Monthly Archives: December 2003

So that was Christmas

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It wasn’t terribly eventful, had a nice, if a little strained, dinner with Mark’s family on Xmas Eve (only strained because his cousins are FREAAAAAKS and incredibly rude, but it wasn’t too bad. My brother came along as well (after I picked him up from my father’s place where he came out with a $67 profit, wheee!).

Xmas Day was with my freaky (in a GOOD way this time) uncle, aunty and cousins, they are all so funny, we had a very alcoholfueledfuntime up at their place. I didn’t cry once this year, it was a big improvement over the last couple.

I did my back two days ago, I have been basically bed ridden, although we had a BBQ yesterday which I dragged myself up to prepare for, but Mum came over and helped out for a bit. I was fine til mark’s grandfather gave me his customary poke in the ribs as hello, jarring my poor injured spine completely out of whack. Poor guy felt so bad, but I couldn’t stop crying, I have a very low pain threshold.

Eh I don’t even feel like writing, so a belated Merry Christmas and all that to everyone!! And Congraaaaaaaats to Leiley on the upcoming WEDDING plans if you are reading this :)

So last night I was miserable

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As I was leaving my brother told me there was to be a change of plans for Xmas Eve, it appears Dad wants him to go to their traditional mas Eve Party, and despite the fact that he was planning on coming home with me and coming to Mark’s mum’s for Xmas Eve, he was going to go, if I don’t mind. I told him I don’t care, it is his father, and it is up to him if he wants to associate with him, I will never tell him he can’t.

It just hurts because I know they are doing this intentionally, making a fuss over my brother, to try to hurt me. They never cared about him before…

So I walked off to my car and bawled my eyes out all the way home. I rang Mark to see if he was on his way home or still at the pub, I didn’t want to sound like a nagging wife, but I needed some love, fortunately he was just finishing a game of pool and they were all leaving anyways.

He gets so mad at my dad for upsetting me, and then he gets mad at my brother for going along with it, but I never even told bro that I was upset at all, so how is he supposed to know? I don’t want to ruin any hope of them having some semblance of a normal father/son relationship one day, just by being me.

So Mark took me to the movies, gold class, and out for dinner, to cheer me up, he is such a sweetheart. We saw Scary Movie 3, pretty lame, but just what I needed!

So I have to just try to pick myself up and not care.

We are picking my brother up from my dad’s at 5:00pm tomorrow to make it to his mum’s at 6:00pm. Apparently bro told my dad that we are going up to my uncle and auntie’s for Xmas Eve… oh well. I guess saying he made plans with me earlier, before he knew they gave a shit, was out of the question. *frowns*

I hate Christmas.

Sick of being a whining little cow too, I hate myself like this, it shouldn’t bother me.

Not happy.

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So yesterday I was really tired and grumpy after our work Christmas party the night before, but I didn’t want to waste the tickets we had bought months earlier to an Art History of Surfing exhibition at a Gallery in the city.

We dragged ourselves into the city, paid $10 for parking and trudged through the Christmas shoppers to the gallery, only to find it wasn’t where it used to be. We hunted around for a while and finally found the place, but it had closed. There were empty boxes inside and tons of posters up for the exhibition, but no exhibition. We were not happy, having now forked out $35 for this thing, including parking.

So I ring ticketmaster today and sit on hold for 20 minutes to be told that there is nothing they can do but give me the number of a guy who is handling the matter. I ring this number, disconnected. I look up the art gallery numbers in the whitepages, all disconnected.

So now I sit on hold to Ticketmaster again getting very FUCKING ANGRY, and trying not to take it out on them as it is NOT their fault…

See why I hate poncy things like art galleries?

In Memory

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On the 11th of November last year, my beloved Minifat died. I still cry when I think about him and how much I miss him.

My snowball as well on the 7th of Jan this year, it just still hurts.

I guess given my mood today it is fitting I sit here and dwell on my losses.

So I have a flat tyre

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And my jack is completely inappropriate for my car, the suspension just lifts and lifts and the wheels stay firmly planted on the ground. So I got Musik’s brother to come and help me, with no luck, his jack is no better. So now I sit here waiting for roadside assistance to show up and change my tire for me, feeling like a complete and utter dolt. It has been 55 minutes since I called them.

Okay so the RACV came with their hydraulic trolley jack which is the only way to go, only to discover that my spare tyre is from an older Ford and doesn’t fit (apparently it fits my back wheel but not my front one). So I borrowed a spare tyre from one of the guy sin the factory and took the car up to the tyre shop from whom I am now awaiting a call to tell me if I owe them $400 or $500 for a new set of tyres.

*sighs* Man I hate cars.

Oh well… on the plus side, I haven’t had anything to eat today and I have lost more weight :) Despite my baaaaaaaaadness last night at Anne’s place. We had a really good night though and I am going to miss them so much! Oh well, 2 more months to enjoy them :)

Work has been a total write off today, every time I try to start something, someone calls and asks for something else, I have spent most of the day on the phone trying to sort out my bosses new mobile phones and car kits, what a nightmare!

We just burglarised one of the managers offices to steal some chocolate from a gift basket he got delivered, we rearranged all the things to make it look like nothing was gone, oh we are stupid sometimes! I am not supposed to eat chocolate anyways *laughs*

Back to work, more printing and folding and stapling oh joy!

A more positive Entry

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I have lost nearly 6kg (13.2lbs) since I started weighing myself on the scales at work. At least this brings a smile to my face :) That is nearly 4kg (8.8lbs) since the wedding, I am finally getting somewhere it seems. It makes me wonder though, if Glenda helped with this, if her “block removal” therapy, DID actually remove some psychological block I had up against losing weight, or if her telling me she was doing that made ME remove some block, or if it is just coincidence, and would have happened anyway, what with cutting out the bread/pasta.

I just bought a gift certificate for C&J who housesat for us while we were on our honeymoon, to stay at the B&B where we stayed for the wedding, it was so lovely there, I hope they like it. I was at a total loss as to what to get them, it is hard to shop for a couple who don’t live together!

I feel like rambling today, too many thoughts, and no internet access to post them one at a time. Apparently all Telstra DSL, and resellers of Telstra DSL connections are shot to shit… who knows when we will get it back!

I am really going to miss Anne and her hubby when they run off travelling indefinitely in February. We are having dinner with them tonight, and she is doing her best to accomadate both her vegetarian husband and my current eating habits into one dinner, poor girl!

Hmm so hands up who thinks the US has actually caught Saddam Hussein? Who thinks it is yet another big smokescreen coverup for something else they are up to?

Oh yay, internet back!!

so you may have noticed…

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me dwelling on whether to send my dad a Christmas card, or make some form of contact, and you may remember the coin toss telling me NOT to do such a thing. Well this was reaffirmed last night as I was working night shift with my brother. Apparently Daddy Dear went to visit him with his witchwoman 2 weeks or so ago.

I casually asked, pretending I didn’t care, if he mentioned me at all, perhaps asked about the wedding or something?

Don’t be stupid girl, he didn’t mention me once.

He doesn’t give a flying fuck that I even exist anymore.

*hangs head*

Why do I even care? It is not like I am overly fond of him either, I guess I just hate the fact that he can just throw me aside without a second thought. It is painfully apparent that he is not sitting around debating whether to contact me.

*angry glare*

I will not let this get to me, I am better than that, I am stronger than that.

Survey for you to fill in :)

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1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

2. Am I lovable?

3. How long have you known me?

4. When and how did we first meet?

5. What was your first impression?

6. Do you still think that way about me now?

7. What do you think my weakness is?

8. Do you think I’ll get married?

9. What makes me happy?

10. What makes me sad?

11. What reminds you of me?

12. If you could give me anything what would it be?

13. How well do you know me?

14. When’s the last time you saw me?

15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?

16. Do you think I could kill someone?

17. Describe me in one word.

18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?

19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?

20. Are you going to put this on your DD and see what I say about you?

So I start night shift tonight…

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So today will be a 15 and a half hour work day, probably going to kill me, but oh well, I shall keep thinking of the money, even though it is already committed to paying for the rego on the bus, one step closer to owning it I guess LOL.

I am still sort of sticking to this cleansing diet, but it is getting really really hard to. I cracked last night and had a glass of cordial and a little bit of chocolate cake *oops* I have still stayed off pasta and bread though, which are the main bad things for me.

Gee what an exciting entry.

I read other peoples journals, full of insight, the world around them, genuinely interesting things, mine? Self absorbed and full of crap *laughs* oh well, no one has to read it.

Hmm so how does this week pan out?

Tonight – working

Wednesday – Dinner with Anne and her husband

Thursday – Christmas Party at the Hotel

Friday – Pre-Christmas Dinner with Mark’s mum and grandparents

Saturday – Work Christmas Party

Sunday – Maybe I will find time to ride the lovely shiny new bicycle Mark bought me for Christmas!!

Here is a pic of my bike too :)

I am not sure that is exactly the model, I am a bit vague having only seen it briefly! I haven’t owned a bike since I was about 12 years old, and I have not ridden one for longer than 10 minutes or so since then either, so I am sure to have a really sore bum for a few days after trying it for the first time!

I am starting to resent my job a bit, which is a shame, I have loved it here for the last 3 years, but I just don’t have the power to do anything. I was thinking about it last night, how my title is “product manager” and that was supposed to entail seeing a product through from the original choosing of the product through to the launch, and I have no say in any of it. I get people ringing me asking for prices on ranges that are coming out, and I didn’t even know the range they mention existed! It really drives me insane. I also know that most of the creative stuff will be taken out of our hands once the parent company takes over and implements all their style guide type stuff over here *sighs*. I feel our department may become redundant, although I hope I am wrong.

It is about 37 degrees Celsius here today, too bloody hot, and the week is only going to get hotter!!! I and reading working in the factory tonight in the heat. Apparently my boss isn’t happy about me doing the extra work, I don’t think he feels someone in my position should be lowering themselves to factory work, it might lessen me standing with the plebs or some such rubbish. He hasn’t said anything directly but….. to hell with it, I don’t care!

I have spent days and days trying to decide whether to send my dad a Christmas card with a photo from the wedding in it, in the end I tossed a coin this morning and it said not to, so I am trying to put it out of my mind and ignore the impulse.

Agh, work beckons.

Update from Friday

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I can’t help but think I should have brought my toothbrush to work!

It is only a check up, but I am dreading being told I will have to have some work done, I can’t afford it, and I don’t like the idea of “dental work” having never even had a filling.

I overslept by 2 hours this morning by accident *sigh* I woke up feeling very heavy and unwieldy and decided to allow myself an extra 45 mins of relaxation to adjust to being awake and woke up two hours later. I didn’t even hear my phone ringing as Musik kept trying to see if I was okay.

I showered with a giant spider this morning, unknowingly. I didn’t even notice him until my cat hissed and tried to bat him across the other side of the bathroom, I think she broke one of his legs, poor pidey! I rescued him and placed him in a tree outside.

The cicadas are ridiculously loud at our new house, it sounds like a drill is piercing your eardrum when you stand near a certain tree in my backyard. There are empty cicada shells all over the trees and the front porch and they are HUGE, I have never seen anything like it before. Mark said it is normal on that side of town… wow.

Think I will go heat up my soup now :) Man I love Pumpkin Soup!

Kitty and I are going out tonight to see Mandy Kane, even though she doesn’t like them, she is a good kitty and she misses me :)

Well I am back from the dentist, I need 3 fillings, which I am having done in January, I figure that isn’t too bad for not having been to the dentist in 11 years!!

Oh well back to work now…