Monthly Archives: December 2004

Merry Xmas to all and sundry, and your little doooooog too

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8

Mark is in the shower, my mum and brother are watching terrible Xmas time television in the lounge room. It is good to have my little family around me.

XMAS Eve went off without a hitch, I successfully cooked enough food to feed 12 hungry people, and everyone loved their gifts. I set a beautiful table in the end I think, considering I bitched and moaned about the whole time of year occurring as usual, I brought it all off wonderfully for those who enjoy the time of year.

My family, and Mark’s family are so wonderful, and they all get along well, which makes life so easy.

My brother went to my dad’s before he came here, apparently as he was leaving, my dad said to give his love to everyone, maybe things are moving along finally? Food for thought.

Oooooh don’t mention food, we have eaten about 15 meals in 2 days, I overcatered something vicious!! My fridge(s) will barely close for all the things in them.

I have more updates on the private entry front, but they can wait, for when I don’t have such pleasant company to share…

One small update, mark and I accidentally booked tickets for a holiday… a week on the sunshiniest coast of australia wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! Things are looking up I hope!

Warm hugs to all of you, you make my life so much clearer sometimes.

Beginning…

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12

I talked to Mark a bit last night, about how I am scared by the whole marriage, house buying thing, how I am not coping and am so unsure if that is what I want or not. He didn’t really understand, although he tried. I mentioned I might give Kitty’s counsellor a call, see if we can afford for me to talk to someone, am so messed up about life in general at the moment… it mihgt not help, but it might, and I am willing to try anything to make me feel more normal at this stage.

Some days I just feeling like sitting in the middle of the floor and screaming so loud it bursts my ear drums, and I know it seems normal, but it doesn’t feel normal! ;)

I try so hard at work, to bite my tongue and not say anything to anyone that makes me look so dumb, but I can’t help talking, and the new girl here already has a very warped persepctive on me I think, I am trying to hard, but I cannot contain the weirdness!! *sigh*

I just want to be happy……………………………………….

please?

Sucky

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As if I wasn’t depressed enough at the moment, my dad rang bro last night to invite him around for Christmas Eve at their place… I laugh about it in public, but it cuts fucking deeply. Bro tried to make light of it too, said whatever he gets he will split with me, but it doesn’t help much, not really.

I should just get over it, but in case you haven’t noticed lately, I have a problem with moving on from things, even those things that really hurt, actually, that should probably be, especially those things that hurt.