with the hottie doctor.

The rest of the weekend was busy but fun. I recently started a group location shoot for photographers and models. Yesterday, Saturday, was the 2nd one. It was held at a big old fashioned cemetery in the Big Town as I had wanted to do a Goth/Vamp shoot. I was told about the cemetery as it had a lot of angel statues and huge gravestones.

The shoot went really well and new friends were made. I took the delightful Lady Lova with me as she she just oozes sex. I also took Libby and Reed, a couple I had met recently.

Libby and Reed used to work at the local supermarket behind the tills. Reed was a definite hottie with muscles to die for. Libby was a Canadian, and you could tell they were an item. I wanted to talk to them and invite them to do a shoot, but was shy (yes little ol’ me). Soon I missed the boat as they moved on. However, the other week when I was sitting in the jacuzzi at the gym they walked in. I knew I had to take the chance and talk to them. When they went off to the steam room I followed a minute later. There I tooked the oppurtunity and asked if they were the ones who used to work at the local supermarket. That got us talking and it turned out we had a lot in common. Libby was also a budding photographer, while Reed was now a personal trainer at the gym and also wanting to break into acting. So I invited them to the shoot yesterday and we swapped details.

So they came to the shoot and the four of us got on like we had known each other for years. They really were a lovely couple and they also thought me and the Lady Lova were wild and fun.

Another guy who came to the shoot was ‘PJ.’ He is a guy I have been talking to on the Internet lately. He is a handsome guy, but a bit strange. He is dancer/performer and dances in these really freaky hippy bars. He wears all kinds of strange masks and costumes he makes. Anyway, I thought he would be good and invited him along. He too was a really nice guy, but turned out he was a schizophrenic, hence all these strange things he thinks up. But he was another nice guy and I develpoed a little crush on him (yes he is gay).

The rest of the other people at the shoot was another new photographer, who was also a cool guy. Then there was ‘cupcakes.’ Cupcakes was a photographer who came to the last shoot. He was a nice guy, but VERY camp and in your face. For example at the last shoot he pulled out a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs, which was not quite the thing for a location shoot. One of the girls asked him what the handcuffs was for. He replied with, “They are for Paul, but he doesn’t know it yet.” I just gave him the evil eye and said, “I don’t I think so.”

Anyway, I avoided him after that despite all the attempts he has tried to call me. During the week as this shoot was coming up he sent me a text saying ‘I am bringing two models and cupcakes.’ I joked back and asked, ‘who’s cupcakes?’ His answer was, ‘me silly…I am making cupcakes!’ Since then I have just referred to him as cupcakes (not to his face though).

The actual shoot went really good and everyone got on great. After the shoot we went to the local bar to get a drink and something to eat. Afterwards me, Lady Lova, Libby and Reed returned to Coastal City. I had mentioned to PJ to come back with us, but he had other plans.

Back in Coastal City Libby and Reed invited Lady Lova and me back to their place for a drink, which we did. That was a nice finish to the day as I never got home till half ten. But it was so nice to meet and hang out with Libby and Reed and you could feel these were going to be long time friends.

Today, Sunday, was another busy day. Just after meeting Libby and Reed the other week we set up another day to do a photoshoot, which we did today. So it was another fun day with these guys. I have to say Reed as abs to die for. While we were shooting I got a text off PJ asking if he could come over for the evening. I said yes and picked him up at the tain station later. He spent the evening at mine were we talked about life and our interest in art. PJ is an artist and paints the freakiest of pictures (but amazing stuff) due to his shizophrenia. I told him he actually could sell his stuff in New York.

Anyway, despite sitting very close on the sofa nothing happended. I really wanted to get something going as he is a really lovely guy, but due to his mental situation I didn’t want to freak him out. But he must have been keen earlier to ask if he could come over. So we shall see. But personally I am not sure whether to make a pass at him as dating a schizophrenic could be hard work and mentally stressful.

Well, what a great weekend with new friends. It really felt like a new refreshing change in my life. I also have been doing a lot of thinking about my own life. I have been putting a lot of time into this new business venture with Lady Lova, but yet I need to work on my own suff I have let slip, like my acting and photography. I mean I should be promoting myself and not other people. So I am gonna have to rethink this business stuff.

Sunday:

Well, the main bane in my life the past week and a half has been my car. A week last wednesday my car wouldn’t start in the morning. I couldn’t call out my breakdown cover as I had let it lapse a few months back due to financial reasons. So I caught the train to work that day. The plan was then to renew my breakdown cover and call them out Saturday to look at the car, so it wouldn’t be to obvious. I renewed my cover as planned, but still tried my car in the morning on the Thursday, Friday and then Saturday (last week) morning. No luck as the car would not turn over. (I caught the train to work on the Thursday and Friday).

I called the breakdown guy out as planned on the Saturday. After explaining the situation he told me to put the key in the ignition and give it a try. Guess what? It worked. I was so embarassed. The guy explained that it was probably cold and me trying to start it flooded the engine. He said if that happens again to wait half an hour and then it will work. I couldn’t tell him though that the car hasn’t started the last four days. But at least it was working now.

All that day it worked. Then on Sunday I went to start the car and it wouldn’t work again. I gave it the half hour and then it started up and worked all day. But I could not afford that to happen everyday as need the car for work.

I didn’t work on Monday and so I went down to the local mechanic as I had tried the car three times in the morning and it wouldn’t work. The mechanic promised to come out, but never did. Monday evening I went down to the mechanic’s garage again. The boss, Dan (who I have a crush on), was there and he told me the guy I had spoke to had gone home and left no message about the car. I was obviously not happy. Anyway, Dan, said he would have a look the next day, Tuesday.

Well, the car started that day and since it was working they couldn’t locate the problem. Wednesday it never worked again and so left it with the mechanic. He cleaned the distributer cap as he said that could be a problem. It worked great that night, but then gave up the ghost again the next day, Thursday. Dan discovered the problem was something to do with the fuel pump and had to fix that.

After catching the train to work again Thursday I went down to get my car in the late afternoon. Dan told me the car was now fixed, however it had set on fire in the garage. What else could happen? It turned out while the fuel pump was off it had caught a spark somewhere and the engine set on fire. Dan said he was sitting in the office at the time and noticed a glow coming from the workshop. He told me at first he thought the sun was strong then realised it was my car. So out with the fire extinquishers and they managed to catch the fire before any real damage was done.

The car worked great again Thursday evening. Then Friday it wouldn’t work again. I took it back to the garage before catching the train to work. Dan fixed it again and said some of the wires had burnt in the fire and thought that was the problem. So he changed all that he had to do and I got the car back Friday, which worked a treat again. He told me to leave the car with him over night just so he could check it out. The car was still working so I got it back yesterday, Saturday, morning. So after an annoying week and a half with the car to the cost of £350 it was good to get it back. But financially it didn’t help me.

Being a supply teacher I have had a good run since last November, but this week has been awful for work. The problem with doing long term supply you loose your relationships with the other schools you work as they have to get other supply in and then feel obligated to them. So last week I only got two days work, which was back at Rhode Jnr to tie up things there. So I spent my three days off sorting out repairs at home.

I paid a friend to do some tiling in the bathroom. While he was here we went up into the loft. Can you believe I have been here 8 yrs and never been up in the loft. I was the first up there and discovered a florescent light on. Nobody had been up there since I moved in, so did that mean the light had been on for 8 yrs? Yeah for my electricity bills!

Anyway, the loft was huge, and the point of going up there was to see what it was like for a possible loft conversion. My friend, Campbell, is a handy man and said would help me do it. So that maybe the next thing on the agenda. Campbell is a new friend. He is a Mormon and I was asked to put him and boy up for a couple of weeks as he had been made homeless. So it was to tie him over till he moved in to his new flat. That was an issue in itself as why would the Mormons call me when I am not an active member there? But I couldn’t see anyone homeless and took them in. Campbell and I got on really well and now that he has moved out we have become friends.

The rest of the week I have just been getting things together work wise. I had a meeting on Monday with Lady Lova and a local nightclub to put on a show. Thursday I had to resign up with my casting agency.

So here we are at the weekend. I went to an 18th party yesterday evening. This was for Leunis, a South African kid, who goes to my church. He is also an actor and I am trying to help him get going. Since all the people at his party were youngsters were college or church friends of his I only stayed for an hour.

Today, I went to church in the morning. This was quite funny. I sat by my friend Priddy. I actually teach one of the adult group here on a Wednesday evening. The group is a small group of 7 of us, but we are all really close.
Anyway, as Priddy and I sat on the back row of the church a lady, who isn’t quite there mentally, came and sat by him. During the worship songs she was so out of time with no voice. Priddy started laughing and had to do his best to control himself. This soon started me off. Worse was when she started calling out ‘good children, naughty adults.’

Afterwards I said to Priddy ‘I think she was on about you when she said naughty adults.’ It was funny and cheered me up for the day.

The rest of the afternoon I had a photoshoot with a local Michael Jackson impersonater. I wanted to do this so I could have some cool MJ pix to work on with my art and photography. I also got Lady Lova in on a couple of pix as she is a huge Michael Jackson fan. So we did some takes on the song Dirty Diana and naurally we renamed it ‘Dirty Lova.’ Well, after all she is a pole dancer.

Good night!

Well, I am back, but who know’s for how long. I have actually missed writing about life, but like many people get caught up with life along the way. I have actually been keeping a regular diary/journal since my 16th birthday and have many written books at home. I changed to an online diary when I lived in the USA about 13 yrs ago. This was so that my closest friends back home could read about what I was up to away from home as I was to lazy to write letters. I soon picked up a strong following due to my shenanigans under a different title, which got dicovered and broadcast by my dreaded enemy in a toilet cubicle. Imagine your nemesis calling in people from the bar of the local pub into the toilet to show them what I had written about them. Thankfully they either didn’t believe him or couldn’t be arsed to play his vengeance games. So I changed to a new title, hence ‘Bentkent’ was born.

Well, just a little about me. I grew up in Cathedral City in the midlands of the UK. I was a Mormon all through my teen yrs and my ealy young adult life. Being a gay man I tried my best to conform, but couldn’t contain my feelings anymore, and eventually left the church despite having served a mission and attended BYU, the Mormon University.

I am now back living in the south of the UK in Coastal City. I have been here now about 8 yrs and during that time have my own place (well mortgaged), become a teacher, and joined the Church of England to appease my spiritual side.

There we have it in a nutshell.

So for my readers, life has continued plodding along over the past few months. As a supply/substitute teacher I have been working at an underprivelaged primary school since last November called Rhode Jnr. I even had the worst class in the school as they had sent their own teacher home with a nervous breakdown. I spent the next few months turning the class around and for my hardwork the teacher came back to take over. This week was my last few days there as I had showed the class teacher how to cope and with her own class. So now I am back looking for work. Shame though as after all these months I really became apart of the school. I really grew to love the kids and the other teachers were so much fun to be around.

Socially I am still hanging out with the delightful Lady Lova. We have even gone into business together now doing a male only casting agency called ‘Idolic Male’ for top models, actors and performers. The website officially comes online tomorrow evening, but we have already put one of our models into a movie.

I am also still doing my acting and have been in a couple of TV shows. The movie I made in the USA finally comes out in July and I have already been in the papers and seen on ABC. On top of all that I am doing my photography and really need to get working on getting my art into a gallery.

So with my teaching, acting, photography, and trying to set up a business you can see why I have been to busy to write here. But I am hoping to rectify that as one day I may write my memoirs.

Phew!

September Endeth!

Well, as the days have flown by I thought I had best do a monthly catch up. September was a busy month. Being a supply teacher the worst time of year for work is the beginning of the school year. Teachers are notorious for taking time off as they have the best excuse ‘stress.’ But no teacher dares call in sick after the big summer vacation. So the work does not usually pick up till the end of October beginning of November.

However, the day before school started (beginning of September) I got a call from a school to ask me to go in for a week as a teacher had just called in. This was a yr 1 class (5-6 yrs old) and they were really nice. The work ended up going on for about three and a half weeks as the teacher was not emotionally with it. Her partner, she had recently split up with (her choice) had committed suicide, so obviously she was an emotional wreck trying to handle all the questions that come with that. Bad for her but good for me.

I actually really enjoyed the school and the staff just treated me like I was one of them. The kids were great to, and so when it came time to handing them back I did not want to. The kids were probably glad though as I worked them to death. No work was left for me, so I had to plan my own work. Not being used to yr1, the work I had planned for was more for a year2 class. At least next year they will know all the answers.

Not much is going on socially in my own life. Once again all my spare time is working on my photography. I did a few shoots over the holiday so was busy playing catch up on all the editing. I certainly am having fun photographing all these hot male models.

I did have one lovely rendezvous though. There is a guy, Ben, who attends my gay camera club, that I have a huge crush on. He is a couple of years younger than me and is just such a lovely guy. As soon as we met you could just feel the vibes between us. He would definitely be my ideal guy. The problem is though is that he already has a partner. Not sure how things are there though. You see Ben used to be married and has got two teenage boys. The guy he is with now was the first guy he dated when he decided to come out. He moved in practically straight away as he needed to leave the family home after coming clean to his wife. When Ben told me this you could feel it wasn’t the best of relationships. Ben also said that they basically lead there own lives.

Anyway, I finally met a guy on the Internet who is also into country music etc. So when the big annual country festival came around at the end of September we planned to go. I also invited Ben as it was the same day as the camera club. It was a really good fun Saturday evening and I was so glad to finally have friends who were interested in doing something I loved. The country night we went to was really fun. The live band were great and everyone had a good time. There were four of us all together and as we kept dancing together I’m sure people knew we were the gay section, but we didn’t care.

As the evening went on and I was having a little to drink I couldn’t help but put my hand on Ben’s knee under the table. The sparks between us were really going that night. Ben reacted by holding my hand. It was really nice and I had not felt this was in a long long time. At the end of the evening the four of us returned to my folks’ holiday trailer, just down the road from the festival. The two other guys slept in their camper-van next to the trailer, while Ben and I slept in the trailer. Obviously as soon as we got in we could not control ourselves anymore and we kissed and finally did the nasty. It really was amazing and I know I could just fall for this guy (that’s if I already haven’t).

The next morning the four of us went out to breakfast. Ben had to leave to get back home, while me and the other guys returned to the music festival. I just so wanted to spend more time with Ben, and even want him as a partner, but there obviously is no chance of this as he has a partner at home. So I never said anything to him about how he felt. When he got home later he sent me a message saying that he had a great time and being with me felt so comfortable and right. But still you know he was committed to the other guy, so won’t be building up my hopes there.

As for friends. I hardly saw Graham in September as I am trying to faze that friendship out. As the saying goes ‘MJ has left the building.’ I actually don’t think I saw her in September at all. This is totally what happened a couple of years ago when she met someone she just dumped out friendship. The same is happening again and I picked up the signs a short while back. I am really annoyed about it though as we are supposed to be the best of friends. Plus I have realised what a user MJ is. When she has no one else she is all over me and every week she calls me up to go out. But once again now that she has met someone again she has no time or interest in our friendship. I did get a couple of texts off her to pop round for a coffee and catch up, which I turned down. This time there is no going back. So when it all falls through again (as it will do because MJ is not being honest with her new friend), I won’t be around again.

This actually has worked out for the best. Since I used to spend a lot of time with MJ I put other friends second place. For example my new friend Lady Lova (the 28yr old leggy blond), simply adores me and we get on really well. But I haven’t been seeing that much of her. However, now that MJ has gone I have had more time to hang out with Lady Lova and our friendship as just gone from strength to strength as she has become me best friend. She actually is more suited to me as we both go crazy together and even quote silly naughty movies together. She really is a load of fun, and will do things that I want to do as well. At church people think we are an item as she all over me just to play them up.

The only thing different between us now is that she doesn’t want to marry me or have my babies (as she kept on about before), since she now has a boyfriend. But I really do love her to bits, so it’s totally ‘move over MJ; Lady Lova is in the room.’

Tuesday:

Well, the big summer holiday is officially over. Since my week back home I have not ventured anywhere. In fact the rest of the school holiday was more like a working holiday. I spent all my spare time doing photo-shoots for male models and editing them. Tiring but enjoyable work.

I actually wanted to go back to the States, like last year, but I decided to stay home and pay off my bills instead. I should have had a weekend away with MJ, but when the time came she cancelled, which was no surprise. That is one problem with MJ, it’s all about her. She won’t put herself out for you, but she expects everyone else to do what she wants. When we were at Bristol Pride (Aug 21st) a friend asked MJ about doing something and MJ wasn’t interested. But the next minute MJ was asking her friend to do something MJ wanted. The friend turned to MJ and said how selfish MJ was because she won’t put herself out to do something her friends want. I just thought ‘how true.’

Another example is something I always think about. I love country music and line dancing. I don’t go to any country places as none of my friends want to go, since they think it is for old women and not cool. But once a year they have a week long nationwide country festival down where I live with lots of UK cowboys. Despite it only being once a year my friends won’t even indulge me with my fantasy. MJ certainly won’t put herself for her supposed best friend not even once a year. (I have to admit my new friend Lady Lova went to a country night with me in July, so that proved how thoughtful she was as no one else will go).

Another friend that I feel is on the way out is Graham. Graham and I used to be really close, but over the past year his attitude has got terrible. Anything I do he rips to bits. For example the movie I made last year in the USA I was so proud of and what a great opportunity. But Graham can’t be happy for you and all he said was ‘it won’t do any good.’ His partner told me he is only jealous as he has never done anything like that. I have realised he isn’t a true friend if he can’t be happy for you.

I even try not to see Graham as much these days because most times I go visit him I leave angry after yet another put down. I had two major incidents just over this holiday where enough was enough.

First of all Graham said he would organise a birthday meal for me when I got back to town. I didn’t really want him to as he ruined my birthday two years ago, so I never really pushed it. When I got back from my visit home Graham said he had organised a birthday meal, so I went ahead with it. The six people invited were Graham’s friends, even though I knew them. Graham never asked me who I wanted there. Anyway, I invited my new lodger, Dr. Ant, to come along.

The evening started off well, but soon Graham was back to his trick of trying to show me up in front of others. Someone asked if it was my birthday that day, I told them it was my official birthday. (I have actually got two birthdays, a real one and an official one since my birth certificate is three days later than my actual birth date). Straight away Graham started off, “No one has two birthdays.” He then went on with “I don’t know what we’re doing here anyway as it’s not really your birthday anyway.” (Now you can see why I didn’t want him to organise anything). I held my tongue until Graham went on gloatingly with “Aren’t you glad I organised something for you?”

I snapped back with “No. You ruined my birthday two years ago and now you’re ruining this one!” After that I just couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. I actually would have told him to shove it and walk out, but as Dr. Ant was there I did not want to leave him on his own. (As usual it was all about Graham trying to put me down to get some cheap laughs. Even Dr. Ant mentioned later how he thought it was odd that it was my birthday meal and I was sitting at the end of the table while Graham sat in the middle. That says it all really).

I didn’t see Graham for a couple of weeks after that until I had calmed down. I popped round for a coffee, which was another mistake. I was supposed to be doing a photo shoot for his partner on the following weekend and I took round some of the latest art pictures I had worked on.
When Graham saw them he just said, “I don’t see what’s so good about them. They just look like some one’s snapshots.”
I always bite back, which I did with,”Oh so your holiday snaps look like portraits do they!”
“So what did you do push a couple of buttons on your computer? Anyone can do that.”
I had finally had enough and I slammed my laptop shut and said to Graham, “F**k off Graham.” Then turned to his partner as I stormed out “Get Graham to do your photos as they are only snapshots.” After that I didn’t care whether I saw Graham again or not.

So a wonderful summer, where I decided I needed to review my friendships and who was really a friend.

Wednesday:

Oops I can’t believe I have not wrote since April. No excuses really. I just feel that there is not much going on around here to write about. Plus I am really pushing my photography and that is taking up most of my spare time. So I am hoping to get back on track and there is no better place to start than my birthday and the beginning of another year for.

Today is my 48th birthday. Despite sounding old my single, fun life seems to keep me looking young. But how long that will last who knows? Anyway, this week I am at my folks up in Cathedral City as it is the school holidays. Being my birthday my folks took me and some of the family out for dinner. This consisted of mom and dad, my older brother Andrew, his two older sons, Billy and Harry (who live with my folks their grandparents), and Brooke, Billy’s girlfriend.

Things have been a bit sad at home recently. Billy and Brooke were expecting a child this month. Then a month ago Brooke was rushed into hospital with complications. The doctors discovered that the baby had only half a brain. So the pregnancy had to be terminated. It was a very sad time especially for Billy and Brooke as they were really excited about having their first child. They had even recently just got a place of their own they were fixing up to move into when the baby came along. I was also very disappointed as I was going to be the godparent. Billy and Brooke had also flew in from Spain this morning where Brooke’s father lives. They had been there for a week as a part of her recovery.

Anyway, it was a really nice evening and always nice to get the family together. For families we are really close. My nephews Billy and Harry are just like brothers more than nephews as my folks have raised them for most of their years. When I lived in Cathedral City if they needed help with homework and job applications they would come over to see me as their dad, my brother, was normally worse for wear. Also if my folks were having difficulty with them, especially Harry, they would call me and ask me to talk to them.

So the Kent’s were out in force. I do have another brother, Chad, who is the oldest. He also lives in Cathedral City. I only see him though when he comes to visit the folks. We were never that close and his family keep themselves to themselves so I never see them.

Things are mostly the same back in Coastal City. I am still single, which as I tell people I am happy with as I am very settled into my own routine. I am also still supply (substitute) teaching. I also have a new lodger, Ant, who is an Irish guy over here training to be a doctor. He just moved in a couple of weeks ago and will be here for four months. He seems to be a decent guy and we get on really well, which is good.

Socially, I mainly hang out with MJ, my married friend who ran off with a lesbian a couple of years back and has never looked back since. Lady Lova is still about. She is the wacky tall leggy blond who wants my babies.

Church wise I am still flitting between St. Peter’s (Church of England) and the LDS (Mormon) Church.

So that’s it as I don’t think I have forgot anything. So see you back here soon.

Sunday:

Back to school this week after the two week Easter holiday, and typical for me as a supply teacher every day was in a different school. I love it that way so I don’t get stuck in one place with the same kids.

Wednesday evening we had the last of the Bible Study Group I run; in the current form at least. The group has been running since about January and most of us are from the recent Alpha Course. But now they are changing all the groups around, so who knows who we are going to be getting. It is a shame if we have to lose any of the current group as we all get on so well and very liberal in our way of thinking just like me.

Anyway, Thursday evening, all memebers had to go to large group gathering at the church where you would then sign up for what group you wanted to be in. Thankfully as my group did not want to split up they all signed up for my group again. But we also had a new member joining us. I suppose this will be good as it will change the momentum of the group rather than just stay the same.

The funny thing about Thursday evening at the church was an episode with Norma, the not so quite normal one. One thing I just can’t get in to with this church is that when someone is saying a prayer the other members mumble their acknowlegement. This particular evening Norma was on form. While the minister was saying a prayer (and we all had our eyes closed and heads bowed) I could hear some lady calling out “Oh yes! Yes! Oh God!!” It went on and on and sounded very much like an orgasm (think ‘When Harry met Sally’). I just knew it was Norma. Trying my hardest not to laugh I opened my eyes to see Norma in full throttle “Oh yes! Yes!!” As for me I am sure the other members could hear my muttered laughter.

Friday evening I went to an ‘Open House’ at the LDS Church. This was a social for people investigating the church. I went with Lady Lova as she had been invited. It was a nice evening and once again every one was asking what was going on with me and Lady Lova. She actually is getting a kick out of this charade, while I am a bit vary of her motives.

Yesterday, Saturday morning, I held my first Gay Camera Club. This is something I have been planning for awhile as I thought it would be nice to join a gay group with the same interest. So why not start my own? For a first the turn out was quite good with six memebers. We spent most of the morning and afternoon walking around the local beach, boatyard etc taking photographs. Everyone seemed to enjoy it and so this will now be a monthly social gathering.

Not much going on today, apart my two appearances at church. Due to going back to the LDS Church I now attend church twice on Sundays. In the morning I still go to St.Peter’s as I don’t want to give that up; plus I have my commitments there with being a leader of one of the Bible Groups. Then in the afternoon I go off to the LDS Church with Lady Lova. I am also enjoying this as it is nice to be back with old friends. As I said earlier though this is starting to become a bit like a game as Lady Lova wants people to think we are dating and so as usual all through the service she was all over me. This really has been noticed by everyone there, while I just smile and shrug it off.