All these Pokémon and only .26 cents…..

Omg there all these Pokémon showing up and I like only have .26 cents on my card. Oh man I should really put some money on the card. There’s always a lot of them popping up every time I turn the phone on. Trying to go through all of my Pokémon and seeing ones that are not too important, I’m transferring them as I go ugh no fair. I want to catch them all lol. Well just wanted to go vent about my not being to catch them withdrawal. I love this game, it’ll never go old or boring for me lol!

Conversational Piece!

A lot has happened since I’ve gotten on here so let’s start at the beginning. We went to see my fiancé’s family in mid September. Mission accomplished as I would say because the main important thing was that one my fiancé and I got to see his mom. She is pretty sick so I’m glad we got to go see her before anything happened. I know my fiancé was happy and I got to meet her as well she was pretty nice.

I also got to meet most of his family; his sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I’m also glad that they finally love and respect my fiancée for the man/ grandson that he deserves to be. I got to see Grand Central Park, Times Square and take the Ferry. We saved money by staying at one of his friend’s house. The highlight of the moment is that I got to eat all of the yummy yummy foods. I especially loved the Japanese restaurant mmmmm. Well now that we aren’t too far away I wouldn’t mind going over there sometime lol.

We stayed roughly for about three weeks. After that I was ready to go back home to California. We reached the Indiana Toll Road and there was unexpected twist of turn. Yes we hit a Deer. All I saw was this light big brown thing slowly trying to walk away. He hit right front side of my car. I was more worried about the deer than I was my car, cause you know they are living things and they feel.

Anyways in short we ended up staying at the Hotel where I now have a job. Its funny cause when people ask me how my fiancé got to Indiana. I’ll have a story to tell of us hitting the deer. Well today was my first day of work. I was really confused and tired by the way. My sleeping schedule so definitely messed up. I’m that I can adjust lol but we’ll see where this new life and new start in Indiana takes me. A new chapter in my has begun. I’ll update you all soon.

Dream: Black Widow

Arachnophobia: Fear of Spiders.

Yes my friends are deathly afraid of spiders all of them. It actually started out when a kid very young I suppose I ended up brushing up against cobwebs and where I lived back then we had big spiders that jumped. Those things looked like the size of a saucer plate and yes from what I remember they followed you grossss!!!! I must have flipped my mind like I just died. Ever since then I have been scared of them.
I had a dream that I was using the toilet lol and when I turned there was a huge web and there was a big black widow except it didnt’ have it’s usual red coloring on it’s belly instead it had straight line stripes sorta like square like all around it’s body hard to really explain. Anyways the spider tried to get me and even in my dream I was so freaking terrified and tried to run from it.
Another part of the dream omg someone I supposedly known said oh yeah these spiders only exist in Australia and there was the same type of spider on the corner of the hallway trying to get at me thank goodness it came to side of me then I woke up.
I told my boyfriend about it even though he doesn’t like to hear about bad dreams and also told my sister in law. They both said that I think too much or since I’m scared of spiders that my self conscious mind made it into like a scenery in my dream. I think they are right cause lately I have been on spray em kill em spiders mode at home. Can’t stand spiders man ewwww. Anyway thought I’d share my terrifying dream of spiders.

My mom……is always stressing me out….

I’m not saying that my mom is a bad person or anything and yes I do lover her with all of my life. I understand the way her life was in the country she was from but my oh my she stresses me out all of the time. I wish that times weren’t so hard that my boyfriend and I didn’t have to come back and live with the family.

 

The first thing  I hear coming back from my doctor’s appointment is her yelling at me saying that she is tired of my hair being all over the place. Second she tells me that if I comb my hair that I need to go outside. I’m like excuse me? We pay rent. Then rants about how nobody cleans the bathroom and that she is going to throw everything away. I am controlling my self from saying something I will regret so here I am in my room while she provokes bad words. How can you just be rude like that and state if nobody helps clean the bathroom which we do every week that we need to pay her for cleaning the bathroom “insane”.

 

I know that I’m trying my best as her only daughter to be more close to her and everything. As of right now I don’t even want to do anything with my mom anymore. It’s like everytime I try to be close to her she gets worse. She is even yelling that if don’t want to cut and fix my hair that I need to tie it up. I am too old for this bull.

 

I’m so stressed with my life and situation right now. Especially with me having to ask for help with the pain in my hands. Can’t believe they are not going to do an MRI. I was hoping they would how else are my going to find out about the throbbing pain in my hands. It’ll spasm then my fingers curl up. I’ll try to pry it open but it gets stiff to where I just have to let it go until it stops with the spasms. It feels like I’ll never find out what is going on with my hands. The doctor says it’s just tendinitis.  I sometimes just want to give up hope. Life has too many surprises. One day everything is going good the next it’s another thing to ruin the moment. The story of my life….

Cant stand this heat!!!!

I am so glad that it is starting to cool down. I was getting tired the heat. We took the dogs out to the doggie park and actually saw lightening. Hopefully there will be some rain coming up here soon. It’s almost 2am and yet no sleep. I am so going to be paying for this in the morning. Argh I just realize lololol it is morning.

Another person has left my life!

They say that people leave our lives for a reason and that they do so that they can make room for others to come in that better suit us. Today I am firm believer in that.

My so called sister I believe just all of a sudden stop calling. The reason well she doesn’t need me anymore to take her where she needs to be. Since this co worker of mine moved in I guess I’m that somebody they remember when they need a ride some where.

I am amazed that someone I thought was so close much like family wuld just forget about me just because they found an easy access help. My heart is broken in pieces I’m done getting angry, jealous all that I just wanna leave it alone!

Why is that I never learn my lesson with people why do I always get the shit end of the deal will I ever be happy no I won’t ever be, happiness is never meant for people like me :-(

My Sister

I think I am about to lose a good friendship! I’m trying to deny it but I can already feel it coming. It all started when another friend moved in my play sisters house. I felt bad for her so I asked my sister for help I brought her to their house ever since the day she moved in nothing with my sister has been the same I know she try’s but it’s still not the same.

I remember one night I came over and she didn’t over and my sister didn’t talk to at all like she was ignoring me, the only thing she said to me was when they were going to leave to go somewhere oh yeah can you keep her company we’re leaving! You know how that made me feel? Then other times I was over I wasn’t expecting anything for dinner but my friend only set up three plates on the table but they could have offered. Felt out of place so I just left another time when I picked something of mine up they invited another friend and had a dinner thing with music and they didn’t invite me! I wanna cry so bad right now!

I got mad one day and stormed off because my friend wanted to see a movie but ditched me to go do something else with other people, my sister followed me and told her how I feel cause when I pulled up everyone was there partying it’s like they exclude me all the time now. Told her I felt like I was being replaced.

I know that now I’m busy with school but she hasn’t called me in a while! I used to do a lot for these too I’d take them to the grocery store take them everywhere they needed. Every now and then my sister would buy me lil things or feed me in exchange for gas money and my friend I used to take her home for free all the time but I stopped cause at times she would take advantage and be like after work oh I have to go to bank cash my check then to dept store then to target and oh yeah to wal mart to get my essentials I mean I wanted to be nice to help her out cause she had no transportation and made convenient but that was it had enough! I’m still trying to be their friend but I just don’t know if their friendships are worth it anymore you know?

Maybe people are right I’m just too nice. Now that my friend can drive my sister’s husband car I guess they don’t need me anymore it’s sad cause the car I just got has a lil dent on the side from them taking the car seats. Tried to help out my friend with her fam the dip was deep so I ended up bottoming out, I had parked next to the curb and she’s scraped my door a couple times, and those times all she can say was sorry.

My best friend came to the job and my friend had seen her pics on Facebook. She goes is that her I go yeah she was like are you going to introduce me I’m like why? Well if you’re not going to introduce me then I’m going to introduce my self!

Well my best friend added my friend and on another social thing, now they talk all the time. Whenever I try to do something with my best friend she never answers me back. I’m just stressed I guess.

I mean even at work I hear her snicker and bicker a out me with another person. I’m just trying to figure out what did I do to her to do that? I’m not gonna say she has a mtive or anything it’s not like that I’m sure but come on I helped them when I could I would give up one of my days off to just help my sister out cause she has a medical condition.

Recently I just been staying home focusing on school and working. I’m going to stay away from people that don’t need to be in my life and are no good at all from now on. I mean last night we all went to a fast food joint wit just my friend but she had to put the phone on speaker to run it in that my sister called her to come home so they can run errands, it hurt that she didn’t ask how I was doing or even wanted to ask to talk to me at all it hurt.

I am lost and don’t know what to do. I just wanted to vent. It sucks as you get older, I’m starting to find that as you get older you end up finding out who your real friends are and who aren’t its going to be a lonely Easter isn’t it but at least I have my fam we’re not the best or perfect nlbut always there for each other.

Doritos Cool Ranch Taco

After getting home did some math work didn’t struggle as much though I survived! Then along with my lil brother went to Taco Bell with some friends and ate there. Man while doing my homework the cool ranch ad tacos kept coming on. I broke on my diet and had me one and a burrito.

All in all it was a good night. I slept uneasy though like someone was watching me. Probably because we were watching something about orbs and entities on YouTube and seeing the Japanese girl where she turned and her reflection didn’t make it any better until now I still wonder whether that was edited or not!

I remembered my password

It’s good to be back I don’t how but so glad to remember my password now I can write all the time again!

Not so good

This trip is starting to be not so good. Last night my friend was pissed cause she said I snore loud. I know cause I woke up to her leaving. I asked her where she was going to go get earplugs because i snored so lour. I felt really bad. I even got up to wait for her but I was too tired you know. I even ended waking up her bro like Shannon’s brother do I really snore that loud. Took him a minute to wake up. Forgot he didn’t hear anything cause he is a heavy sleeper. He said she will be fine, dont know what that means but I’m still nervous you know cause I don’t want her to be mad at me. Afterall this is supposed to be our spontaneous mini vacation. It is supposed to be fun not a disaster. Her brother is so cute. Too bad I’m not his type. Oh well guess he’s not the one for me. Anyways I’m just gOnna make the best out of what I can get out of this trip.