Monthly Archives: February 2003

Pondering

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What a freaking day! So busy! In between doing the sales departments order processing, the reps departments display planners and my own work mixed in with 1.5 hours of basic plumbing training (don’t ask!) I am exhausted. Oh and V brought in her baby Taylah again :D Such a cutie!!!!!!

I am in a bit of a grumpy mood with things at the moment. I won’t go into detail, but someone lied to me, and while I can understand that we have two relationship levels, it still irks me. On one level, I probably would have lied too, to someone in a similar capacity, but on the closer level, it bothers me a little. I am not mad at them, not at all, just, worried more than anything.

Never mind, I don’t make much sense.

I am just at odds with myself. I screwed up some stuff at work, and I was really angry with myself and not sure how to put it to my boss that no, it wasn’t the printers fault, it was mine. Eventually I just said, it is my fault and showed him the mistakes. Turns out I was wrong, he understands why things stuffed up, differences in File Types and Printing Processes in different continents! Something like that and he is not mad at me. Thank God! I have to have dinner with them all tonight, would hate them to be mad at me.

Ah hell I don’t know what else to write.

Going to Geelong tomorrow to “see the baby”. I have known this girl since she was 12 years old, a few years younger than me (she is 21 now). And now she has a little girl. Her cousin, also younger than me, has 2 kids. I have known them both for so long, since I lived in Horsham. I am sure they will be great mummy’s forever though. I know Dan is, her eldest is 8 or so now.

Mark’s car has got a good $500 that needs spending on it *sigh* we are going to be screwed with this wedding eventually…

Gotta go, more work to squeeze into the next 40 minutes.

Asssssssswipe

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God I wish it was tomorrow and I didn’t have to be here today. No one is in a good mood, including me. Mum rang before, said she is going toc all Dad and demand to know why he ignored bro’s 21st birthday. We both already know what the response will be “well he hasn’t contacted me up til now”. This being despite Bro sending him a birthday card. I didn’t tell him Mum is going to call him though, no sense upsetting him further. I just don’t get why our father has to be so uncaring? I mean, I know it could be worse, he has never physically or sexually abused us, but emotionally? Forget it.

I get paid tomorrow night thank god! I am sick of being broke!!!!!

I found this neat wedding site last night where you can order all the stationery and stuff from, they have little gift boxes and everything, they are really cool! Surprisingly cheap too. I am going to have a look at some local shops to see if they are cheaper, but I think the website is VERY reasonably priced, and they pre-print for you too! I was just looking at some other sites but they are crappy. You have to go into the shop to get pricing and stuff, bah I am too lazy.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Sorry just feel like screaming and if I do it aloud work people will think I am crackers :o )

2:00pm. 3 more hours to go.

Crazy Dreams

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What a ridiculous dream I had last night!

I was sitting at my desk right here, Musik wasn’t here, my boss was in his office, and *L* was here too. Somehow he wound up sitting at my desk too and he was leaning really close to me and kept touching me. I just ignored him and kept doing my work. Then he touched my arm and kissed me. I didn’t push him away but I didn’t respond. I noticed it was 5 o’clock so I went to leave and was just hitting the bottom the stairs when he yelled out “all this time and we are finally together”. I laughed and yelled back “nuh uh, nope!” and tried to leave. He dragged me back upstairs and into my bosses office where my boss suddenly wasn’t anymore. He started ranting and raving about how we are together now and I shouldn’t try to lead him on and all this.

I was protesting, saying I love Mark and I am not interested and where did he get the idea I am? And he started going on about my DD and how he had read it and knew everything and why the hell did I think he liked me anyways? Because I liked him. He freaked out and got in his car and suddenly everyone was back in the office, inluding Mark, asking me what the hell happened. He left behind his work folder, and there was a section devoted to me in it with notes about me, pages of them.

It was freaky.

Other than that I slept well :)

We put together the budget for the wedding lst night, is going to cost more than we thought, but not more than we can save which is good. Just means spending money for the honeymoon will be on credit card.

School starts on Monday, I am so bloody nervous about it, I am freaking out inside.

Well work calls.

Tripe

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Went and saw Gangs of New York last night, which was great despite the presence of Leonardo DiCaprio (who I can’t stand!). We redeemed my La Premiere ticket and bought the other one at a discount price as it was Tightass Tuesday. Great free popcorn and free softdrink. Bought an alcoholic beverage each before going in, fantastic!! Unfortunately as it is a 3 hour movie and started at 8:40pm I knew it was going to be a late night, but then it got later when the projector ate the film! As we entered the La Premiere couch seating from above you get to walk past all the projectors so I witnessed it burning from the back while Mark saw the screen image of it melting. Awesome on both ends!

The girl from one of the mags we advertise in just rang me to confirm lunch details for next week. I often wonder if they have a card with all my details on it as she was asking about my fiance and wedding plans etc. I am sure they have HEAPS of people who they have to remember things like that about, I am not special. But then again I am pretty good at remembering the little things about people. Maybe they are genuine.

We got tix for Rollins Spoken Word yesterday, Musik is coming with us. Unfortunately we bought tix for people who no longer want them. They told bro when he was drunk that they couldn’t go which means we have 2 leftover tickets. I am debating giving one to someone who I KNOW loves Rollins, but is perpetually broke, even though I have never met her yet! I will see how my finances are going whether or not I can afford to be so generous.

I was a bad girl yesterday, I was browsing dating sites and sending profiles to Lana so she could find herself a man, and I found one I wanted for myself so I emailed him! Muahahahahaha. I did say I just thought he was cool and would like to chat to him, even though I am getting married… I am not devious anymore hey! Yay me.

40 minutes til hometime.

We have been having some interesting debates on the CH forum lately. Ethics, morals and child porn.

So angry at the bosses at lunch time today when they decided to make me go get them lunch at 12:20pm when they told me they were going out for lunch! bah. just bah.

Bah gotta go, still stuff to finish before I can go home.

Meeeeeeemmmmoriesssssss

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So I changed my layout, like it? Like I care. Bah I am in blah mood.

I have just been reminiscing about some of my older exploits. Like the time exbf carried me kicking and screaming out of a nightclub cos some guy had his arm around me. He was supposed to be picking me up on the street at 2am, of course I lost track of time and wasn’t there. So he figures out what place I am at and manages to talk his way past the bouncers without paying, wearing shorts and no shoes. He sees me up the back and grabs the guy by the throat and picks me up round the waist and carries me out the door. I am waving my legs and arms around screaming like a banshee that he is trying to kidnap me and he better put me the fuck down, the bouncers just wave him through. I was yelling that they would lose their jobs when I was found dead on the street later. Of course I was lying, I knew he wasn’t going to actually hurt me, I was just drunk.

M, the girl I went out with, made D, the guy with his arm around me go and defend me. Poor D, he was 17, skinny, short…. up against my 6’2″ exbf who was mad as a hatter at the time. He tried to tell him to leave me alone, but he looked so terrified, when exbf advanced down the alley he took off. Kudos to him for trying though. Exbf dragged me down the alley by the arm to the car. I made him go look for M as I didn’t want to leave her in the city by herself. I think she would have been safer there though in hindsight, given the way exbf drove home.

M rang D the next few days, and transferred him to my extension before the phone answered each time! It was so funny… poor kid never got much more than laughter out of me. I was 21 at the time.

*yawns*

The other time wwas when M was drunk and smashed the mirrors in some upscale nightclub we were the only people at. We were so scared we were going to be arrested :D But we left before anyone noticed, although the “hey get back here” as the 7 of us vanished down the street sounded pretty close.

Enough nostalgia, my computer is being a bitch and I have work to do.

Yesh if everyone jumped off a building I probably would too

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Here’s my inkblot test results, although let me start by saying it was the most ridiculous test I have had the stupidity to take, the results aren’t too far off. Maybe my joking penis and parking meter responses are me real feelings? *grins*

~LIFE~, your unconscious mind is driven most by Curiosity

This means you are full of questions about life, people, and the potential of your future. You spend more time than others envisioning the possibilities of your life — things that others are too afraid to consider.

Your curiosity burns with an almost physical need to know and do more. It’s only through new experiences that you feel a greater understanding of yourself or the world — which ultimately is the greatest way for you to feel satisfied.

It is possible that the underlying reason for your drive towards curiosity is a deeply rooted fear of boredom. That means that you are probably more susceptible than others to feel like you’re falling into a rut when life slows down into a comfortable routine.

You need to make sure you have stimulation in your life — that makes you feel like you’re innovating or being exposed to the ideas and experiences that truly inspire you.

With such a strong orientation towards curiosity, you’re also prone to a rebellious quality that shows up when you feel you are just going through the motions, and are unable to really influence the world around you. But interestingly enough, your drive towards novel experiences also indicates an openness others don’t have, but wish they did.

Unconsciously, your curiosity presses you to learn more, experience more, and get the most out of life.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Curiosity, there is much more to who you are at your core.

Wow another entry

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Yep, she is a nut. She sits there in front of the tv (and the fishtank too, to a lesser extent) and watches for hours on end. If something moves fast across the screen she pounces up to catch it. She is particularly partial to nature programs and loves to chase bugs and mice on screen. Ebony just looks at her like she is stupid.

Ebony brought home some sort of marsupial the other day. Mark thought it was a mouse at first, but it had big ears and a flat sort of face, ruling out a baby possum. Apparently it didn’t seem scared of mark and he thought he could have picked it up if he wanted to. He managed to keep Ebby away from it long enough for it to escape into the bushes where she then spent the next 3 hours crying and looking for it.

*yawns* I am so tired. Only 40 minutes til lunch, thankfully. I am still not sleeping well at night, I think it is the Pseudoephedrine I am taking so many mg’s of. I worked out the amount of crap I am ingesting last night, it is scary!

Work is pissing me off as usual. The sales department is horribly inept, especially when there is only one of them here and he sits on the phone to his builder for 20 minutes. Grr Arrrgh.

I think I should be feeling okay by tomorrow night for Pearl Jam, I hope so anyways, I would hate to have to miss it. I suppose I could probably sell my ticket for a profit though, but would rather not.

Only 12 minutes to lunch.

Musik and I have been talking about weddings and what we are going to do for mine, how we can do it cheap.

Still sick *pouts*

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Blech, I am sick of being sick. The dizziness, the nausea, the pains and cramps. Enough already.

On the upside, Mark stayed home to look after me today, just as well really, I was incapable of getting out of bed by myself for most of the day. I started feeling better around 4pm and we went and did some grocery shopping, came back had tea and …

booked all our honeymoon stuff! YAY!

Other than that nothing much interesting happened between the bed, the couch and here. Going to lie down again, head is being horrible.

hypermotorsomethingorotherdisorderthingy

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there is something wrong with me in a mental capacity as well as my physical illnesses of the moment. it has been of growing concern inmy mind lately, that I cannot sit still unless there is something for me to concentrate on. i am not sure if i have posted about this before or not.

if mark finishes eating before me, i cannot sit there and wait for him to finish, i have to get up and find something else to do. i cannot watch an entire movie without getting up at least twice and moving somewhere else. i feel like screaming when ihave to sit in a haridresser’s chair or a makeup artists. if i have to do one thing at work for longer than 20 minutes, i have to swivel on my chair a few times and wave my arms in the air.

i am getting worse every day in this respect, i try to relax and take it easy, to think about other things, but i can’t. even when driving, i cannot just sit still and focus, i move around in my seat, i change positions, i put my arms out the sunroof, as a passenger i am even worse.

mark’s cousin (psychologist) diagnosed it as something like hypermotorsomethingdisorder. but i don’t know, maybe i am just weird? god knows.