Well, the loan has been approved, so yet again, we are one step closer! Now we are just waiting on the valuation 
Yay!
Thank the heavens!
3
Monthly Archives: July 2004
Stress Relief? Anyone? please?
We have moved an inch closer to getting the house. Now they have given us unofficial pre approval *laughs* I wonder how many more “unofficial stages” we can go through? The mortgage broker assures me we will have a 100% definite answer by the end of the day (that being midnight). It’s funny, I thought when I found out more I would feel better, but actually I feel worse. I am so stressed out at the moment, and work is driving me insane. I wonder if stressing out works off calories? I damn hope so, it doesn’t achieve anything else! Thankyou to all the people who are putting out positive vibes for us, I appreciate it no end! I just wish it would all be done with, finalised, so I can get on to stressing about something else! And I think my nice, helpful, always keen to have a chat, mortgage broker is sick of me now, hassling him about the loan etc. His emails are now very to the point, no idle “hello”s at the beginning! Ah well, such is life, sometimes you have to be annoying to get anything done! Not that he isn’t working his butt of for us, I know he is… Pays to be top of mind though. I am so tired, my stomach pains kept me awake half the night, and once I was awake I always started going over everything in my mind and made myself more awake. I hope I sleep better tonight. I just downloaded a budget calculator and entered in all the things we would be paying out once we start paying off a mortgage. According to its calculations we should have $140 a week left for unexpected things and entertainment. I entered every regular payment I could think of, including a 3 monthly trip to the movies and hiring some DVD’s every couple of weeks, so it seems we won’t be as strapped for cash as we thought, I even remembered to allow for car servicing every 3 months (like I remember to do that). The only things that usually stuff me up are car and cat problems… Ahh well, it is 5pm now and I want to go home, so I am
Hopefulness
I am spouting loads of drivel these days aren’t I? I don’t apologise. It stops my brain from overheating and causing major meltdown! We should know by the end of tomorrow at the latest if we can have our house or not (pending the miraculous production of documents I lost a long time ago *sigh me*). I am still trying not to get too excited, but I can’t help it. I keep going to the website and looking at it. They have put a sold sign on the websites, indicating WE have bought a house! *feels faint at the level of responsibility I am asking for* What are we going to do if we get knocked back? Probably cry a bit, then go get drunk and buy a new lounge suite and bedroom setting as a consolation prize (so I can get rid of all my exes familiy hand me down furniture), wat least that will be fun! Heh I might even be disappointed if we can’t do that. I am focussing all the positive thought waves I have in my power to seeing us living there and being really, ridiculously happy ever after… not easy though, I am such a negative person, although I am trying to change that! I WILL THINK POSITIVE I WILL BE SURE THAT GOOD THINGS CAN HAPPEN TO ME See, I am trying! *laughs* Please please please just call me and tell me it is all okay please please please. I will be a good girl all year if I can just have this one little teensy weensy thing done for me!
Hell.
Oh yeah. I forgot to mention. MARK FOUND MY FUCKING PASSPORT I LOST LAST YEAR! *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah*
Argh
I am driving myself up the wall. I have located 98% off all the documents required. I have had our poor payrool lady bending over backwards and cartwheeling around the room with all the letters she has had to write for me. I have scared my mum witless when she misunderstood my phone call before and thought I wanted her to produce $20k by next Friday for me… *laughs* she was going to try! Lucky for BOTH of our sanities, she was hearing things! My stomach is in pain and I am just stressed out to the max, I really hope we get some good news soon, everything so far has been a double edged sword, it is one step forward and two steps backward on ever single damn item! *I am NEVER going to get sleep without pills tonight!*
Tired & Emotional
I kinda feel like crying today, I don’t know why. Starting to feel like this home dream is just that, even though we are halfway there, my brain knows it will all fall down like a house of cards around us. We would be more likely to hold a house of cards together actually than the tatters of my brain after this weekend. I am busily trying to get together enough documentation for us to get this home loan, but it doesn’t matter how much I gather, they always want more, and it is just driving me batty! If they don’t say yes at the end of htis, I am going to be extremely flat for a while… We have put an offer in on a house, been accepted, and now just need the money!!!
*sighs*
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Trepidation…
I am kind of deprssed. My mum rang earlier, it seems my brother is going for a job interview and leaving working here with me. Guess where the job interview is? Fucking OHIO! It seems his woman over there is now calling the shots, originally she wanted to move here, couldn’t wait to in fact, but now… I am so scared about all of this, it all feels very very wrong. She is twice his age, still married to someone else, although he claims she is divorced to some people, but still living with her husband to others. The mixed stories are the scariest part, Kitty hears some things, mum hears others, and I hear different versions yet again. But even the mixed stories aren’t as worrying as his total silence on most things to do with her. He doesn’t appear to know what she does for a living, or any of those little things you cannot help talking about at some point as you get to know someone. Either he doesn’t want us to know things about her, or he hasn’t managed to find it out himself. Either scenario is scary. Bro has always been so open with us all, about his life and loves, not a thought would be hidden, but ever since he met her he has been withdrawn and distant from us all and it is getting worse all the time. He is moody and anti social, preferring to stay home as often as possible to talk to her, to be at her beck and call. He disrupts his sleep every night to wake up and talk to her when she is free then goes back to sleep again, he looks terrible. I just don’t know what to think, what to do. I know I cannot change his mind, but I don’t even know how to get him to talk to me about it, to help me set aside some of my fears, as all his defenses go up immediately when one of us tries to talk about her. We only want him to be happy, and if I thought moving to the US to be with someone would make him happy, I would be over the moon, but all I get is a feeling of dread about it all….
TISM, soup and boobies
It has been a really weird week, ups and downs, highs and lows, ummm what other terms can I use that all mean the same thing? heh. Tuesday night I picked Kitty up after work and went home to get Mark and go to the screening of the TISM DVD at “Federation Square’s The Centre for the Moving Image” (blah, friggin poncy ugly building). I had never been there, despite assuring my teacher I had, when I completed an assignment on it last semester. It is even wrose inside, everyone kept telling me once you go inside it is heaps better, bullshit. Yeah minimalism is a craze and all, but if you can’t find the bloody toilets because they have been made to blend into the walls, and you are DYING to take a piss, then it really blows. So we saw the couple from K’s wedding again, Kitty freaked them out, we told her to grope them, so she did unquestioningly, although they weren’t surprised to find out she was ours in the end. *laughs* I am rambling, hopefully this entry will mean more something to me one day. More than it no doubt means right now to people who have no idea what I am on about! What’s a TISM? What’s Fed Sq? Who are these PEOPLE she is talking about? Sorry to the non-Australians… hope those links help. Anyways, the DVD screening was good, although punctuated by pathetic interviews with people no one cares about, directors, editors, sound technicians. They did their best to entertain, but when someone yelled out “where’s the fucking band?” I think they knew their cause was hopeless! The intro guy, who organised the screening opened the floor before the show (wow, must have been a magician, cough kaboom) for questions. Someone asked if TISM would sign merchandise after the show,and was told they would. I decided to be a smart ass, yelled out “Will they sign my breasts?” The guy blushed and said he couldn’t speak for the band, then addressed the audience witht he “this is an over 18′s show here, anyone with delicate sensibilities that might find the show offensive should leave now” *laughs* he knew the answer…… Someone else up the back yelled out to ask what I had said that prompted such a spiel… The announcer assured them it was crude and vulgar and didn’t need repeating *grins*. Kitty stood up and yelled back “It was about BOOBIES!” Hah. Juvenility rocks. Is that a word? After the show we headed out to the foyer to meet the guys, Mark went back to the car to get our DVD and my camera. We queued up for a while, and I hopped from foot to foot (remember those elusive, inconspicuous toilets?). I decided I would get my boobs signed, well my bra anyway. I managed to wriggle out of my t-shirt from underneath my jacket, and when we got to the front of the line, I unzipped my jacket and presented my white bra to be signed… Ron looked kind of surprised, and he shook his head, but he signed it. HBF was rapt, he exclaimed “finally it has happened” and proceeded to draw a spiral around my nipple along with his autograph. We posed for a few photos with them, with Kitty groping me as well, then Ron tried to avoid our eyes and talk to mark who he obviously thought looked more sane, until I introduced him as my husband *chuckles* AFter posing for a while, I was rummaging through my bag trying to find something and I came across the container of soup I hadn’t eaten for lunch. We spontaneously decided to autograph the soup and give it to TISM as a souvenir of us…. “All our love, Nurse Kitty and Best Boobs Ever. TISM ARE SHIT!” I think they were surprised to find their fans are far weirder than themselves. HBF told me I had great tits, *yay me* They still had the soup when they left! Unfortunately my computer has been riddled with virii at home, and I have had to reinstall a bunch of programs, and I cannot find my sony CD to reinstall the camera software, so I cannot download my photos *sigh*. Ah well, it will turn up eventually! So yes, we had a juvenile night of entertainment, and my brother was very sorry he missed it, damn night shift work! On a more adult note, we might be buying a house in the next few weeks (seems like the people I was just talking about shouldn’t be ALLOWED that much responsibility in life hey?). We will know by Wednesday if the bank is happy with our application, and will have pre approval to run off and spend $275k if they are. Wow. Holy shit. Um. Yeah. Mark and I have some different ideas on what we want, but we will find something we agree on soon. The house we both liked got sold out from under us, although by 5pm tonight we will know if their finance ws approved, and if it wasn’t we may have a second shot at it. *crosses fingers* I had this weird ass dream last night. Dylan’s band was playing at Dream night club (which does exist, but I have never even seen it) and when we got there, it was this great gothic mansion with huge tombstones and everything, and we thought it was awesome. Hayley was with us, but she looked like Summer from Neighbours. When we got inside we realised it wasn’t a night club, but an actual house, and there were all these people everywhere made up like dead people, but serving drinks etc. Then some bell chimed and they started trying to kill all the guests, there were all these lasers flashing out from the walls that were slicing people apart. I tried to save Hayley, but she vanished into some hallway and I couldn’t find her…. Weird. Ah well, I am forgetting what even happened as I type it…
Power lines, big fish and lateness
I don’t really have an awful lot to say, but I have this feeling that it is going to take me a lot of words to get it down… *sigh* one of those moods has taken me. Part of me wants to set down some roots, make a home and a settled life, something that is ours, something I can be proud of, and know it will always be there to come back to. But part of me still wants to be this person who isn’t tied down to anything, free to pack up and move every 12 months to a new house, a new area, if not a new job. That part of me is terrified of making this huge commitment to so many people, to my beloved husband, to the banks and to the house itself, what if I am not meant to be that stable and solid? What if I am just not made that way? Ah well, something to ponder. —————————————————————– We looked at some rat infested hovels on the weekend, (okay, well I didn’t actually SEE any rats, and well come to think of it, I actally quite like the little critters, but you know what I mean!), and were starting to draw the logical conclusion, that we cannot afford to buy a house that is liveable. There were renovators dreams, builders delights, and the ever popular “low maintenance yards” (I guess you can’t get much more low maintenance than a 1m x 1m square of asphalt!). There were brown and orange paisley carpets, and lounge rooms whose floor boards sunk in the middle, there was an even a house where the owners had converted the built in wardrobe to an “ensuite” with a toilet and shower, that appeared to be used to store the extra cereal boxes the owners had that wouldn’t fit in the “cozy” kitchen’s “cupboards”. We looked at one place that fit ALL of the above, and was opposite the commission housing flats as well, how lucky could one young first home buying couple get? We also found some real gems, and would dearly love to make an offer and find out if I am destined to be a home buyer or not, but by the time we get all our paperwork together, other people will have made offers, but now we know there are places out there that it might be possible to make a bid for one day in the hopefully not so distant future (of course both the places we like have a spa, and one of them even has a bar (I can overlook pool table green carpet in favour of a spa and a bar it seems!)). At the moment I am researching what the known effects of living within close proximity to high voltage power lines are… so far I have found no conclusive evidence of any effects, just a whole lot of conflicting arguments from people who seem to know nothing, damn the internet is full of useless information! Does anyone reading this have any information to add on this topic? One of the houses we like has that problem, it isn’t near the actual pylon towers, but the poles down the street are pretty bloody huge! —————————————————————– We watched 3 movies on Saturday night as I was in much pain (damn back) and was not in the mood for going out. We watched ‘Along Came Polly’, ‘Big Fish’ and ‘Underworld’ (yeah we thought we would pick movies from all different genres for a change). Along Came Polly – wasn’t a bad movie, and Mark certainly laughed his little butt off at all the usual Ben Stiller humour, but I just don’t think I was in the mood, and Jennifer Aniston is so annoyingly perfect that I detest watching her for longer than a few minutes. It did have it’s good moments, but I would have preferred a less happy ending, he should have gone back to Stacey (Debra Messing will always behalf of Ned & Stacey to me) and lived miserably ever after as she cheated on him with a whole procession of pool boys, milkmen and finally, his grotesquely proportioned best friend. But that’s just me… Big Fish – what a fantastic movie! Mark rolled his eyes rather ferociously when he saw Ewan McGregor was in it, and even more so when he realised it was only rated PG, but I convinced him, and we both thoroughly enjoyed it, even though the spooky jumping spiders personified a recurring nightmare I have. It has been a long time since I have seen a movie that could be carried purely by the strength of the characters and the story line. A movie where any special effects merely add to the movie, they don’t create it. Everyone MUST see this movie, and I haven’t said that since Lilo & Stitch! Underworld – Was not bad, but it couldn’t compare to Blade for a great vampire movie unfortunately (although it wiped the floor with Blade II). It was a little Matrix-y (although the Selene was considerably more attractive in the black leather/latex look than Trinity!) bot not so much that you wanted to grind your teeth into the DVD until it became a splintered mess (I won’t say anything about the state of your teeth after that either!). I am glad we finally saw it, and I shall keep my breath held until the sequel (I am sure it won’t be far off, and it will probably contain as much gratuitous romance and stomach turning sappiness as Blade’s sequel). —————————————————————– Hmm told you it would be a long rambling entry! But it is 4pm now, and I have some more work to finish before I can go (after SOMEONE made me an hour late to work this morning *cough cough, poke poke, point point*) Hehe. Tootle-pip!