Monthly Archives: July 2003

Boredom

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Inspired by EdStun here is a short list of search items that have lead people to this diary in the last week…

hen’s night invites – well this makes sense, I talked about them a few days ago

inkswitch – (a fellow diarist) he comments occasionally, I also had numerous other diarists names come up…

brides – I can’t think why my diary would come up anywhere near the top enough for people to click it!

dreams and meanings – seems odd that my diary would come up, surely there would be millions more on this!

buy child porn (x2) – while I know why this comes to my diary, I still hate the fact that people think they might find it on my diary when they click it

i hate my father (this has appeared 7 times in the last week) – I never even said I hate my dad did I? It came from different search engines each time, on different days…

cracking sims superstar expansion pack – Hey I BOUGHT that one!

getting another cat (x2) – I hope my information helped :)

netball wear a skirt – kinky, glad I didn’t post any pics of me doing that!

my car wouldn’t start – sorry, I don’t have that problem anymore!!

akunamatata – this was a title a little while back methinks

TISM naked – what scares me is that I am the number one hit for this topic, given it was a title of an entry in April… I hope no one figures out who I am if they like naked TISM

h.inge melbourne band – hmmm wonder if anyone I know has found it from this?

hugo weaving naked photos – I am CERTAIN I don’t have this mentioned anywhere. I tried searching msyelf, but didn’t get my diary anywhere, I will now though :-P

lynx deoderant song – i didn’t even know it HAD a song!

whoopdedoo – been a title many times

lana boobs – wrong. just wrong.

i am jack’s broken heart – ahhh fight club :)

damn, not as interesting as Ed’s list!!


Okay so I am bored. So very very bored. I can’t watch TV because I have to tape everything ofr when mark gets home, no point watching it twice *sigh*.

I was planning on doing some website work, but I am really not in the mood, I have nothing much to say really. I am going to upload more pics I think to avoid having to do any “real work” on anything. Lazy lazy lazy.

Mosaic

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Sometimes that is how I feel, like a mosaic.

The problem with this is that everyone seems to look at the brightly coloured pieces, trying to make a picture out of them, when the real image is in the cracks between the sparkling pieces. The true person is buried deeper than the surface image…

*sighs*

/crappy analogy

So I was bad on the weekend, the 2kg I lost, I put back on and added another one for good measure. I am not happy today.

Friday night we hired some DVD’s and went to get nando’s for dinner. We drove up and down the street where the shop used to be, to discover it has vanished and houses have sprung up in the place shops used to be just a few months ago.

We were driving along towards some other take away places when we spotted Nacho’s and dropped in for an impromptu dinner out. We ordered the Banquet for 2 and gorged ourselves on Nachos (with the works), burritos and decadent desserts, all for a very reasonable price of $25 a head, including coffee afterwards.

We rolled home feeling horribly ill and hid the packet of Maltesers we had bought earlier, the thought of chocolate making our stomach turn.

We watched The Sweetest Thing (and laughed our ASSES off, it’s too big to fit in here, it’s too big to fit in here, it’s too big to fit in here) followed by Aussie movie, Crackerjack, which was funny also, but not in the same depraved way as The Sweetest Thing.

Saturday morning we drove down to mum’s at Phillip Island. We met up with my brother and Cat down there and Franny (their dog). We spent hours walking Franny on the beach and the rest of the time playing Cluedo, Tribond and doing the word puzzles in the newspaper, we are all equally as geeky as each other in that respect.

Last night Mark dyed my hair for me, I think I like it but I am not 100% sure yet. I look different….

It is an ugly photo regardless… but the colour is okay I think.

Eh I usually don’t worry about such things.

A friend sent me an email address for a guy who is looking for a web designer to help him out on a job… so I sent him off an email, now I feel stupid, his work is far superior to mine, but at least I tried :) We wills see what he comes back with… if anything.

Andy I know, self – esteem, self – esteem *mantra mantra mantra*

I am just not very confident today, I have already lost a bunch of stuff here at work that I REALLY need *sighs* I don’t want to have to do it again…

Uh – oh

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We got told this week that we would be being paid on the last Friday of the month (ie today).

Unfortunately, we have just been told this is NOT in fact the case, we will get our payslips today, but no money until next Thursday, the last DAY of the month.

This throws a real spanner in the works as I would NOT have bought tickets this morning if I had known that *sighs*.

I also transferred all my money out of my savings onto my credit card as I knew I would have money tomorrow back in there.

Fuck.

So last night sucked.

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I am sure my day wasn’t meant to turn out the way it did yesterday. It wasn’t meant to be as hard and as long.

Mark offered to cook tea while I as still driving home, so I arrived home to nice hot pasta and settled down on the couch to watch mindnumbing television.

I told Mark I was debating over whether or not to go to Marilyn Manson, and told him I was waiting to here back from Justine if she wanted to go or not. He gave me a funny look and said “how about you pay for the damage you did to my car?”

I sat in silence for a minute and then proceeded to tell him I have no intention of letting the damage go unfixed, I am just waiting to see if we hear from the other driver or not, because if we don’t I will just fix his car without insurance.

He then told me he “just joking”.

Not very funny if you ask me.

I finished eating my dinner in silence, cleaned the laundry and went to the pool to do my “Deep Water Running” class. The exercise calmed me down a bit and I was feeling a bit better when I got home, until I saw his car was gone.

My first thought was maybe he went to get some ice cream or something, some sort of peace offering, then I realised the VCR had been taping for over 40 minutes, so he had been gone for ages. I had a shower and sat back on the couch with my book, but couldn’t concentrate, I went to call him, but he hadn’t taken his mobile with him.

I started thinking “maybe he’s left me” thoughts. Then I found a note from him, saying he was miserable and gone for a drive, he didn’t mean to take it out on me but couldn’t cope with it.

I sat in a heap and bawled my eyes out, hoping he would come home. He had been gone for nearly 2 hours by this stage.

When he came home, all I wanted to do was hold him, but I couldn’t, I was hurt, offended, and as usual, my brain put me first. Following this was a long back and forth conversation that was getting us nowhere.

He has a lot of issues at work currently, and in his past, that make him clam up, and not want to talk about things. What sort of a relationship do you have if you can’t open up and talk about things?

*shakes head*

I don’t even know how to write about it, I just feel too drained and worthless. The tears are held back for the moment, but they are still there.

We made up, (*semi grin*) before we went to sleep but things are still off at the moment. It hurts he can’t open up to me. It hurts he doesn’t trust me enough, but wants to marry me. It confuses me no end.

Oh yeah. I got Marilyn Manson tickets with Justine this morning.

I guess I still feel like writing

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The weekend was okay, Friday night we vegged out on the couch and watched Never Been Kissed and The Truth About Cats and Dogs (both of which I had already seen, and Mark would have been much happier watching Terminator 2 on the other channel, but oh well :D ).

Saturday I was naughty and bought the “new” Anthrax CD. Saturday night we went to see Jerk, Full Scale and FTI at Hi-Fi Bar, which was a pretty good night, we didn’t make it to the end of Jerk’s set though, were too tired and annoyed with all the “wannabe goths”.

I got some good photos, I have to stop being lazy and get myself a site for photos up soon… argh.

I really should get back to work, I am attempting to recreate packaging with not much luck unfortunately. People are being terribly annoying and not helping me identify PMS colours or provide me with logos. Wah.

And my bloody phone won’t stop ringing. People wanting to sell me things, people wanting to buy things and wrong numbers galore at the moment.

*glares at her telephone*

I just want to get back to reading Geek Love.

Yeah yeah it’s been a while

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Since I could last be bothered recounted the events of my little life.

Yesterday was a day touching on sad and depressed, but not altogether horrible.

I had meetings for most of the day and it made time go fairly quickly. We hashed out a rough launch plan for the new brand, and it means I have a LOT of work coming up, which is both good and bad.

After that marathon meeting I had a bit of a break til the next one, and was talking to one of the accounts ladies when she pointed out the window and asked me “is that a dog on the road?” I looked, and sure enough there was a little ball of fluff lying motionless on the road. I bolted for the stairs, pushing past my boss and the guys arriving for my next meeting, yelling over my shoulder that I would be back soon.

Unfortunately the little woofy was definitely dead by the time I got to it. I ran onto the road and forced a truck to swerve around the dog, the last thing I wanted was for it to get smooshed to oblivion by a truck. Finding out your pet is dead is hard enough without the trauma of seeing it as unrecognisable pulp.

Another lady met me in the middle of the road and we moved the poor thing onto the nature strip. We checked for ID tags, but found none. She knew who he belonged to anyway, so we went inside and washed the blood off our hands and walked up to the owner’s house. On the way there, she told me the dog had gotten out the previous day as well, but someone had returned it to the owner.

We knocked and waited for 5 minutes before she answered the door, but she had no interest in listening to us, she insisted her dog was fine and shut the door on us. What else could we do?

When I left work 3 hours later, it was still lying on the nature strip, but it was gone this morning. Council workers? Or the owner, realising she was wrong? I don’t know… I just felt so sad for the poor little puppy.

School after that was not what I wanted to do, but I went, and I did a whole bunch of work I already knew how to do, and went home feeling empty.

TGIF

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This week has been a very long one.

Last night was quite good, the Hotel launch was not nearly as boring as I anticipated. As it was for a children’s charity, they had children there from Somalia and various other third world countries, who need life saving operations.

The poor little kids, so many hurt by gun fire and malnutrition, so many diseases and birth deformities that are relatively simple for our surgeons to fix, and they suffer with them for years on end, until a charity can bring them here to be fixed. All the medical expenses must be paid up front as the children are not Australian residents.

It was wonderful seeing them all smiling and happy after their operations, running around after the unicyclist and magicians who had been hired for the event. The evening raised $8000 for the charity.

I am glad I was there. Glad my boss forked out the money for the tickets, and now I hope that the next 7 children due to arrive in the next few weeks are able to be treated as successfully as the 4 who were there last night.

Kerfuffle

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Well the concert was pretty smashingly good, I had a lot of fun, with the exception of my usual coughing attacks leaving me feeling rather ill and very short of breath. I went dashing through the crowd to the bar and was saved by a kindly bartender who, seeing my distress, jumped me to the head of the queue and got me water.

Louise post has morphed into her band’s name sake. Veruca Salt, AFTER she ate those purple things that made her swell up into a ball. Damn the woman can still sing though!! I got some pretty good photos (I think, I was pretty exhausted by the end of the night and was possibly not a good judge by then!).

Met exbf’s GF for the first time, she seemed nice enough, dangly earrings, halter top and high heels and all *gags* but she joined me in giving him shit about his taste in movies and other such things. Good girl.

Right now I am glaring at my computer as it tells me it cannot copy a file due to a “cyclic redundancy check” errrrr, okay. I guess I will go WITHOUT that picture. *glares at her PC*

Oooh lunchie goodness time *yippeeeeeee*

*yips around in circles*

I shouldn’t be this hungry, Benald bought us all cakes for breakfast, I was complaining I was hungry so he gave me $20 and sent me to the bakery to buy everyone breakfast *gleeful*

Croissants, muffins and danishes oh MY!

IT’S NOT A TIMOR!

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*chuckles* Bro reminded me at lunch time about that *shakes head*.

For those not in the know, we were playing this board game my mum bought that involved receiving 3 clues, and having to identify what they had in common. One of the clues included “Hasta La Vista baby, I’ll be back and It’s not a Timor”. The answer obviously being Arnold Schwarzzeneger phrases from movies, only the last one should read “It’s not a TUMOR”. *chuckles again* It has become quite common to hear us going on about that.

Last night I went to water aerobics as usual, but I did it without the flotation belt this time, making the task of just staying upright while doing the rest of the exercises about 5 times harder, I was so exhausted when I finished, but proud of myself also, for doing it the hard way. I was rewarded this morning by seeing the scales read 2kg lighter than they did last time I checked.

So tonight I am out at Veruca Salt, tomorrow night at a hotel launch/opening night party, and then the weekend is pretty busy too *sighs* oh well fun to be had in abundance no doubt *coughs except tomorrow night*.

Work is no better this afternoon than it was this morning unfortunately, gritting my teeth and watching the clock.

*sighs*

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It seems that my life wanders in circles somewhat.

I wander from happy to sad to over the moon to depressed as all hell, and then I repeat.

Work has been driving me up the wall lately, all I do all day is photocopy, scan and delete rows from spreadsheets. There is nothing that challenges my brain, nothing that inspires my creativity, it is just boring, monotonous work. I guess it got broken up a little bit yesterday when I had to go and hunt through old archive boxes for some old shipping orders *insert lack of fun here*.

I know work is just work and it shouldn’t matter how I spend my days, so long as I get paid, but it better pick up a bit soon.

I am hoping that tonight will be fun, despite the hassles I have hid with organising someone to come with me. How many people turn down free tickets to concerts? Well it seems in my life, a damn lot of them.

I started asking people who I know like the band, and no one would come. So I moved onto a friend who I know likes the style of music, and it is his birthday and he said yes, only to cancel on me yesterday.

Now Hillman is coming *yay*

Veruca Salt here we come again.

Oh I will write more later.